Recent Comments by Hugh Janus

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Free stew! He's really going all in.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:28 PM on November 17

Chris Christie: Hot Female Tennis Players Are Hot

Like I said, that's the spirit!

When you preemptively dismiss any disagreement as childish and frame it as PC Kulturkampf, pretending you're taking the high road frankly stinks. It's a reactionary tactic that snuffs any chance for a reasonable exchange of ideas.

But that's not what you're after.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:44 PM on June 09

Chris Christie: Hot Female Tennis Players Are Hot

For chrissakes, can't even this tiny little site off the beaten path be free from this childish culture of virtue signaling and moral purity posturing that's taken over everywhere else on the web?

That's the spirit!

The answer is no, there's no reason to make even more room online for the boorish, troglodytic, and sadly average attitudes of yesterday's man and his little brothers who wail and pout when the grown-ups tell them it's rude to measure a sportswoman's achievement by the angle of their erections.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:34 PM on June 09

Rockies SS Jose Reyes receives 52-game suspension for domestic violence incident

The hotel called 911 because her injuries needed treatment. During the call they told the dispatcher it looked like she'd been hit. That she eventually refused to testify is not an indication that nothing happened or that she made it all up. It is, in fact, prosecutors are frequently frustrated by such refusals. In some cases the evidence is clear enough that they can proceed without the victim's testimony.

In this case they clearly could not. But Reyes' employer could, after examining the public record and the results of their own investigation, punish him not for giving his wife a black eye, but for giving one to the Rockies and MLB.

That you see yourself as a victim of a vengeful ex-wife has no bearing whatsoever on the Reyes case. In fact, the comparison sounds like apples and oranges. Katherine Reyes refused to testify against her husband after treatment at a hospital, while the person in your story apparently faked injuries in order to gain an edge in divorce proceedings.

Having personal involvement in a vaguely similar situation probably makes your judgment of the Reyes story more heartfelt, but less reliable.

posted by Hugh Janus at 11:59 PM on May 14

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

When I was a kid I went to a Washington Diplomats summer soccer camp where Johan Cruyff was a coach. Well, it was more like an extended meet-n-greet than real coaching. But still, I met him, and later when I made Dutch friends I'd tell them about my having been coached by Cruyff. None of them ever really took it very well. I guess because I'm a Yank, not a very good soccer player, and because Cruyff was a legitimate national treasure.

Also my friends probably didn't like being reminded that, like all the other greats of his era, Cruyff was a big star in the NASL.

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:01 AM on March 25

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Seriously, where are they?

Why would they bother, when you're around to do it for them?

It must be exhausting to constantly be the victim.

Exhausting for everybody when the constant victim's a perennial winner as well.

posted by Hugh Janus at 04:21 AM on January 10

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Meadowlark Lemon taught me the difference between latitude and longitude in "Meadowlark Lemon Presents the World," sadly unavailable on the internet, but written about here.

This knowledge is quite useful. Thank you, Mr. Lemon.

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:22 AM on December 29

Steve Williams: Tiger Woods Treated Me Like a Slave

White guy says working for African-American man made him feel like a slave OH NO HE DIDN'T

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:39 PM on November 02

Coke, Bud, McDonald's and Visa Demand Sepp Blatter Quit Immediately

I'd love to see Blatter in jail and out of power, but major advertisers using financial pressure to oust an organization's leadership in the name of "a truly independent approach" is rich.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:48 AM on October 04

Federal Judge Tosses Brady's 4-Game NFL Suspension

You're right, hincandenza. I was lying. The Patriots didn't actually fuck my sister's dog. In fact, I don't even have a sister.

I do have a brother, however, and let me tell you what the Patriots did to his puppy....

posted by Hugh Janus at 12:37 AM on September 06

Pete Rose bet on MLB games while an active player in those games.

I think it would be for the best if he is promised reinstatement the day after he dies. Then he can be inducted posthumously to the Hall. No reward in this life for cheating, but his legacy is eventually honored. Problem solved.

That way if he really wants to be reinstated sooner rather than later, he has options.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:58 AM on June 24

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

roll it all up into a large anal probe.

Aw, not again!

posted by Hugh Janus at 06:48 AM on May 02

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Good movie.

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:54 AM on May 01

Losing Wisconsin Coach Laments 'Rent-a-Player' Trend

Shit, if an 8-year old had the stuff to take the NBA to school, I'd be like, damn girl. Just do it.

Age requirements are just there to protect the mortals. Slamdunk Godlet is on her way.

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:56 AM on April 10

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

However, that cheap shot and calculated no-call probably galvanized Wisconsin and united any neutral spectators in their outrage. It was nice to see the cosmos step in after the refs took a pass.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:40 PM on April 05

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

My dad refers to Raftery's schtick as "non-stop basketball blather" from a "sound-effects man."

