Recent Comments by beaverboard

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

If Kyrie heads West and LeBron follows, who in the junior varsity conference will stand Tree Rollins tall against the looming Ainge leviathan?

posted by beaverboard at 04:56 PM on July 21

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Hugh Freeze and Sean Spicer couldn't have just swapped jobs?

posted by beaverboard at 03:51 PM on July 21

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Freeze Busted by Nutt Law Dog, Phone Log

posted by beaverboard at 10:57 PM on July 20

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

If he ever gets to wear the armband, calling him Captain Hamhart will be unavoidable.

posted by beaverboard at 05:40 PM on July 17

Roger Federer Wins 8th Wimbledon Championship

Buffalo, proud AFL Champions, 1964 and 1965

posted by beaverboard at 03:02 PM on July 16

Roger Federer Wins 8th Wimbledon Championship

I thought Federer was done as a Wimbledon champion, and thought Tom Brady would retire with three rings. There was a point at which I actually didn't want to see the Pats to go to any more Super Bowls so Brady wouldn't end up being 3-6 in the big game.

I'm digging these mindbending, presumption busting late career surges.

As Jack "1986" Nicklaus has long said, it all starts with putting yourself in a position to win, as he, Brady, and Federer have done so remarkably and consistently in their careers.

Being a runner up a bunch of times to me is a worthy measure of success. It means you had what it took to put yourself in that position. Hello, all the above guys, and hello Mickelson, LeBron, and the Buffalo Bills, among others.

posted by beaverboard at 12:26 PM on July 16

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

NoMich, if Dock Ellis was alive and in uniform, that tune would light him up like an emergency vehicle and he'd strike you out every time you stepped to the plate.

Hold on, I'm getting a voice from the beyond...hey, it's Dock himself. What's that, Dock?

Dock said "On two pitches".

posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on July 15

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Robust FIFA scandaleer Chuck Blazer has left this garden of earthly delights and is looking at the prospects for sizeable commissions in the afterlife.

posted by beaverboard at 10:18 PM on July 14

Peter Karmanos close to selling Hurricanes for $500 million

I was a Hartford resident for a couple of troubling years. I do better as a visitor than a resident.

But I always thought it was great to be able to walk around downtown and pass by the Civic Center and realize, hey, there's a major league hockey game going on in there, and it's not jamming up the downtown or making life temporarily annoying. The scale of the Whalers enterprise fit in with the modest surroundings. Same with the UConn basketball games that got played there.

In the early 80's, UConn basketball was not a happening thing. It was prior to the arrival of Auriemma and Calhoun. The facility could be cavernous and subdued on certain days, depending on the opponent. A good place to spend a cold, rainy late winter weekend afternoon.

posted by beaverboard at 12:12 PM on July 14

Peter Karmanos close to selling Hurricanes for $500 million

I always wonder what might have happened if the Whale had stayed put in Hartford and Bob Kraft had gone ahead with his plan to move the Patriots there in the late 1990's.

That glum and unanointed bend in the Connecticut River would have become an epicenter of New England pro sports. With the other Boston teams staying put and looking on with disapproval from afar.

posted by beaverboard at 06:55 PM on July 13

Peter Karmanos close to selling Hurricanes for $500 million

Coincidentally, the guy that wrote Brass Bonanza passed away 2 or 3 days ago.

To commemorate his passing, local stations replayed footage of the final home game in Hartford, with the guys tossing their gloves and gear to the fans in the stands after the horn went off.

That communal goodbye and sendoff was a heartfelt, bittersweet lovefest.

posted by beaverboard at 04:50 PM on July 13

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

A diehard Dolphins fan from England has delivered his own rendering of matrimony by starting out the way many couples end up, with sporting zeal triumphing over intimacy.

"You may now grill the bride"

posted by beaverboard at 05:30 PM on July 09

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Don't bother trying to get tickets to see "Hamilton".

There's a show getting ready to hit the stage about James Harden and his fat new contract with the Rockets.

It's called "Halliburton".

If the Rockets bring in Carmelo with his contract, I don't understand how they're going to be able to pay everybody.

posted by beaverboard at 08:43 PM on July 08

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

An acquaintance of mine had to rename his dogs on the spot.

They were named Hulk and Fred, and he lived near a sports-minded local churrascaria.

Suggestions were quick in coming, including rejected classics such as Kroos and Klose and Siegfried and Roy.

posted by beaverboard at 06:27 PM on July 08

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

This dispatch is from the department titled either

1) Good For a Chuckle, or

2) God Hates Howard Stern And Wants to See Him Suffer

Head shaking piece in the WaPo about the Knicks crazy dollar signing of Hardaway Jr.

