Recent Comments by beaverboard

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Them Jags. Scourges of Vegas.

Titan trifles at home one week, werewolves in London the next.

posted by beaverboard at 11:26 AM on September 24

NFL Pick 'Em Week 3: Rushing Leader Kareem Hunt Edition

No mention of Kareem Hunt possible without credit being given to the New England run defense for setting the tone for his current stampede.

posted by beaverboard at 05:03 PM on September 21

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Duke and Dallas Mavericks fans, if you get Cherokee Parks some shoes, I guarantee you he'll catch that Hamburglar.

posted by beaverboard at 04:25 PM on September 20

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

My hope was that since so many Celtics numbers have been retired, Kyrie would be faced with taking a number that didn't represent the reality-based magical person he knew he was in the process of becoming and he'd go back to Cleveland.

posted by beaverboard at 04:49 PM on September 19

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Brad Stevens has his work cut out for him.

posted by beaverboard at 08:37 AM on September 19

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

I wish I could attribute AFC East awfulness to strategic aspirations of tankage rather than the caliber of team ownership and the aptitude of the front offices, but alas I cannot.

Leave it to New England to rig the entire league so that they are consistently faced with weak divisional opposition year in and year out.

If Goodell came forward with a proposal for relegation, I think I'd support it.

posted by beaverboard at 06:16 PM on September 18

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Tonight would be a good time for North Korea to launch an intercontinental salvo.

Lions vs. Giants. Millions asleep in their recliners, lulled to a stupor by Eli in somniferum delicto.

posted by beaverboard at 04:43 PM on September 18

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Jets and Raiders are playing later today.

It appears that TV channels have learned their lessons from past programming debacles.

During the game, instead of airing the movie "Heidi", the Lifetime channel will be airing "Secrets of My Stepdaughter" and "Stalker's Prey".

posted by beaverboard at 02:26 PM on September 17

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The Vols won't want to watch film of the last play. They looked like they were playing for OT instead of defending the bomb, rushing 4 and keeping a backer up to spy the QB. Coverage downfield got stretched accordingly. When the Fla. QB stopped to load up his throw, that should have given safety help adequate time to react. The play looked more like a gutsy, well executed long ball than a Hail Mary.

I can almost imagine McElwain telling the press: "Yeah, we work on Flutie 2 Phelan X Deep Fly every Wednesday in practice".

posted by beaverboard at 11:17 PM on September 16

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The Cleveland Indians' historic win streak began the day before a Dollar Dog Night game against the Royals and ended with a Dollar Dog Night game against the Royals.

They played two separate series against both the Royals and Tigers during the course of the streak.

North Korea launched five missiles during that time period, two of them going over Japan.

Harvey became a hurricane the day the streak began and Irma had come and gone before it ended.

By the time Cleveland was finally defeated, both Conor McGregor and the Cassini space probe had succumbed to forces greater than themselves inside the ring(s).

posted by beaverboard at 02:23 PM on September 16

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

I want to like the Bengals, but...

I think Hue Jackson's current team might do better than his old team this year.

I think I'm all but done watching Andy Dalton and waiting for a dynamic outcome to happen.

Except that Jadeveon is never going to hear the end of "tell me how that ginger snap got in front of you and kept you from scoring".

Cincy should never have allowed the Texans to come into their facility wearing those badass all dark unis. Choose yer home colors at home, fellas. Wearing all white is a bygone Cleveland @ Municipal Stadium thing. Color rush or no color rush.

That game ended exactly the way it should have. Let's quit this dicking around. Whoomp. Arrr!

posted by beaverboard at 12:49 PM on September 15

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Does Jon Gruden's FFCA have a chapter for "really bad CFL idea" coaches? There'd be Hawkins and Briles for starters.

posted by beaverboard at 04:32 PM on September 13

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Currently checking the size of Dan Hawkins' buyout at UC Davis.

