- 02:23 AM
- 11/22/09
Best line I heard all weekend was by Keith Olbermann, "When Tony Romo sat down, he missed the bench."
Heh.
Also: the Steelers tried their best to blow a 28-point lead last night. Their defensive play late in the game does not bode well.
Also also: the Saints are really, really scary. Like, ho-lee shit how do we stop them scary.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 07:15 PM on October 05
At least he didn't run over a dog. That'd get him two years in Leavenworth.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:16 PM on August 13
If Vick is smart (and by all available evidence he is not) he's spent the last two years doing sit-ups and push-ups. He'll need to work on his timing and speed, but I don't doubt he can come back and be effective. I'm glad to see him get a chance to play. I can't imagine the kind of pressure he must be under. If he can channel it into performance on the field, we'll be seeing some amazing stuff in the highlight reel.
Of course, as a Falcons fan, the emergence of Matty Ice and the steady hand Coach Smith has brought to the team make it a helluva lot easier to be forgiving of Vick in 2009 than I was in 2007.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:12 PM on August 13
I hope he does play in the NFL again. And I'm glad that it won't be for my Falcons.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:55 PM on July 04
Oh no. Oh no. McNair was one of my favorite players of all time. Oh goddamn.
Goddamn. Goddamn.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 07:03 PM on July 04
I kinda like this idea, too. Why not? It's not like fewer people could possible watch that yearly snoozefest.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:18 PM on January 05
Oops. Yeah, I commented before reading the second link. Which says EXACTLY what my first comment says.
But I'm now convinced that I'm qualified to be an analyst for Fox Sports.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:55 AM on December 08
Alabama vs. Utah is a lose/lose proposition for Bama fans.
Alabama wins: "Well, it was UTAH, after all. Big deal." Alabama loses: "You guys suck! Beat by UTAH."
Kinda like last year's Georgia vs. Hawai'i game.
And yeah, Texas Tech got screwed.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:48 AM on December 08
Warrick Dunn is one of the most stand-up guys ever to play professional football. I don't have anything else to say, just, yay, Warrick Dunn rocks.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 07:54 PM on November 07
I understand your sentiment, Drood. I resisted college sports for years and years, largely because college football is practically the state religion around here. But there is nothing like being in the stands in Tuscaloosa during a kick-off, and 80,000 people are screaming and the whole place is a sea of crimson... it's spectacular. And not just the devotion people demonstrate to their team, the teams themselves. That Texas-Oklahoma game last Saturday? Amazing. Two talented teams playing smart, physical ball, with passion. It was a treat for even the most lukewarm fan of the game to watch.
Plus, a lot of these schools have been playing each other for a CENTURY or so. There's tons of history and tradition for a fan to wallow in.
Is it overblown and taken to a ridiculous extreme? Sure. But that's only because there was something there to begin with, something beautiful and joyous to participate in, whether you're on the field or in the stands.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:07 PM on October 15
Matt Millen obviously has pictures of Bill Sr. blowing a goat. There is no other possibility. No one else could demonstrate such utter incompetence year-in, year-out and still keep a job.
Beaverboard makes a great point -- a lame Lions hurts the NFL as a league. They're a core franchise. Hell, my Atlanta Falcons could disband tomorrow and no one would notice. But the Lions are woven into the fabric of the game.
And the frustrating part is: there's plenty of talent on that team!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:56 PM on September 23
I'd be more worried about the SEC beating each other up
You mean tempered by the cleansing flame of quality competition? I agree.
(OK, Alabama played Western Kentucky last week, Tulane the week before, and lost to LA-Monroe last season, so there's that. There are plenty of cupcakes in an average SEC schedule. But they're non-conference games.)
And not only do SEC teams play each other all season, but also they then play a championship game! Harsh, dude! (Oh wait. So does the PAC-10. Never mind.)
When I was a kid, growing up in Alabama, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and lawn darts were family fun, it was widely acknowledged (at least among my father's more endrunkulated and opinionated friends, you know, the ones I grew up watching college football with) that the only college football team with a reputation and fan base to match our beloved Crimson Tide were the Ohio State Buckeyes.
(And Notre Dame, but they didn't count -- damn non-conference Catholics. Probly communiss pinkos.)
So the rise of USC seems somehow abhorrent to me, even as I cheer their alumni in the NFL and acknowledge Pete Carroll as the best college coach of his time. (Next in line for coronation: Sylvester Crooms. Worst mistake Alabama ever made, not hiring that guy. Except for Coach Fran, of course. They love Saban in Tuscaloosa, but he ain't gonna stay long enough to build a dynasty the way Crooms could have. Plus, private jet. WTF?)
