Recent Comments by beaverboard

Richard Sherman uses cardboard cutout to send NFL a message

Back in the day, you had to do sets of shrugs and flexes if you wanted your neck to be able to support both your head AND a set of Koss Pro 4AA phones.

No reason why a pair of those things couldn't keep a skiff firmly moored in a sheltered harbor.

posted by beaverboard at 12:26 AM on November 27

Richard Sherman uses cardboard cutout to send NFL a message

Ken would never be seen wearing Beats. But Barbie would. Ill advised bass happy cans. The cranial equivalent of putting a pair of subs in a Datsun B-210 that's still running on its original shocks.

posted by beaverboard at 10:13 PM on November 26

Richard Sherman uses cardboard cutout to send NFL a message

Sherman and his guys better get back in their meetings and get some game plan on. If they were in the AFC North, they'd be just another 7-4 team.

Sherman and Baldwin didn't leave any room for questions. I'd ask them how did Houdini clear waivers and make the Rams punt return unit.

posted by beaverboard at 02:15 PM on November 26

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Bates Motel photo shoot featuring Brian Wilson is close to wrapping.

posted by beaverboard at 01:46 PM on November 25

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Looking at that gif over and over is rather trance-inducing. It's like watching tropical fish.

posted by beaverboard at 10:41 PM on November 23

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Yug! goddam am a maddog guy.

Llamar: Uno - Ocho Cero Cero - Palindromo ahora.

posted by beaverboard at 06:10 PM on November 22

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

When I realized that I had no hope of ever being commissioned a Kentucky Colonel, I began to pin my hopes on landing an honorary appointment to the Boone's Farm Apple Corps.

First began drinking the stuff as an underage high school kid and thought it was a syrup-titious local potion. I had no idea it was made in giant vats on an industrial basis and was widely available. I assumed they were making it in the barn on the sly because I was drinking it in my darkened room on the sly. When I saw the first national ad campaign for the stuff I had stashed under my bed, I felt like my cover was blown. It was terribly unsettling. I wanted to visit the kindly Boone family at their bucolic farm to lament the loss of our little secret.

posted by beaverboard at 09:51 PM on November 21

Lisa Saxon, the woman who helped change sports writing forever.

I loved the late 60's and early 70's Oakland A's as a schoolboy, and was sad when the team began to be disassembled.

But in hindsight, the fact that someone of Reggie Jackson's character ended up playing for two owners like Finley and Steinbrenner is firm proof that there is a God.

posted by beaverboard at 12:32 PM on November 21

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

That is hysterical. Holy Mary and Sweet Saint Joseph.

posted by beaverboard at 09:20 AM on November 21

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

2008 Lions uncorked the champagne at the conclusion of the Raiders-Chiefs game last night.

posted by beaverboard at 07:53 AM on November 21

CFL Playoff Pick 'Em, Finals Edition

The NFL is scrambling to move this weekend's Jets-Bills game due to the snow. They're looking at various stadiums as options, all in the US. Nothing about Canada. Maybe they're missing an opportunity there, even though the CFL playoffs are in progress.

Would it kill revenues for the upcoming Hamilton game if the Bills game went to Toronto either side of Sunday?

posted by beaverboard at 09:35 PM on November 20

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Bravo Ontario.

Christina Aguilera...Roseanne Barr...Josh Groban...Carl Lewis...Steven Tyler...

Your voices just took one hell of a beating.

(Apologies to Lillelien)

posted by beaverboard at 12:20 PM on November 20

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Looked to me like an interception. He jumped the route. Footage of that takeaway is being sent to all NFC South secondaries to be used in meetings as a motivational tool. Cue the "U Can't Touch This" soundtrack.

posted by beaverboard at 08:00 PM on November 18

Penny-pinching, no more!

Kevin Bacon, fuggetaboudit. SpoFi rules. Loria to Holmes in just six posts.

posted by beaverboard at 09:41 AM on November 18

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Speaking of photos, one can only hope that Brent Musburger doesn't see any stills or video of Charles Manson's 26 year old bride-to-be. He might feel compelled to transfer his flag from Miss Alabama.

posted by beaverboard at 09:29 AM on November 18

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

If "L'avion" is French for airplane, I guess that La'Veon is Yinzer for 18 wheeler.

Wish I cold have gone to Primanti Bros. last night to see if they were running a Roesthlisberger-Mettenberger special. Lord knows how unmanageable that sandwich would be.

posted by beaverboard at 07:15 AM on November 18

Penny-pinching, no more!