One telling nugget:

New York drafted him (Hardaway) 24th overall in 2013, only to trade him to the Hawks during the 2015 draft for Jerian Grant, only to package Grant and Robin Lopez in a 2016 trade with the Bulls for Derrick Rose, only to renounce Rose's rights Thursday to create salary-cap room to sign Hardaway.

posted by beaverboard at 01:27 PM on July 07

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

There has been a lot of Ainge bashing going around lately, after he didn't do anything dramatic on draft night and missed out on Butler and George.

Then the Ainge defenders appear to clarify the record and balance the discussion out a bit. Talking points include the fleecing of other GM's, the stockpiling of valuable assets, etc.

What neither side ever mentions is Ainge's hiring of Stevens. A move so sound and inspired that it apparently doesn't require much discussion.

posted by beaverboard at 10:42 PM on July 04

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Nice parting thoughts and Utah love from Hayward at the Players' Tribune.

posted by beaverboard at 08:51 PM on July 04

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Excitable media covfefe there.

posted by beaverboard at 06:50 PM on July 04

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Random LOL moment that happened while aimlessly scrolling around:

Julian Edelman's question before posing nude for ESPN's Body Issue: "Will the room be cold?"

posted by beaverboard at 08:41 AM on July 02

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The thing about the Bonilla annuity payout deal that gets me isn't the length of term, but the negotiated interest rate of 8%.

That's a damn fine rate of return. There are lots of steady, non-aggressive investors who would be very satisfied with that annual rate of return.

posted by beaverboard at 11:57 AM on July 01

University Rochester football player kidnapped and tortured for 40 hours

I got a few paragraphs in, saw how intense it was, and had to bookmark it to return to in full when I'm prepared and have the time to give it a proper read. Very soon.

posted by beaverboard at 11:50 AM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

If so, uncanny timing, with the 50th anniversary observance of Expo 67 occurring tomorrow.

posted by beaverboard at 09:13 AM on June 30

SCOTUS will hear New Jersey sports betting case

If 5 justices or more vote against, all southbound lanes of the 11th St. Bridge, S. Capitol St. Bridge, and 14th St. Bridge in DC will suddenly be closed with no prior notice or discussion on the public record.

posted by beaverboard at 05:09 PM on June 28

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

The Knicks have canned Phil Jackson. Ding dong.

Now I can talk my NY fan friends down from their first floor window ledges.

A couple of years ago, they would have jumped from a higher floor, but they just quit caring about the team in general, so they're willing to jump 6-8 feet, but that's about it - provided the weather's nice and they can hear the Coolhaus ice cream truck coming around the corner.

Phil got a lovely parting gift from the players on his way out.

posted by beaverboard at 11:49 AM on June 28

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Congrats to New Zealand on their America's Cup win.

In lauding NZ helmsman Peter Burling, the press mentioned that he had previously won Moth class championships.

How cool, I thought. I remember the first time I saw a Moth in a boat shed when I was a kid. It was awesome, an alluring little wooden almond.

What I didn't understand was that those quaint craft of yore are what are now known as Classic Moths.

Burling had made his mark in today's Foiling Moths, which are another thing altogether. I went and looked them up. Good gracious. Video abounds. Here's one.

posted by beaverboard at 10:40 PM on June 27

Trump Runs Over the Biggest Rule of Golf Green Etiquette

He also wore a suit when he went to Camp David, which is probably worse.

If he screws up the greens at his own club, doesn't matter to me. Just accelerates the downward trending revenue stream from those properties. In the end, that will be the ultimate factor in how long he remains at the Resolute desk under Old Hickory's watchful gaze.

I'm suggesting that the President play a round of full contact golf with these guys.

(Caution: airborne implement content)

posted by beaverboard at 08:22 AM on June 27

Ice Cube Begins 3-on-3 Basketball League

Seeing as I never enjoyed watching Iverson play one-on-one basketball and force up all sorts of shit in the name of carrying the team when he was part of a five man NBA unit, I sure as hell don't want to watch him play 3v3 ball.

Hope he's getting paid, though.

posted by beaverboard at 08:55 PM on June 25

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

I can't believe the Nets took on the Mosgov contract.

Who owns that team anyway?

And here I thought the hot shot Russian money laundry was across the river and up 5th Avenue.

posted by beaverboard at 10:03 PM on June 20

Celtics Trade No. 1 Pick to 76ers

It's the Lonzo Ball "Chuck Connors as...The Rifleman!" mechanics I wonder about. That launch process starts from his erogenous zone. Muggsy Bogues could defend him on the perimeter.