There must be a buyout. It's not intramurals.

posted by beaverboard at 04:29 PM on September 13

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

I'm trying to monitor conditions in various parts of Fla. and the northeast corner has been getting substantial flooding. No part of the state untouched due to the vast size of Hurricane Irma, and...she's a slow moving bitch. Tough combination. Should have named her Albert Haynesworth.

Hopefully, rcade & co. are OK.

posted by beaverboard at 01:44 PM on September 11

Enter SportsFilter's NFL Pick 'Em Contest

Oh dear - thar goes the legal profession

Who'll be left to save us?

posted by beaverboard at 05:41 PM on September 08

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

I don't want to wish the storm on anyone else, but the latest tracking models are not good from my standpoint. I'm trying to get an elder in a SE Florida ALF evacuated to hospice. Her facility is 3 blocks west of the Intracoastal and the staff and residents say they are staying put.

I have gone to Fla. in the past to help people before, during, and after storms. I was on the last flight in before Katrina hit in 2005 (it crossed south Florida as a benign Cat 1 before becoming historic out in the Gulf).

I have actually scheduled family members for inpatient surgery during storms on several occasions because the hospital is THE place to be during a hurricane. Built to withstand, and they have the best backup generators in the county. You're gonna have A/C no matter what. Books, magazines, crossword puzzles, 3 meals a day, weights, bikes, and whirlpool baths in the PT department, unlimited ice and mixers, supply closets full of drugs, bored nurses locked inside the building working 12 hour shifts, why would you go anywhere else?

This storm is stronger than any other storm I've ever been through. I was not there for Andrew, Charley, or Wilma. Some of the high rise condo towers built along the Intracoastal and A1A during the 1970's were only wind loaded for 120 mph. Construction was shoddy in some cases. I don't know what will happen if this thing comes through heading south to north with sustained winds over 150.

posted by beaverboard at 09:39 PM on September 06

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

As a former Floridian trying to help friends and family get ready for Hurricane Irma, I'm following the storm very closely. Hoping it misses SpoFites wherever they may be.

The Greater and Lesser Antilles are already deep into their storm prep drill.

As a son of the sod, I always wondered what the long term effects of Puerto Rico's attempt to expel its Irish community in the 18th century might be. I just came across stark evidence of the consequences. When it comes to procuring emergency storm supplies, everyone has their own priorities.

posted by beaverboard at 01:38 PM on September 05

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Even though the college football bowl season is a long way off, I thought that Liberty's game against Baylor yesterday should have had a name. There are many possibilities.

posted by beaverboard at 07:33 AM on September 03

Justin Verlander Traded to Houston Astros

Detroit should forego the salary arrangement and give him a housing allowance.

He'll probably be commuting to work from Amarillo.

posted by beaverboard at 03:21 PM on September 01

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Even at 135 mil, it seems a little light. I think the Lions could have asked the Celtics to toss in a future second rounder as a cherry topper. When you're already getting too much, it never hurts to ask for more.

I would say that the Lions are more justified in overpaying Stafford than Scott Mitchell, but that's about as far as I would go in trying to rationalize it.

posted by beaverboard at 07:50 AM on August 31

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

RIP Jud Heathcote and Rollie Massimino.

posted by beaverboard at 06:22 PM on August 30

Turner Field is Now Georgia State's Football Stadium

As far as the Braves go, most of the "history" took place at Fulton County Stadium.

I can't remember whether Jane Fonda was more famous for falling asleep during Braves games at FCS or Turner Field. That was before the advent of such trifles as Kiss-cam.

If Ted Turner had known back then how much faith the US electorate was willing to place in a celebrity couple that was clearly miserable in each other's presence, he would have run for president.

posted by beaverboard at 05:11 PM on August 29

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Trying to find out if Dan Hawkins has a support group that Briles can join.

posted by beaverboard at 09:54 PM on August 28

...and Maybe the Dynamite Fizzles

No matter how you slice it, the Cleveland front office are bumblers.

You can peg the comparative ineptitude just by the media leakage. The whole world knew Kyrie wanted out of Cleveland, but Ainge trading IT caught people by surprise.