So, in the same way that I root for whoever can beat Tennessee in the SEC, I root against USC reflexively.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 06:51 PM on September 15
Is this the thread where I off-handedly mention the obvious superiority of the SEC (five teams in the top ten) and ruminate over what would happen to USC if they actually had to play a challenging schedule, like teams in some other, superior conferences do?
No?
OK, then.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 05:55 PM on September 15
Rudi shouldn't worry. Knowing Bell, he'll drop those bags any second.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:43 PM on September 04
Well.
I thought it was cool.
*slinks away, kicks dirt*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 09:08 PM on September 03
Because obviously going to a club with a provocatively dressed woman means you were looking to get shot.
Good for Coach Del Rio to try to move the media focus to finding the shooter instead of making insinuations about the player.
I hope Collier makes a complete recovery and is able to resume his professional career.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:26 PM on September 03
"Around the Horn" is still on the air? Huh. Who knew.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 09:21 PM on August 28
Shockey + New Orleans = bonanza for Times-Picayune sportswriters. On the field AND off. As a Falcons fan (shut up, I know, OK?) I look forward to an exciting season for the NFC South...
posted by BitterOldPunk at 05:45 PM on July 22
A few years ago I was bartending at a restaurant when TO and his "date" walked in. Turns out his "date" was his sister (or half-sister, or something) who lives in my hometown and TO was visiting for a few days. They took a booth in a corner of the bar, enjoyed their meal and a couple of cocktails, and TO graciously hung out for about half an hour afterwards signing autographs for the waitstaff and shaking hands with well-wishers. He was friendly, personable, and a good tipper. I'd figured him to be a spoiled loudmouth, but that evening changed my perception of the guy. Contrast that with a story I heard from a friend of mine, a waiter in a tres chic restaurant in South Florida -- he called me all excited one night to say that Eli and Peyton Manning had been in earlier drinking up a storm, asking if anyone knew where to find any blow, and were currently sitting parked in their Escalade in the alley out back getting their knobs slobbed by a couple of Florida's finest escorts. On-screen personae may differ markedly from off-screen behavior.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:28 PM on July 22
I have Tiger fatigue. I was hoping Mediate would win. He played some really great golf. Oh well. Tiger will not let up until he wins 20 majors. That's his grail. One more than Jack. He'll do it, too.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 07:41 PM on June 17
The fact that the first two games are only on Versus breaks my heart....and compels me to go to a sports bar that gets Versus.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:49 PM on May 24
I loved the YouTube comments on a related video: MONGOLIA RULZ Do you guys even have the INternet? Fuck u we have better girls than your bitches R U serious? I live in Sweden ffs
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:13 PM on April 25
Coincidentally, the Lions just jumped on the bandwagon and trademarked "0-17". Leaving the Falcons to wonder, "Now why didn't WE think of that?"
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:11 PM on April 21
Right. Because repeatedly punching someone in the head until they fall down is more sportsmanlike than maneuvering them into a submission hold that results in a tap-out. UFC fights are exciting, they pit talented athletes against each other, and I don't believe there's any evidence that they are more dangerous than boxing (I'd think they were safer, really, in terms of cumulative damage to the participants). Bemoaning the UFC as an indicator of America's "war-like" culture is just a kind of self-satisfied armchair sociology. Can't you say you find it distastefully violent, and leave it at that? That's fine, that's your opinion, but to then draw a line from the UFC to US foreign policy is specious reasoning of the most fuzzy-headed sort. True, but I don't live in those countries. Last time I checked, Americans were playing and enjoying watching hockey, rugby, and Muay Thai.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:29 PM on April 19
Maddux' record of 116 decapitated hookers in one season will surely not be broken in a post-steroids world. That made beer come out my nose. AND IM NOT DRINKING BEER
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:31 AM on April 19
Three of the greatest achievements in sports history: Secretariat wins the 1973 Kentucky Derby. He ran each quarter-mile leg of the race FASTER than the one before -- meaning the horse was still accelerating as he crossed the finish line. It was the fastest Derby ever run (1:59 2/5), and only one horse (Monarchos in 2001) has since finished the race in under 2 minutes -- two horses did it that day in 1973: Secretariat, and his rival, Sham. Secretariat wins the 1973 Preakness. And, of course, the thrilling, amazing, jaw-dropping, never-will-we-see-it-again performance of Secretariat at the 1973 Belmont Stakes. The horse won by 31 lengths. Thirty-one lengths! It was the fastest mile-and-a-half ever run (2:24), beating the old record by 2 seconds. To this day, no horse has ever run that distance in less than 2:25. Whenever I want to see pure athletic excellence in action, I watch replays of the 1973 Belmont Stakes, possibly the greatest non-human athletic achievement ever captured on film. Most racehorses' hearts weigh between 8 and 10 pounds. At autopsy, Sham's heart was found to weigh 19 pounds. Secretariat's heart (which was never formally weighed as the horse's owners wished him to be buried intact) was estimated to have weighed about 22 pounds. We may someday see a horse like that again, but we will never, ever see a performance like the 1973 Belmont Stakes. I wanted to make this a FPP, but figured I'd just put it here.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:02 PM on April 18