"Lonzo got the shot off, even with a hand up in his sternum..."

posted by beaverboard at 07:40 AM on June 20

Soccer Rules Body Considers Timed 30-Minute Halves

I've ranted about this at length in the past. I don't like the running clock but I could live with it IF there is some sort of better administration of the timekeeping.

I don't want the whole thing to come down to the ref looking at his watch as he's running along and trying to keep the cute little spray bottle of line marking foam on his Batman utility belt from crawling up his ass as he runs and then blowing the whistle at his discretion which often doesn't coincide with the announcer's time accounting, or the display on the TV screen.

I can hear Ian Darke now: "well, that should be almost it, any second now, just waiting for the final whistle and this stunning result will send shock waves...the full 5 minutes of stoppage time has elapsed, neither side making a concerted effort to mount an attack now...surely there must can't be much more time left at this point...the referee letting play continue a bit longer...and... there it is, the final whistle, and this one is over, the people in the stadium in disbelief at this unexpected outcome..."

EVERYBODY in the goddamned stadium and EVERYBODY watching on television should ALL know EXACTLY how much time has elapsed and how much precisely remains, not possibly remains, and this should be accounted for with a scoreboard clock display that everyone can see. Not a couple of dudes in Adidas warmup suits on the sidelines holding up light up lap boards with the stoppage time allotment. This is not a frigging Bingo game at the Elks lodge.

We should know how much stoppage time is going to be allowed before it is awarded because there should be a diligent accounting of it during the running course of play. Not "well that guy flopped and cried for his mama for maybe two minutes and that other guy had his leg amputated and then magically reattached with aerosols and that took maybe three minutes, so OK guys, put up 5 minutes, that's probably good enough".

Americans are too accustomed to sweating out each precious well accounted for second of football, basketball, and hockey games to accept the idiotic, daisy picking way in which time is kept in international football.

So if they're going to stay with a running clock, all I ask is that they be baseline fucking competent and professional about how they administer it. I've seen too many refs allow one last corner kick to be set up when everyone knows damn well that the allotted stoppage time has already elapsed. And once the kick is in the air, the whistle won't blow until the ball is either out of bounds, in the net, or in the possession of the defending side.

If precisely measured time expires before the corner kick is struck, zeroes appear on the stadium clock, the horn sounds, the game is over. Sorry guys, you didn't get the kick off in time. You want to fix that problem, go watch the final play of the UNC-Villanova national championship basketball game.

posted by beaverboard at 04:21 PM on June 19

Celtics Trade No. 1 Pick to 76ers

I want to see the Sixers become relevant again. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the classic years of the Boston-Philly rivalry in the early 80's, when they were taking turns driving stakes into each other's hearts.

Celtics-Sixers back then was about much more than basketball. It had cinematic and cultural overtones. Boston columnists Ryan and Shaughnessy made it into a morality play and never missed an opportunity to spew venom about the Philly evil empire. Reading those guys, you'd think that righteous Boston didn't have a few rusty bridges of its own.

Boston fans hated Dawkins, decided Andrew Toney was deadly the first minute he arrived in Philly, and howled at Billy Cunningham (the Christopher Walken of pro coaching).

People treated the subsequent arrival of Barkley in Philadelphia as a big deal, but a lot of the heavy Boston-Phila drama of the period had already happened by then. He was a continuation of it. We'll probably never see the likes of that type of rivalry again, but I still want the Sixers to be a dangerous, worthy team in the conference.

posted by beaverboard at 10:01 AM on June 19

Celtics Trade No. 1 Pick to 76ers

Ainge didn't have to take on a warm body or any salary in trade, which is good.

This is a nice move for Philly, but it's not quite enough to make me forget the stupidity of trading Nerlens Noel.

The Kings could be sad sacks for the foreseeable future, so the C's getting the 2019 pick is OK if the 2018 pick doesn't pan out.

I still want Lonzo to go somewhere un-thought of and un-cared about, like Orlando.

posted by beaverboard at 12:48 PM on June 18

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Where hath gone Ertz and Wentz, so shall goeth Fultz.

posted by beaverboard at 10:29 AM on June 18

Cristiano Ronaldo 'wants to leave' Real Madrid after being accused of tax fraud

Is there a version of Kickstarter for football players who are found to be tax evaders and need to make restitution and pay massive fines? What fan wouldn't want to chip in?