Dang, Howard has done won the literary reference wars this rainy evening.

Encountering Coleridge was where I found out that the word "soporific" had nothing to do with hygeine.

posted by beaverboard at 08:54 PM on November 17

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I thought they overworked Gray. Save him up a bit for the road ahead. I was surprised he, Brady and Gronk were still in there after the outcome had been decided. Wouldn't have wanted to miss seeing Gronk score that runaway freight TD, though.

posted by beaverboard at 01:15 AM on November 17

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

That's remarkable, and he's wreaking the havoc in one of "defensive wizard" Pelini's last games as Huskers' coach.

posted by beaverboard at 06:47 PM on November 15

FIFA Goal of the Year nominees

I think the Miami NFL team should remove the dolphin from their helmet and put the mid-flight van Persie on it instead.

posted by beaverboard at 11:11 AM on November 14

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Complimentary SpoFi test kit and sarc meter has shipped and is on its way.

As always, recalibration services are available 24/7 at the Rogers Center help desk.

Online chat with an associate now?

(x) No Thanks

posted by beaverboard at 01:32 PM on November 13

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

At this point, Bears fans at Fatman's in Gurnee must have voided the warranties of all the televisions on the premises.

posted by beaverboard at 10:20 PM on November 09

The End of Daisy Buchanan's

Well, almost anything. If you want to see Anne Hathaway in a space suit (which is a really fucked up concept), you have to go to a movie theater. Thank god.

posted by beaverboard at 06:03 PM on November 07

NFL Pick 'Em, Week 10

Based on what happened tonight, it might have been Nero.

posted by beaverboard at 12:10 AM on November 07

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Special Agent Frank Horrigan can't come out of retirement and do something about the ownership of that Washington franchise?

posted by beaverboard at 03:19 PM on November 03

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Memo to Patriots: wear the white unis at home today and make the Broncos wear their orange.

posted by beaverboard at 08:34 AM on November 02

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Read that yesterday and immediately began reassessing my principles and priorities.

All the years guys like Iverson and Derrick Coleman were in Philly, wish they would have let Hopkins feel their ribs and give them some of his sage advice.

Go Bernard this Saturday against a daunting foe.

posted by beaverboard at 08:30 AM on November 02

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Vols QB Dobbs style of play bears a startling resemblance to the collegiate Vince Young.

posted by beaverboard at 02:08 AM on November 02

Bucks Player Almost Shoots in Wrong Basket

Expecting an Urkel-esque "Whoops Did I do That?" meme on this sometime soon.

posted by beaverboard at 11:16 AM on November 01

Giants Win World Series

If only Erin had asked Rikkk for his phone number -- then they would have had to call in the cardio squad and hustle him out of there horizontally.

No umlauts? It's still Oktoberfest for one more day. Bitte fixen sie, Herr Kaleu.

posted by beaverboard at 02:58 PM on October 30

Giants Win World Series

Bonds looks good. Things seem right. His head is smaller now - back down to Pirate size.

I watched with the sound off, so I don't know whether the talking heads gave the Bochy-Righetti combo some of the same kind of love that they used to lavish on Cox-Mazzone and LaRussa-Duncan. Hopefully so.

posted by beaverboard at 10:57 AM on October 30

Giants Win World Series

Postseason memories I can tell to my grandkids from my porch rocker:

I saw Gibson in '67, Lolich in '68, Hershiser in '88, Johnson in '01, Bumgarner in '14...

posted by beaverboard at 08:03 AM on October 30

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

That is a classic clip.

One of my favorite all time quotes comes from a James Joyce fishing trip of legend with a few close friends. Can't remember who all the others were (notable wits and intellects), but they were in or beside a stream when one of them caught a fish, took it off the hook, dropped it in his creel and proclaimed:

"Woman's plaice is in the holm".

posted by beaverboard at 12:28 PM on October 29

Denver Broncos Fan Disappears During Game

That burger looks both frightening and alluring. Reminds me of the lava flow currently coming down from Kilauea to consume anything in its path.

Hunter Pence would totally enjoy that menu item because...he supposedly eats pizza with a knife and fork.

posted by beaverboard at 12:18 PM on October 29

Denver Broncos Fan Disappears During Game

Pueblo, eh? That makes sense. A no credit card, no cell phone kind of guy, he was probably on his way to join the Amish in the San Luis Valley.

posted by beaverboard at 10:31 AM on October 29

Denver Broncos Fan Disappears During Game

Bakke said that from the time they arrived to the stadium at 4:30 p.m. until Kitterman's disappearance, the 53-year-old man had consumed only a few beers.

posted by beaverboard at 04:04 PM on October 28

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

The Crimson Tide Foundation said they wanted to "keep Saban happy".