Now, the reports are that the Cavs want some absurd measure of bonus added in, such as Brown or Tatum. The idea that a story like that even got started shows how little control the front office has of its operations. Every chapter of the Cleveland side of this unfolding saga could have (and should have) been kept quieter.

Loose ships sink hips.

I'll be disappointed in Ainge if he even publicly acknowledges the details of Cleveland's post-agreement demands.

Meanwhile, it's nice that Ainge got some more value from the Sixers by dealing them the first pick this year, but the draft was held a full month after IT's injury put him on the bench and the decision was made to forego surgery. If Ainge had any sort of idea he'd need elite help at point guard in the coming season, all this mess could have been avoided if he'd just kept the pick and drafted Fultz. Let your clumsy division opponent get less in return for Kyrie somewhere else, and become instantly less competitive than they will be if this trade goes through.

I wish Ainge had played his college ball at Wake Forest or NC State. Then he wouldn't have this god-damned fascination with Duke players.

posted by beaverboard at 12:05 PM on August 28

...and Maybe the Dynamite Fizzles

Woke up early this am from a dream that had the Celtics not only refusing to add in anything else to sweeten the deal, but instead changing their own minds and pulling Isaiah or Crowder off the table.

If the deal gets modified and the Celtics somehow end up with Shumpert, I'm driving over to Chelsea and pound the salt pile.

posted by beaverboard at 11:51 AM on August 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Until we get to Washington DC and don't want to call it Redskins Stadium.

I think Belichick would be fine with people calling Gillette Field "Triple Stainless Razor Park".

Anything to gain an edge.

The way Blake Bortles has been going, if someone wanted to call the Jags stadium "Van Down By The River" I'd be OK with that.

Why hasn't the Seattle stadium subtitle been changed to "Home of the 12th Person"?

If you called the Denver facility Broncos Stadium, it would be only a matter of time before newly prosperous pot shop owners got together, bought the naming rights, and started calling it Mile High Stadium again.

Wonder what the Oakland Raiders new home in Vegas will be called. Of course, some people were referring to Vegas as a black hole long before Al Davis ever founded the franchise.

posted by beaverboard at 11:40 AM on August 27

...and Maybe the Dynamite Fizzles

Ainge got lucky before when he tried to trade an insane bundle of six draft picks for the chance to move up in the draft and take Justise Winslow. He is so fortunate that the Hornets didn't say yes. And the Hornets are idiots for saying no and drafting Frank Kaminsky, the man of 1000 facial expressions. He's the guy who couldn't give the sheriff a good reason why he let that man just walk in and rob the general store.

Ainge doesn't deserve to be lucky enough to have this trade voided, having missed on subway token chances to get other players like Butler and George before foolishly overpaying for Irving.

If the deal falls apart and everyone goes back home, Ainge is lucky again, because he's got a high quality coach who will find a way to reassemble the troops and get them motivated. Whatever it takes to make Crowder happy, do that. Hell, give him a raise that bumps him up a bit until he can get fair market value down the road.

If Kyrie goes back to Cleveland, what the hell is Tyronn Lue going to do or say that will make everything OK?

If Isaiah has a medical condition that will keep him from ever being 100% again, that's why you don't pay him the big bucks when his contract is up. It's sad but justifiable.

I like Ainge as a hoarder and value grabber a lot more than I do as a high roller. Stay away from Vegas, Danny. It's not your kind of place.

posted by beaverboard at 06:49 PM on August 26

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

This year's Kepler-Doppler award goes to Deshaun Watson, the Lonnie Smith of planetary and meteorological events.

His alma mater Clemson was smack dabo in the middle of the path of totality during the recent solar eclipse, and he's currently withstanding the wrath of Hurricane Harvey in Houston. Stay safe #4.

posted by beaverboard at 01:29 PM on August 26

Augusta Chairman Billy Payne Retires After 11 Years

Well, ol' Hootie Johnson died last month, so that generation of the guard is thinning out.

I don't think much of the increase in revenue has come from sales of the pimento cheese sandwiches, as they have gone downhill since the club yanked the concession away from both the creator and longtime purveyor of the sandwiches, and his successor.