Some kisses... are s-s-sweeter than wine!

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:18 PM on April 04

Chargers, Raiders Pursue Shared Stadium in Los Angeles

Over the years historic ships and other things have been added.

Not to quibble, but I think they moored the Chesapeake around when Harborplace opened, and the Torsk and the Constellation were there much longer. They do keep adding new ones from time to time, and there are always those big weekends when the Danish fleet comes for a visit.

The big reason they put Camden Yards down there was that the harbor crowds would benefit the ballpark and vice versa. I mean, nobody was making a day of it out at Memorial Stadium, but you can go down early and get overpriced lunch at Harborplace and then walk up to see the O's play. Anyone with their head on straight goes to Lexington Market for crabcakes, though.

But the Inner Harbor was totally a tourist attraction for a long time before the Camden Yards refit -- it was the Baltimore tourist attraction, I should say. Sure, building ballparks helped business, but Mr. Rouse's Harborplace development was the earlier revitalizing element that set the stage for bringing the stadiums, which of course in their turn helped bring gameday crowds to the inner harbor.

I'm sure the AVAM brings in hordes of football fans slavering for outsider art, as well.

I think the biggest success of Camden Yards and PSINet Stadium is the nice egress to streets and highways. Compared to other local football venues, traffic is a breeze.

posted by Hugh Janus at 01:17 AM on February 22

Jerry Rice Should Catch Some Hell for This

Say it ain't so, Jerry!

It's like when we heard Hank Aaron was on speed:

So what, big deal.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:39 AM on February 07

Patriots Win Super Bowl 0x31 After Epic Last-Second Interception

Tom Brady, welcome to Sportsfilter! I hope you aren't trying to go incognito here. The "Bradyman" handle is a dead giveaway.

Good game!

posted by Hugh Janus at 01:50 AM on February 02

Patriots Win Super Bowl 0x31 After Epic Last-Second Interception

That was a moronic play call.

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:08 PM on February 01

The Gaming Obsession of the Green Bay Packers

This is pretty cool. Now, if they were playing Cosmic Encounter that would be really cool.

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:06 AM on January 17

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

That's hilarious. I will never again see Diego Costa without thinking of your dream. What an image.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:46 AM on December 23

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Look, I know even putting this in the huddle is a big, big stretch, but see, it's sports related! And I woke up laughing, so here it is.

Last night I dreamt that I scored in my debut game for Barcelona. The game was a blur, and after some teammate backslapping and applauding the ultras, I headed for the tunnel to the locker room.

Only, the tunnel didn't lead to the locker room. It led across a public square to a sort of communal locker room shared by all the youth teams and their opponents of the day. Of course, the kids were excited to see me, but I was really tired of wearing my sweaty kit and cleats so I made a hasty exit through a side door...

...which led to the top of a cliff. Peering over the cliff I could just make out some sort of religious procession below. There were quite a few soccer fans on the cliff with me, and just to my left was a group of Norwegian soccer players, who were also wearing their uniforms. I said, "Boy am I glad to see you guys, do you happen to know where the players' entrance to the Bernabeu is?" And they shot me a look like shut the FUCK up do you even know where we ARE? and the crowd around us loomed in like a riot waiting to start.

So I loudly corrected myself, asking where the players' entrance to the Nou Camp was, and they said "Oh, it's under the pitch." I looked down again at the marchers below and wondered if I had mistaken Roman legion regalia for the monstrance and canopy of Catholic processional. No matter, I needed a shower, so back to the stadium!

At the stadium I finally made it to the sub-level and it was like a shopping mall. I happened to recognize the hostess of one of the chain restaurants, Francesca (or Rita, I was sleeping so I'm not sure) and asked her if she knew where the players' entrance was. She said sure, but she couldn't leave her post, so she called Sergio over and he agreed to take me.

We walked quite a distance until we turned a corner and Sergio beamed up at me, wide arms proudly gesturing toward our destination: a noisy sports bar with a bright neon sign naming it: THE PLAYERS' ENTRANCE.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:36 AM on December 23

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Damn good piece of writing on Bernard Hopkins.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:03 AM on November 02

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Flag 'em all and let God sort it out.

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:43 AM on September 30

Tackled Ohio State Student Was Wearing Secret Booze Panties

Too bad the kid didn't puke all over the strength coach. The price of vigilantism.

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:24 AM on September 30

Brady Hoke's Dangerous Incompetence So Bad ESPN Announcers Denounce It

Fire them all! Every last one of them!

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:13 AM on September 30

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Not really sports news exactly, but the balcony of my new apartment has a nice view of Mazda Stadium, home of the Hiroshima Toyo Carp baseball team. Plus bullet trains whizzing by.