In the case of players like Ronaldo, Messi, and Rooney, maybe they could name the funding campaign "SetPiece".

posted by beaverboard at 12:07 PM on June 16

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Glad to see that the US Open tournament is underway. The Masters seems like it was played months ago.

It takes me a lot longer to find and bookmark a suitable online leaderboard than it used to. There are a lot of visually displeasing leaderboard pages out there. Some are accompanied by screaming auto-load video. A clear violation of Buick Nation principles.

Have any SpoFites been recruited by the Church Lady to watch film of each player on a hole by hole basis to spot possible infractions so they can be called in to the rules committee two days later?

posted by beaverboard at 04:39 PM on June 15

SportsFilter NHL Playoff Pick 'Em Champion: rcade

I'm thinking of Whitey and the winning lottery ticket he cashed in on that was issued at his very own convenience store in Southie.

posted by beaverboard at 01:58 PM on June 12

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

I couldn't believe that the NBA had THREE DAYS in between games.

They needed the extra time to send the Game 4 officiating crew to state-sponsored "rehabilitation" at an undisclosed location.

Tonight's Game 5 does not feel like a 3 games to 1 Game 5. It doesn't even feel like a 2-2 Game 5. It feels like the Warriors have to take this game or else -- the shit will strike again.

With this many notables taking part in the Finals, it almost seems like All-Star week. There should be an undercard of skills competitions. My vote would be for a Dumb Foul Contest between Draymond and JR Smith.

I want to see if the Cavs show up in their ugly sleeved dark unis that they wore in Game 2 and also wore in Games 6 and 7 last year. They clearly feel that those sets now have vital mojo. I don't blame JR for going shirtless in the victory parade after having to wear one of those things.

posted by beaverboard at 01:54 PM on June 12

SportsFilter NHL Playoff Pick 'Em Champion: rcade

Congrats, rcade.

I'll have to consult with Howard and yerfatma, but in a case like this where the house wins at its own game, if the low end of the standings is called the Costanza, shouldn't the top end be called the Bulger?

posted by beaverboard at 07:59 AM on June 12

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Glad to see that the Cavs are cranking and not folding as other teams have in the past (2004 Lakers being a juicy example).

But maybe let the teams play and not have the refs try to tilt things by fouling out the entire Warriors squad. Cleveland may not need the help.

posted by beaverboard at 10:00 PM on June 09

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

From the You Can't Make This Stuff Up Department:

It has been reported that the ace of the Oregon State baseball team pitching staff has a troubling criminal record.

The main man on the mound for the Beavers is a registered sex offender.

And of course, his last name is - you guessed it - Heimlich.*

*(They used to call it the Hug. Now it's called the Maneuver).

However, OSU is so talented overall that nobody is expecting the team to choke if Heimlich is taken off the roster prior to this month's College World Series.

posted by beaverboard at 08:34 AM on June 09

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

If the NHL had known that the 2017 Stanley Cup would be this bipolar, they would have told Pittsburgh not to tear down the Igloo.

posted by beaverboard at 10:32 PM on June 08

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Two courier parcels from anxious TV executives dreading a revenue shortfall arrived at Quicken Loans Arena today.

A Kevlar cup for Kyrie and a pair of reinforced martial arts high tops for Draymond.

posted by beaverboard at 05:55 PM on June 08

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

I didn't know that. Living with the shame of ignorance. Now I have rouge on my face (or so it appears)*

*Better to have it on my face than my neck.

posted by beaverboard at 01:05 PM on June 07

Girl's Soccer Team Banned from Tournament

It's a U-11 team. So at age eight, she's been age waivered up at least one age group due to ability and playing with older, bigger girls. (And there's a significant difference in speed, physicality, tactics, and field size). Able to handle that but can't overcome the idiots.

posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on June 06

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Oy, a turf race. Becoming a rarity in the US.

That race is apparently in NSW, are those nags running in the wrong direction?

Shortly, we'll be hearing from the toilet and sink police who think that's the way things happen in the Southern Hemisphere.

posted by beaverboard at 03:01 PM on June 06

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

If I had been tasked with firing Schilling, it would have been my honor and privilege to catch hell for doing so.

posted by beaverboard at 02:54 PM on June 05

Rock Climber Scales El Capitan with No Gear

Honnold fulfilled both ends of motivational coach Matt Foley's classic words of wisdom on Saturday Night Live:

You kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that... you're gonna end up living in a van down by the river!

posted by beaverboard at 11:55 PM on June 04

The 35th America's Cup

Wait till Larry Ellison gets involved with horse racing. He'll have a Pegasus and the Kentucky farms will look like they're breeding Belgians and Percherons.

posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on June 03

1860 Munich suffer double relegation to amateur leagues after owner refuses to pay license fee

"Dumpster fire" is English for Dumpsterfeuer. I need to buy an umlaut for the first "u".

posted by beaverboard at 12:44 PM on June 03

NBA Playoff Pick 'Em: The Finals

In Cleveland, they are referring to Howard's prediction as "negative press cofive".

posted by beaverboard at 01:55 PM on June 01

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Mandate changing the pronunciation of St. Louis back to the French original, and declare it a proxy city of Quebec. Place a CFL team there, (The Explorers?) which would play its games at the renamed North American Center Dome.