That's like South Carolina wanting to keep Spurrier thoughtful and sincere.

posted by beaverboard at 01:17 PM on October 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

As of 2:40 pm ET today, Wikipedia's Brady Hoke entry begins as follows:

Brady Patrick Hoke (born November 3, 1958) is the former head football coach of the Michigan Wolverines football team, where he has served until the eight game of the 2014 season.

No mention of this anywhere else that I've seen. Looks like another temporary WP hoax, this one self-fulfilling perhaps.

posted by beaverboard at 02:43 PM on October 26

PGA Exec Calls Ian Poulter 'Little School Girl'

The PGA has removed Bishop from office. (He only had a month left to go in his term, so perhaps he felt as though he could cut loose a bit.)

SERVPRO is proud to be the Official Cleanup and Restoration Company of the PGA TOUR.

Hopefully, someone in a dark blazer at PGA HQ has their 800 number.

posted by beaverboard at 08:39 PM on October 24

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Proud to say that I don't know who many of the characters in that uberfan rogues gallery are.

But Mallory Edens is only a prosthetic Adam's apple and some raccoon warpaint away from being able to go trick or treating as Ann Coulter.

posted by beaverboard at 10:35 AM on October 23

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Between yesterday's Tigers game and today's Rams game, Missouri is currently the special teams capital of the US.

posted by beaverboard at 04:05 PM on October 19

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

I watched the end of the Muschamp era in brief snippets. Every time I checked on the game, the Mizzou defense or special teams had just scored again.

posted by beaverboard at 10:51 PM on October 18

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Ryan is a very fortunate man. I get offered extensions every day via email, but at least there's a reasonable explanation for why I'm receiving those offers.

posted by beaverboard at 02:02 PM on October 18

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

I always liked how Sparky Anderson handled his Reds bullpen in the mid-70s. Without a staff of dominating starters who threw a ton of innings, he went to his pen whenever and in all types of situations.

His relievers didn't rack up a massive amount of saves, but they were involved in a significant number of decisions, and posted a noteworthy number of wins, with the top guy having a W-L record equivalent to the number 4 or 5 starter (and with a lower ERA to boot). Being able to field an insane everyday lineup of Bench, Perez, Rose, Foster etc. created a lot of latter inning plate production, which made it all possible.

But some of those Cincy pitchers could hit pretty good too...

posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on October 17

Was Belichick to New England the Best Deal in NFL History?

Great reading - even though the SI site is woefully restless and volatile at times. (It's like trying to read a comic book that has ADHD.)

I always thought that it was Belichick's Cleveland experience that turned him into the lovable, carefree person he is today. Good to learn that he was the Sheriff of Taciturn County from the get go. (Which doesn't make Modell any less of a schmuck).

And as for Weis...you think you know everything about him that you need to know, and then you learn more, and it all just adds to the legend.

posted by beaverboard at 08:29 AM on October 17

Royals Advance to First World Series Since 1985

The only part missing from the script is that they won't be facing the Pirates in the Series. That would have been the ultimate "return from eternal irrelevance" matchup.

I similarly yearn for a Browns - Lions Super Bowl.

I watched every minute of the 1985 Series. I can still hear Al Michaels announcing Balboni and Biancalana with a tone of incredulity in his voice as they stepped up to the plate, BEFORE they defied the law of averages and prevailing wisdom with yet another timely and productive at bat.

Felt very happy for Dick Howser after how he had been treated by Steinbrenner, and felt awful for Herzog having to watch his team fall apart in game 7.

With the memories so vivid, it's sometimes hard to remember how long ago that Series took place. Three days after it ended, the space shuttle Challenger took off on a mission...and returned safely to Earth (for the last time).

posted by beaverboard at 10:23 AM on October 16

"How Rebounds Work"

Is there a system for tracking Dennis Rodman's off-court spatial relationships and rebound locations?

posted by beaverboard at 04:23 PM on October 15

Drone with Flag Sparks Brawl at Euro 2016 Match

This is the Balkan version of Iko Iko. Despite the fact that the Serbs being pissed off predates the founding of New Orleans by around 325 years.

posted by beaverboard at 11:59 PM on October 14

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

When indoor ice rinks first came to South Florida in the late 60's/early 70's, the kids discovered that after a resurfacing, the Zamboni drove out into the parking lot to dump its load on the tarmac. The hellacious ice ball fights that ensued became the main event for many people. It was the first time some folks had seen frozen water other than at a saloon. You had to fight fast, because the pile went down in a hurry.