We can sit on the tatami with the window open and listen to the crowd roar. The Carp have been winning of late so the stadium is packed for every game. We're getting married later today. I'm sure I'll post more here about NPB as I inevitably become a fan.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:14 PM on July 30

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Canada vs USA in Denver tonight, televised.

I could only find TV listings for the lax World Cup semis and finals. I hope the Iroquois make it, because they're a team I'd really like to see.

posted by Hugh Janus at 11:10 AM on July 10

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

I like the guy peeking through his fingers and then deciding to cover his face some more. So true.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:51 AM on July 10

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

I just wonder what gold is.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:19 AM on July 10

Nate Silver Had Brazil at 65% to Win Today

Haha yes!

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:28 PM on July 09

Nate Silver Had Brazil at 65% to Win Today

I'm picturing a six-year-old in a nattily tailored suit with salt and pepper hair and a pensive expression.

He's more of a pint-sized Erwin Rommel:

mar-may 10 037

posted by Hugh Janus at 12:08 PM on July 09

Nate Silver Had Brazil at 65% to Win Today

My six-year old nephew says he saw it coming, "because without Thiago Silva they had no defense, and without Neymar they had no offense."

I told him he was pretty astute and he said, "I pay attention to Jose Mourinho."

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:19 AM on July 09

Brazil Knocks Out Colombia, But Loses Neymar

Shit, the ref stopped painting lines for almost all the Colombian free kicks in the second half, while continuing to paint them when Brazil was kicking. Was he afraid he'd run out of shaving cream?

Not to mention the yellow card he gave for James' first bad tackle, in which there was clearly no contact at all. Seemed like a strange choice against backdrop of consistent cynical and violent Brazilian back line challenges going uncarded. Of course the Colombians eventually retaliated.

And it looked to me like Julius Caesar ought to have been awarded a red card instead of a yellow.

I'm no fan of Colombia but the refereeing made that game look fixed.

posted by Hugh Janus at 12:00 PM on July 05

Brazil Knocks Out Colombia, But Loses Neymar

I don't think Brazil needed the ref's help to win, but they sure got it.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:48 PM on July 04

Germany Closes Down France in World Cup

Everyone else gets the Mesut Ozil = Peter Lorre vibe, right?

As long as you'll indulge my Toni Kroos = Dr. Mabuse trip.

posted by Hugh Janus at 03:25 PM on July 04

Michael Bradley Covered Most Ground in World Cup

Klinsmann's onto a good thing for the future of USA soccer by bringing in young Germany-based players. As they progress in their club careers and find themselves playing in Italy or England, when they get homesick for their Mutti or when their families would rather live in the place they grew up, that place will be near where they're playing and they won't be lured away from the highest level training and competition by the promise of big secure MLS contracts and the inevitable big-fish-in-a-small-pond slide to mediocrity that playing and practicing among slower, lower-skilled players has encouraged in Bradley, Dempsey, and Donovan, among others.

Now of course, Bradley looked awesome at Roma because he had an awesome group of players to deliver the ball to, and of course he now has to do a lot more running all over the park to fill the gaps that his old club side would always have kept sealed, but you can tell by his clumsy first touches and his relatively slow decision-making (relative to when he was at the top of his game in Europe) that playing in the MLS has hurt his game. He can afford to be lazy now, which he never could do in the Eternal City.

Ditto Dempsey on his return from England. The USA's two best players will never be what they once were. They took themselves out of the highest levels of competition, which would have helped their national team the most, in exchange for job security, money, and the comfort of taking it easy playing at home.

I'm not gainsaying this decision. These guys have good reasons for taking the contracts they did, even setting aside questions of comfort and family. With those thoughts in the mix, with families who may have been tired of living in Europe and with players wondering about the natural instability of playing for top teams who might exercise transfer options at any time or bench them when someone better or more expensive comes along, I'm sure these guys made good, solid, calculated personal choices.

Those choices hurt their quality of play, though, right when they were in top form. That's why Klinsi's concentration on guys who really are based in Europe, or young guys with strong ties to European club systems, makes sense to me. Our national team will improve the longer we can keep our top players in Europe, away from the MLS.

posted by Hugh Janus at 11:57 AM on July 03

U.S. Falls to Belgium Despite Epic Tim Howard Performance

Obviously not, because he's not on the team.

posted by Hugh Janus at 06:36 PM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

"Can't you see the size of these choppers? With one shrug of my shoulders I once bit fifteen bedridden children during a charitable visit to the orphanage I founded, what do you expect? I had my mouth open because I wanted to compliment Mr. Chiellini on his lovely eyelashes and dammit if my teeth didn't make trouble again. I am a victim of genetics! My father was a donkey! Anyway I'm sorry if anybody feels bitten, how about letting me play again?"

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:53 PM on June 30

Luis Suarez Banned 9 Games for Biting Opponent

An important part of punishing Suarez is to force any team he plays for to reflect on the wisdom of continuing to employ a serial biter. And to force the fans to reflect on their support for such, etc.

