The team must have put Hermes on waivers so they could try something new, I suppose.
Michael Vick's ears pricked up briefly, but only because he thought you said herpes.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:27 PM on October 09
If you don't like Bruno Mars, there's somethin' wrong with ya. The guy is talented, funny and can channel Michael Jackson at the drop of a sequined hat. He'll put on a helluva show.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:42 PM on September 09
In my league, Peyton rolled up 65. I'm pretty sure the rest of my opponent's team could stay in the locker room Sunday with the shits and beat me.
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:39 AM on September 06
"Welcome to the party. What fucking kept you?"
-- The Hoser
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:14 AM on August 10
Fielder's contract is worth every penny if just to keep us fat guys dreaming about tripling in the All-Star Game.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:37 AM on August 04
I saw the Sudekis video a couple days ago. Not as good as him as the DJ at the male strip place, but damned funny.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:34 AM on August 04
A one-pitch strikeout
My Stupid, Argumentative & Now-Ejected Cousin Vinnie
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:38 AM on August 04
Am I nuts, or is what Cooper said a line from a movie? That was the first I thought I had when I saw the story.
The second was, "That motherfucker better have three chin straps on at training camp."
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:35 AM on August 04
I believe the rule states the fielder must touch the ball while some part of your body is over (meaning in the vertical plane of) the field, so as long as Shuck had at least one pinkie back inside the wall, he was good.
Grum, I think the flip of what you propose would be players could not lean into foul ground and touch a fan or seat without forfeiting their right to the ball.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:28 AM on August 04
Given the opportunity to party in a similar fashion at his age, I'd have been the first to drop trough.
I'm dropping trou now, just in case that makes a dance party happen.
I'm dropping trou now, just in case that makes a dance party happen.
According to Billy Idol, you're on the right track.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:01 PM on June 27
I was going to answer, Rogers, but this says it better than I could: It is now the the weapon of choice but the long putter must go belly-up.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:14 AM on April 15
Belly putter = give the jacket back. Fucking ridiculous.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:49 PM on April 14
YouTube has reinstated those videos and in essence told NASCAR to go pound salt.
ESPN did absolutely nothing to cover the chaos in the stands, and even lead SportsCenter with Danica Patrick as opposed to the crash.
Someone is terribly afraid of offending the head shitkickers.
posted by wfrazerjr at 04:45 PM on February 24
"I really like to thank Massengil because Danica, uhh ... I can't really finish this sentence."
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:00 PM on January 25
I dunno. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but a game-tying goal in the regular merits this? What happens if scores an actual game winner? Fireworks shoot out the top of his head?
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:24 PM on January 25
Didn't she just announce she was divorcing her husband last week? Ah, sorry, no, announced in November but filed January 3rd. Still kinda makes me wonder if Stenhouse was in the henhouse.
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:17 PM on January 25
As I said when Lewis botched an easy interception, apparently murder charges aren't the only thing that gets dropped around him.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:50 PM on January 06
Seen, played and coached a lotta ball, and it takes quite a bit for me to lean back and say, "Oh my God."
Oh. My. God.
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:46 PM on January 02
After last night, I sure hope the Golden Globes bump Matt LeBlanc & add Mark Sanchez for "Best Comedic Performance" this season.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:50 PM on December 18
Holy crap -- the Packers can't use Isles?
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:29 PM on December 12
Calling rcade -- AFCA auctioning autographed game footballs, including North Texas.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:54 PM on December 10
It is true that Zasavica is the only town in the world which milks donkeys for cheese, but Guy Fieri will attest that if you try it on the males, you end up with a handful of Donkey Sauce.
This would be funnier if it would let me make the damned trademark symbol.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:37 PM on December 10
The clarification is it was a mistake on my part -- not sure why I typed that. The blocker never makes contact with Smith's head. Watch the video frame-by-frame and see if you come to a different conclusion, although I don't know how you could.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:49 PM on December 05
You can advance the video pretty much frame-by-frame. Watch Devin Smith's head -- how is it bouncing toward Bell if he's hitting him in the helmet?
The video shows Bell's shoulder hitting Smith's chest and head, and then the elbow following through on the chest. He never touches his head.
As for trying to trying to "light him up," well, no shit. You can light a player up legally and cleanly. This is a video demonstration of it.
posted by wfrazerjr at 02:30 PM on December 04
You're going to have to explain to me how you can explode your hips without crouching a bit.
And unless you have a completely different video from me, you'll also have to point out the strutting. Where is it? He levels the guy and walks toward the sideline. Walking = strutting?
I dunno about the Deadspin comments, but I'm guessing yerfatma is right (he usually is). The best one I've seen so far boils down to people trying to legislate the violence out of a violent game. I agree with that and I just wonder how the hell you can hit someone legally and still have it be unnecessary?