I'll bet I could move a lot of "My kid can beat up your honor student" bumper stickers at these events.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:27 PM on March 29
There are only eight teams in the CFL? Really? I had no idea.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:03 PM on March 02
My dad was a season ticket holder and he & I went to just about every home game the Birmingham Stallions played in '83 & '84. Then I left town, but I still freakin' LOVED the USFL, and it broke my heart to see them move to a fall schedule and destroy themselves. If it hadn't been for the USFL, I'd have never gotten to see Herschel Walker, Jim Kelly, and Reggie White (not to mention Joe Cribbs...who once owned "Joe Cribbs' Superstar Car Wash" out on Highway 280...) play football in person. Birmingham has a long, sad history of minor-league football teams (Go, Vulcans!) but not only were the Stallions GOOD (two-time Eastern Conference champs) they were popular -- the games were well-attended. Damn, I miss the USFL. If they'd made a go of it, we'd now have quality year-round football. Guess I'll hafta start rooting for our new team now.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 06:08 PM on February 25
Oh, snap.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 03:41 PM on February 23
Keyshawn had good hands and wasn't afraid to run slants and crosses across the middle. That said, he should stay retired. I think he'll get better in the booth. I'd rather listen to him than Michael Irvin, that's for damn sure.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:37 PM on February 21
I'd never heard of the breed of dog he owns. Turns out they're rather fearsome.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 09:46 PM on February 05
Not only was Guy not inducted, I'm not sure if he was even mentioned in any of the sports news articles covering the class of '08. What a joke. But hells yeah for Darrell Green and Art Monk, two players who richly deserve to be recognized as the best of the best. And it's kinda cool that they'll go in together, as friends and teammates. I propose a year-long SpoFi push to get Ray Guy in the HoF. I don't know how we could accomplish this, but I am fully caffeinated and feelin' ambitious.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:36 PM on February 03
I'd put Tin Cup on that list. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:52 PM on January 25
Saw this on ESPN today. Good cause, great idea, seems like a pretty cool guy to have coaching your team.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:48 PM on January 25
I wish the Super Bowl halftime show was the PP&K ceremony. That would solve several problems: 1. Shitty Super Bowl halftime shows 2. OK, so it would only solve one problem.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 03:39 PM on January 16
I want Brett Favre's Packers (the forces of good and right) to beat the Patriots (the forces of bad and wrong) in the Super Bowl. I know this will never, ever, ever happen. But I want it so bad.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:03 AM on January 12
please please please arthur blank just keep walking do NOT look mr billick in the eye....
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:00 PM on January 01
In other NFL news: a cloud of locusts blots out the sun, rivers run red, and frogs fall from the sky as Tampa Bay scores on a kick return for the first time in franchise history.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 05:03 PM on December 16
So when the dust settles the greatest hitter of the steroid era will be Frank Thomas.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 09:00 PM on December 14
Good riddance to bad rubbish. Paging Bill Cowher, Coach Cowher to the white courtesy phone....
posted by BitterOldPunk at 07:55 PM on December 11
Colt Brennan will look good in red and black.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 03:47 PM on December 10
Darrell Green doesn't need to get inducted this time around, cuz he's so fast, he's already delivered his acceptance speech FROM THE FUTURE. *puts the joint down*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 05:55 PM on December 09
I don't have a good reason. I just think Art Monk is a class act and Cris Carter is an asshole. I 'm completely, cheerfully, unapologetically irrational about it.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:11 PM on December 08
If it was all about numbers, then Stallworth would've gotten in before Swann. Carter should get in, but Monk should get in first.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:08 AM on December 08
Art Monk should get in before Carter and Reed. Ray Guy should have been in years ago. Hell, everything chicobangs said, including head-scratching over Richard Dent. And I'm ashamed to admit that I don't really know who Steve Tasker is.....