If having him on Liverpool hurts the team that much, then perhaps they should hire someone to replace him. There must be a way out of his contract triggered by his bringing the game into disrepute or his serving such long suspensions.

He's important to his team, but the team knew when they brought him on and when they renewed his contract that he was prone to long suspensions for abberant on-field behavior. He scores a lot of goals, though, so the calculated risk seemed worth it.

That risk played out well until now. Them's the breaks.

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:43 AM on June 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Me: "Damn, five minutes of extra time? That's generous."

[4 and a half minutes later]

Me: "Well, fuck."

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:04 PM on June 22

USPTO Cancels Redskins Trademarks

Red Tails! Tuskegee Airmen for a majority African-American city! P-51 flyby during national anthem! US Army Air Force insignia on helmets! Military appeal! Go from most racist to least racist overnight!

Everybody's opposed to thought policing. This isn't that, though.

posted by Hugh Janus at 11:56 AM on June 18

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Clint Dempsey has another goal.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:34 AM on June 18

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

1) He has existed from the morning of the world and shall exist until the last star falls from the night.
2) Although he has taken the form of Derek Jeter, he is all men as he is no man.
3) He's a god now.

posted by Hugh Janus at 05:34 PM on June 01

CNN: Steve Ballmer Reaches Deal to Buy Clippers for $2 Billion

That's the greatest thing I've ever seen, yerfatma.

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:13 AM on May 30

NBA Bans Donald Sterling for Life

Cool. I'll be on my yacht, ciao for now.

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:36 PM on April 30

NBA Bans Donald Sterling for Life

There are no slippery slope arguments.

There are only slippery slope fallacies.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:20 PM on April 30

NBA Bans Donald Sterling for Life

Okay, okay! I'll fire up the goddamn time machine already. But this is the last time, Leominster! I hope you're satisfied!

posted by Hugh Janus at 12:34 PM on April 30

NBA Bans Donald Sterling for Life

Slippery slope, indeed: there is no rational argument or demonstrable mechanism to support the idea that an inevitable follow-on effect of Sterling's ouster will be other owners with "views on stuff" forced to sell their teams after saying racist shit on record.

I may be misunderstanding you, though.

Perhaps you mean that Sterling was planning to sell the team soon anyway, so he deliberately said what he said with the knowledge that his girlfriend was recording it, knowing that Magic Johnson would hear it, so that when the league inevitably forced Sterling to sell the team, Magic would be honor-bound to enter the bidding war, driving the price up no matter who ends up buying the team, thus increasing Sterling's profit. That's some devilish shit right there, do you think the girlfriend's in on it?

Set-up of the century. I think you're onto something.

posted by Hugh Janus at 05:21 PM on April 29

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Ooooooh! Cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha!

posted by Hugh Janus at 04:54 PM on April 29

NBA Bans Donald Sterling for Life

Hey now, there are plenty of honest, hardworking anuses out there.

posted by Hugh Janus at 03:45 PM on April 29

Yankees' Pineda Ejected for Pine Tar on Neck

The strike zone?

posted by Hugh Janus at 10:51 PM on April 23

Boston Marathon Begins, One Year After Bombings

I would definitely tune in for that.

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:54 PM on April 21

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:47 PM on April 21

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Ramires' blatantly intentional elbow to Larsson's face in retaliation for what he thought should have been a penalty minutes before should see him suspended for the rest of the season.

posted by Hugh Janus at 08:47 AM on April 20

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

posted by Hugh Janus at 07:29 AM on April 15

Was Michael Pineda caught cheating

Sometimes the toilet paper just isn't wide enough.

posted by Hugh Janus at 09:42 AM on April 11

Oops: Atlanta Braves Set Fire to U.S. Flag

Though symbols often are what we ourselves make of them, the flag is constant in expressing beliefs Americans share, beliefs in law and peace and that freedom which sustains the human spirit. The case here today forces recognition of the costs to which those beliefs commit us. It is poignant but fundamental that the flag protects those who hold it in contempt.

posted by Hugh Janus at 02:01 PM on April 10

Barcelona Wins 7-Goal El Clasico Thriller

In case you were wondering:

"Ángel di María nearly fainted after his starring role in the wildest minutes of the first half. The Argentine dragged through a flu that prevented him from training last Wednesday and Thursday....

After the celebration [of Karim Benzema's first goal], his lungs said enough.

The man from Rosario lay on the field and needed medical assistance. He could not breathe through the mucus generated while suffering from the flu. He felt he was left without oxygen. In fact, he came close to fainting, but never thought to leave the team. It was crazy to return to the pitch.

However, being a hustler, Di María did return to the field...."

posted by Hugh Janus at 11:04 AM on March 25