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:11 PM on December 04
Here's the discussion at Deadspin. Seems divided pretty equally.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:58 AM on December 04
I'm not sure how you can throw your body without jumping/leaping.
Watch the video again and you'll see it just fine.
If he simply steps in front of him and hits him shoulder to chest (without crouching and leaping before hand), he absolutely flattens the guy (lands on his back and knocks the wind out of him) and the runner doesn't end up going head over heels.
First off, again, he doesn't leap. He drives up and into him, the way you're taught to block -- extend with the hips and explode into the player. Using the forearm is fine. And you're right -- the blocker could let up and just try and cut the guy off. He could also completely fuck up the block that way and not do his job.
I understand why you guys feel this way -- it's an ugly result. But this is not Warren Sapp cheapshotting Chad Clifton 30 yards from the play, and the announcer in the clip even points out the same thing. As stopping the video at 1:09 shows, this is a blocker putting his shoulder in the shoulder and chest of a would-be tackler in a completely legal manner.
Blockers deter would-be tacklers all the time without resorting to an attempted decapitation.
Unless you are now counting the body down damned near to the waist as the "head," calling this an attempted decapitation is just sensationalism.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:42 AM on December 04
It's the same reasoning why a defender gets a penalty if they grab a running back and then try to slam him down on his head.
No, it's completely different. A guy slamming another guy's head into the turf is an intentional attempt to injure someone that has nothing to do with the play.
That was a clean block where the blocker removed the defender who was about to make the tackle. Stop the film and the blocker doesn't leap at him, he sets himself and throws his body into the effort to, you know, make sure he makes the block.
There are plays such as this where the only way the blocker can be sure to remove the would-be tackler is going to flatten him. It's physics, not intent, and I'd like to see football realize that, in the same fashion it would be nice if the powers that be would realize that the head does not extend to the shoulders and chest and stop calling everything that looks remotely close as a hit to the head.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:58 AM on December 04
That intent to injure call the game Grum linked is a joke. What the fuck is he supposed to, ask the guy kindly not to make the touchdown-saving tackle?
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:09 PM on December 02
You mean a guy who screams all game, blocks the view of other fans and is generally acting out a "LOOK AT ME!!!" fantasy every week isn't coming back?
See ya later, dipshit.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:31 AM on November 27
That GIF pretty much took Sanchez's HOF dreams and rectum.
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:08 PM on November 23
He must stomp your QB's junk
Like a Broadway show
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:36 PM on November 22
If Jackson wants to come back, fly his ass to Toronto and see what he can do with this bunch. If he gets to .500 at any point in the season, he's the greatest coach ever.
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:48 PM on November 12
Indianapolis (-3.5) at JACKSONVILLE (43): Despite that 5-3 record, Indy is bad on the road and negative in point differential (-32 and counting). Does that mean you should put money on a Jaguars team that epitomizes bad in nearly every sense of the word, though? If you're getting better than a field goal at home, yes, yes it does. Colts 22, Jaguars 19.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:12 PM on November 08
My tweet from last night:
Hope everyone giving @Bozie42 shit for Michael Jackson costume is boycotting Cloud Atlas & sending hate mail to Halle Berry & Tom Hanks
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:59 PM on October 31
Not a soccer guy, but love this move for those of you who are. Bigger contract = more exposure.
posted by wfrazerjr at 02:14 PM on October 29
The Islanders get more than $20M a year from their TV package, which will not be affected by the move. That helps.
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:27 AM on October 26
I've already over explained why the call was ridiculous and I'm not going to rehash it here.
That's good. It saves me explaining that by the letter of the rule, you were wrong then and you're still wrong. The call was made properly and if you're arguing it as "ridiculous," I can only assume you want the rule changed. The call might have "debatable," but it certainly wasn't ridiculous -- it fell well within the scope of the rule.
As for the umpires I spoke with, they had no reason to support an ump they didn't know. They simply agreed with the call, although one of them pointed out they would like a change in name to the "Infielder Fly Rule."
And yes, I'm guessing I do have a higher opinion of MLB umpires than you do. Given they are constantly criticized for rulings by people who have little to no knowledge of the rulebook (not including you in that, but players, coaches and media are shockingly misinformed) or not being perfect, I surprised anyone takes the job.
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:25 PM on October 22
But then the infield fly rule happened in Atlanta, and suddenly I saw Cardinal fans everywhere claiming there was nothing wrong with the call, and making fun of Braves fans for being upset (as if Cardinal fans wouldn't have complained in the same situation).
Along with those Cardinal fans claiming there was nothing wrong with the call, you should also add MLB and every umpire with whom I spoke. Just for balance.
Also, I think when you disrupt a game by endangering the players with a shower of debris and put yourself in the possible position of earning a forfeit, you deserve ridicule.