If the team was good, they could hold their training sessions in Florissant. If they were bad, they could train in Creve Coeur.

Don't think a CFL team would get too much competition for regional attention from the Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, or Illinois college teams. Maybe from the KC Chiefs or the Bengals. Definitely not from the Chi Bears.

posted by beaverboard at 08:02 AM on May 31

Legendary Sportswriter Frank Deford Dies

He always looked like he had already had a fabulous film noir career before he got interested in sports.

Toward the end of his career, he grew to admire the sound of his own voice a bit too much in audio segments. The flourishes and the pauses, where he would let us bask in the splendor of his dulcet tone and incisive authority...it became a bit overdone. But no matter, the whole of his work far outshines those sorts of late chapter concerns.

posted by beaverboard at 04:15 PM on May 30

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

I worry that the CFL really ought to add a 10th team to balance out the schedule. A nine team league makes me uncomfortable. Could Quebec City support a team?

Don't know if anyone noticed that Montreal released Bear Woods on the same day that Tiger Woods got booked in on a DUI. Just a bad day all around for forest creatures.

posted by beaverboard at 09:38 PM on May 29

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

If the Preds lose, the league won't have to donate their pre-printed championship shirts and caps to kids in Uganda.

Anything with the Predators logo on it will be eagerly snapped up by Luis Suarez fans around the world.

posted by beaverboard at 10:33 AM on May 26

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Can't imagine why the league and the TV people would want the Penguins in the finals instead of the Senators.

posted by beaverboard at 08:24 AM on May 25

Left-for-Dead Celtics Beat Cavaliers in Game 3

Wasn't able to watch last night's NBA game, but I was able to follow the score. The Celtics being down by 17 in the first half wasn't too bad, I told myself. I figured - the guys won't let this get as horrific as the other night.

Then I check back in and they're down by less than 10 going into the fourth. Got the involuntary tightening in my gut. (Almost any amount of gut tightening is welcome these days, regardless of cause).

This may not be an accurate parallel, but when I saw the final score, the first thing I thought of was Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. After getting whomped by the Yankees 19-8 in Game 3 and with the inevitable doom of a four game sweep hanging overhead, the Red Sox tie Game 4 in the bottom of the ninth and win in extra innings.

I'm not expecting the Celtics to eventually prevail against all odds as the 2004 Red Sox did, but last night's win was a remarkable achievement. JR Smith only shot 3's and hit 50% of them. If he does that on a night when LeBron is having anywhere near his regular numbers, you'd have a different outcome.

But that terrific Boston bench scoring differential...I don't know...maybe there's a chance.

In pondering his upcoming roster moves, Ainge must be waking up every morning with a different thought in his head these days.

posted by beaverboard at 08:33 AM on May 22

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Even juicier wishful thinking than the thought of Lonzo Ball going to the Lakers to continue the destabilization process in Buss country:

Ainge casually mentions that he's going to take Lonzo with the top pick and swap him to Philly. Just to see if the father's head explodes.

posted by beaverboard at 07:48 AM on May 18

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

When we get to Game 1 of the NBA finals, someone is going to have to take a loss.

posted by beaverboard at 07:09 AM on May 18

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Speaking of getting old in a hurry, Danny Ainge is just a fake pair of wire rim glasses away from being Mitch McConnell's stunt double.

posted by beaverboard at 11:12 AM on May 17

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

My post was a generational overreach. I grew up with the Hardy Boys books in the olden days. Never saw the TV show, movie, or rasslers.

Frank and Joe would be on a case and needed to ditch their school clothes. They changed into their sleuthing trail gear, with checkered shirts, ball caps and bomber jackets. When I saw the post game Curry and Durant presser, all I could think of was the outfitting of young detectives 50 years ago.

Styles come around in cycles. When I watched "The Decision" a few years ago, I wondered who had resurrected the nicest shirt ever worn on Hee Haw and loaned it to LeBron.

posted by beaverboard at 12:48 PM on May 16