posted by BitterOldPunk at 02:57 PM on December 06
A couple of years ago circumstances surrounded me with coworkers who played/coached/watched lacrosse. And as a bartender with access to every sports broadcasting network designed by humans, and some designed by monkeys, it wasn't hard for me to find a lacrosse game to watch. I liked it (field lacrosse, both the NCAA tournament and MLL), and I thought it translated well to TV. High-scoring, plenty hitting, and with the birds-eye view of the TV camera even an ignoramus like me could see the plays setting up, and defensive moves to counter those plays. So, yeah. Yay lacrosse. Hugh, how does the three-long-stick rule make the game different, playwise? I suppose it was implemented by MLL to facilitate scoring, to sell the game to fans, but I don't know enough about the sport to understand how this rule impacts play.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:36 PM on October 20
If Ricky Williams were on a team in a medical-marijuana state and he obtained a legal prescription....hmmm.... He'd take them to the Super Bowl, with a glazed, dippy smile on his face. First player to levitate for more than 2000 yards in a season. And wheezing slightly. Nah, Ricky could afford a vaporizer. Man, that would be great.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:43 PM on October 05
The Dallas Cowboys are Mexico's team. And my experience as an NFL fan with no local team is similar to justgary's. Except I hated the Cowboys, because they were on TV all the time, and Roger Stauback seemed like kind of a tool, but John Stallworth and Lynn Swann and Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier were fucking gods, so I became a Steelers fan. Now I root for the Falcons, because they're in easy driving distance. And Warrick Dunn's a good guy who should run for public office one day. But when it gets to the playoffs, I suddenly start bleeding black and gold again.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:37 PM on October 05
I don't always agree with TMQ, but I sure a look forward to reading it every week during the NFL season. And if fat old guys like me can't ogle cheerleaders, then what are they there for? BOP's preseason Super Bowl pick: Chargers vs Saints (that was too easy).
posted by BitterOldPunk at 09:38 PM on August 08
Rickey Henderson is BitterOldPunk's favorite baseball player ever, and as a Mets fan, he hopes Rickey Henderson has a long and productive future with the club. He doubts it, Rickey Henderson being Rickey Henderson and all (and the Mets being the Mets), but still he hopes.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:29 PM on July 15
Off topic, but the SI link led me to this, which made me very, very happy.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:29 AM on August 31
I'm on the John Daly diet.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:55 AM on April 24
Maybe it's just that Patrick and Olbermann represented an era in which hipness meant detachment, and today's with-it young anchors represent an era in which hipness means sycophancy. Booyah, indeed.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:56 AM on April 04
I wish I could claim "GM of the Boston Red Sox" on my resume at this moment in life. You could. But you'd be lying.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:34 PM on November 27
I like the bitch-slap dance. (I call it the "spanky-spanky".)Takes cojones to do that on the field with the defense watching you. I also like the guy. Koy seems like a man who truly marches to the beat of a different drummer. I hope to see him back in action soon. And speaking as one who has dislocated an elbow, I understand why he was writhing in agony. It's the most pain I've ever endured, including a broken jaw and multiple skull fractures. Until they popped it back in. Then it really hurt. Fortunately, unless there is serious damage to the tendons or ligaments, he ought to be back in form pretty quickly. (My injury was not caused by doing anything heroic or even vaguely athletic: fell off the roof while cleaning the gutters.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 01:07 PM on November 27
Dick Pound. Huh huh huh.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:51 PM on November 27
I agree! And on public courses in New York -- the crowds were great. At times it sounded like a Rangers game, not a golf tournament. And despite some post-round whining from Sergio and Nick Price, I thought the course set-up was peerless (maybe they coulda shortened the tenth tee on Friday, but...eh). I was glad to see Mickelson play well on Sunday. He made a couple of bogies coming in but it was still a solid round. Good to see all the love btwn Faldo and the crowd, too. I always loved his game, but thought the man somewhat a jerk. I've revised my opinion. Nice to see his public persona loosening up as he gets his game back. And what can you say about Tiger? Wow. As they would say on Long Island, "Fuggedaboudit."
posted by BitterOldPunk at 04:04 PM on June 17
FSU Trustee: Time for Bobby Bowden to Go
I'm surprised Jimbo Fisher hasn't smothered Bowden in his sleep already. He's been primed to take the reins at Florida State for years. Let him. Joe Pa, OTOH, should coach until he falls over dead.