People eventually lost interest in the rink itself because you could slip and fall down unless you knew what you were doing. That ice surface was harder than people thought it would be.

Nothing like watching people try to get up a head of steam on skates knowing they were going to go down, so they could go into a full body glide before slamming into the boards. Tropical luge. Not always feet first. (The money for the MacArthur grants comes from Florida. But the recipients generally don't.)

But oh my, it was so nice and cool in there compared to the wall of steam outside.

Attendance at the general public skate sessions was about equal to what the Panthers game looked like it pulled in.

posted by beaverboard at 03:06 PM on October 14

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

After watching him get carried into the end zone like a rodeo clown, I'd love to ask Richard Sherman whether or not he thinks DeMarco Murray matters in this league.

Except that I think the line for that forms behind Skip Bayless.

posted by beaverboard at 10:45 AM on October 13

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

If there is any local, regional or college radio audio feed of the fourth quarter of the TCU - Baylor game available, I want to listen to it. Bingo, bango, bongo.

posted by beaverboard at 10:34 AM on October 12

Florida QB Treon Harris Investigated in Alleged Sex Assault

I can picture someone in Tallahassee saying "Their guy goes out and does whatever our guy gets up on a table and tells him to do".

posted by beaverboard at 09:42 AM on October 07

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Cowboys are halfway to eight wins after just five games. They might be going places. My head's starting to spin a little.

posted by beaverboard at 04:58 PM on October 05

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

On a historic results basis, today would be a good day to count to two Mississippi.

posted by beaverboard at 07:57 PM on October 04

Why no one wants to host the 2022 Olympics

If Lyle Alzado were alive, he'd tell you that Cossack Stan is a guy who tends bar at a joint near the airport in Cleveland. His English is pretty good. He splits weekends with a guy named Al Kaider.

posted by beaverboard at 01:01 PM on October 03

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

From a special USA Today dispatch:

"Madison Bumgarner was dominate on the mound and tossed a shutout. He struck out 10 batters on 109 pitches".

A virtual newsroom teaming with prominate writers.

Maybe this doesn't resonant with most people. I'm content to be the lone dissonate voice. Even though I could be driven from my home and career and forced to become a mendicate. Maybe get arrested for indigent exposure.

posted by beaverboard at 04:23 AM on October 02

Brady Hoke's Dangerous Incompetence So Bad ESPN Announcers Denounce It

Looks like there was a bit of a rally at UM about this.

posted by beaverboard at 11:15 PM on September 30

Brady Hoke's Dangerous Incompetence So Bad ESPN Announcers Denounce It

The NFL must be working hard to keep UM from hiring John Harbaugh.

1) As long as he stays with the Ravens, he can't come out and tell his side of the Rice story in its entirety. Which would likely not make the team or the league look good.

2) The league hungers for compelling themes to coin revenue from. If they lose one of the Harbaughs and Peyton retires, the NFL will be toast in the brotherly love cash cow department. Somehow, Rob and Rex Ryan just don't pull the same numbers (or heart strings) on the Hallmark scale.

(If UM fires Brandon and then Hoke, hopefully the biology professor at the top won't notice that Charlie Weis is now available).

posted by beaverboard at 09:52 AM on September 30

Brady Hoke's Dangerous Incompetence So Bad ESPN Announcers Denounce It

Pretty darn well delineated Peter principle threshold on Hoke's career track. He did pretty well at his previous stops. He can probably use metrics to figure out where he should go next without exceeding his competency quotient after he gets canned at UM. Aim only as high as is reasonably appropriate. He's gonna get hired somewhere. He doesn't necessarily have to settle for a UTEP level gig.

UM must be writhing a bit. Premature to write them off as a relevant major program, and they've seen other schools crawl back from the precipice with solid hires, such as Bama and OSU. They need to nail the next HC decision. They can't lose to Columbus indefinitely. Lloyd Carr will end up trading swag for tats.

posted by beaverboard at 09:20 PM on September 29

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Thinking of the possible captioning for that photo, hard to know whether to go with the Reddick or the South Effingham angle.

posted by beaverboard at 05:11 PM on September 29