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:47 AM on October 22
I agree it's not a huge factor, but I think it does affect players who are either really hot or really cold. I'm sure Peralta and Jackson would rather be right back at it as opposed to hitting off tees and BP pitchers, while Fielder might use the few days to get his stroke grooved again.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:19 AM on October 20
Michael Phelps, a 26 handicapper, is getting better at golf.
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:22 PM on October 18
Also, Decker's girlfriend Jessie James takes to Twitter to offer her explanation.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:49 PM on October 17
So what's not ordinary effort about that play? The ball was hit a mile in the air, Kozma has plenty of time to run back, turn, call for the ball ... and then get the hell out of the way as the ball falls less than five feet from him? He was not running particularly hard, he did not appear to lose sight of the ball.
What's extraordinary about this play?
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:50 PM on October 06
Rob Neyer's take on the controversy.
SPOILER ALERT: he agrees with me.
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:44 PM on October 06
Define "camped out." In my mind (and the mind of the rulebook), if a major-league infielder has time to run out to the outfield, then turn around and backpedal a bit, he should catch the ball.
That would also mean that any ball blown by the wind or where the fielder is drifting to make the catch would not be an "ordinary effort."
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:23 PM on October 06
I always thought the infield fly rule, when used correctly, applied largely to, you know, like, the infield.
It doesn't. If it did, an infielder could simply step outside the scope of the infield, then let the ball drop at his feet and throw out the lead runner (or whichever runner he felt it was more advantageous to remove). The umpire has to have the discretion to call it when he feels the infielder is going to make the catch.
This call was correct, albeit late. The shortstop clearly turns, takes two steps and then jumps away when he thinks Holliday is going to freight-train him. The ball's still in the air that whole time, and that's plenty enough time for the umpire to think the shortstop is going to make a pretty routine play.
Turn it around the other way. Given that Uggla got to third pretty quickly after the ball dropped, there's a chance had the shortstop not ducked out of the way, he could have doubled Uggla off, and then Braves fans would be screaming there was no infield fly call made.
I have a friend who has just finished his first season umping in the minors, though (thinking about interviewing him for a post here), and I'll ask his opinion when I see him tonight.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:29 AM on October 06
I dunno, Ufez. That's pretty damned close to perfect.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:56 PM on October 05
Depends. If all you care about is your team making the playoffs (i.e. buying a shitload of talent stack the deck during the regular season), then the second wild card is a great thing. If you care about your team winning a title, I think it matters little.
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:47 PM on September 30
The Hoser on the NFL is up for Week Four.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:33 PM on September 28
The Hoser is betting the Ravens are pooped.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:59 PM on September 27
Just a little extra for our friends up north playing Pro-Line -- here's the value I like:
TAMPA BAY +7.5
SAN DIEGO -3
This week I have a three-team parlay of Cleveland, Miami and San Diego, another three-team substituting Arizona for the Chargers and a six-teamer adding Detroit, Arizona and Pittsburgh.
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:17 PM on September 23
The Hoser is up, although why anyone would be paying attention after Week One, I have no idea.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:22 AM on September 23
If I'm not mistaken, YYM, I'm pretty sure there was a play a few snaps before that where the play clock expired and the 49ers weren't flagged, either.
posted by wfrazerjr at 04:37 PM on September 17
There's no "I" in asshole, either.
posted by wfrazerjr at 04:49 PM on September 13
I have been arguing this on Twitter with some Nationals fans, and here's the best argument I can give -- don't you think Rizzo and Johnson want to go to the playoffs this season? Isn't the fact they publicly made a decision which really causes them nothing but grief an excellent reason to think they have very strong evidence to think this is the right course of action?
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:06 AM on September 11
Week One of The Hoser.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:03 AM on September 09
We'll be back with the full compliment of picks for this week on Friday, but here's Wednesday's season opener:
Dallas (+3.5) at NEW YORK GIANTS (44.5): Former Cowboy WR Roy Williams has become a regular on "Storage Wars Texas." Maybe if he looks long and hard enough, he might find Dez Bryant's brain. I hope he hits his blocking assignments as hard as he hits his momma. Giants 26, Cowboys 17.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:33 PM on September 05
Of course it would, and if the goal was to do that, the ref should have gone to the keeper and issued a warning. She did not, but she did apparently let a player talked into making an almost completely unheard of call.
As for the dick thing, an official's job isn't to not be a dick, it's to work the game. The player's job is to play. When a player doesn't grasp that, they have to be reminded of it, sometimes in a not-so-gentle fashion.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:44 PM on August 09
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:38 PM on August 09
Wambach's counting was brilliant. One more reason she's my favorite soccer player on the planet. If the ref doesn't tell her to stop, there's nothing wrong with her doing it.
Aside from being an annoying jerk, no, there isn't. Gamesmanship is fine.
But any self-respecting ref would eventually turn to her and say, "Do you have the fucking whistle? Then shut the fuck up and go play and let me officiate."
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:37 PM on August 08
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