Who'd have thunk that a simple patron nibble would turn into a tale of mystery and intrigue worthy of Dan Brown or Indiana Jones?

By some estimates, fees and dues (which are not publicly discussed) have more or less tripled since the early 2000's, going from 4 figures well into 5, but that doesn't weigh as heavily as the ad revenue. I hope they are surcharging Roger Goodell for his membership.

Part of financial wellness is what you don't spend. Every time Bubba Watson wins, the kitchen staff just goes and gets his Champions Dinner menu items from the pre-prepared food section of the local grocery store. And the bakery dep't. provides the confetti cake. Bucket of shortening and all, y'all.

posted by beaverboard at 01:41 PM on August 25

Edmonton Eskimos Face New Calls to Change Name

I'm so accustomed to the double "E" on the helmet that I hope they can find a team name that starts with "E" to keep the logo.

Can't imagine that Dan Snyder, snug in his own little private reality down in Washington DC, is losing any sleep over this.

posted by beaverboard at 04:22 AM on August 25

Jaguars Demote Blake Bortles in Preseason

Chad Henne and Matt Moore are now the NFL's designated Florida team QB's and mediocrity assurance officers.

Bortles still has a job because when Shahid Khan watches his Jags play, the QB evokes fond memories of something that is dear to Khan's heart. A rear bumper.

It's not too late to put Will Ferrell in uniform as a stunt double.

God forbid they would consider bringing in Kaepernick.

posted by beaverboard at 09:30 AM on August 24

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Worthy article on Federer's resurgence here.

If you hit the NYT paywall or other snag, maybe there's a way for Mr. Mod to post it as a link from a secondary source.

posted by beaverboard at 08:30 AM on August 24

Boom goes the dynamite.

The more I think about the deal, the less I like it from a Boston perspective. There must be stuff in the background that factored in. Perhaps the main thing is not wanting to open the vault for Isaiah when he's due for a new contract.

posted by beaverboard at 09:20 AM on August 23

Boom goes the dynamite.

I guess Ainge didn't proportionally overpay in relation to all the "assets" he has stashed away, but I wouldn't have given up both Crowder and Zizic. It felt like he gave up too much.

In this year's playoffs, LeBron brought his usual commanding presence, but Kyrie was downright electrifying. And unstoppable at times. The level of effort and determination was remarkable. When he drove to the hoop, I didn't worry about him on the way in; I worried that he would hurt himself trying to stick the dismount after he scored.

Lue will be put to the test, as people will be watching to see if he can get as much out of Isaiah as Stevens did.

Cleveland needs to cash in the pick on a franchise stud if the revamped roster doesn't gel and LeBron bolts for Lonzoland.

posted by beaverboard at 07:40 AM on August 23

NBA Rookies Predict the Rookie of the Year

From the little I saw during the summer, I liked Dennis and Donovan.

posted by beaverboard at 09:43 PM on August 22

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

If Muller wants to come to the US, there will always be a place for him in the NFC North, the ancestral home of celebratory self-injury.

Or, maybe the Ariz. Cardinals will need a placekicker in 2018.

posted by beaverboard at 02:28 PM on August 21

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The real Don Cherry died in 1995.

posted by beaverboard at 06:33 PM on August 19

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Kessel is on a two year Stanley Cup Holy Communion process.

Last year it was the wine (champagne, which his mother or grandmother chugged right out of the Cup)

This year it's the bread (with some non-Biblical components added).

posted by beaverboard at 10:40 AM on August 15

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

The sequence of events as they happened:

1) Jerry Jones says he doesn't expect Elliott to get suspended.

2) Jones gets inducted into Pro Football HOF the following day

3) Vince Wilfork leaves Texas, heads to Foxboro, retires as a Patriot

3) Goodell makes his first appearance in Foxboro since the deflate game the following day. Spends time with Kraft up in the owner's box.

4) Elliott gets suspended the following day

It's all there. We just have to dive deeper, find the patterns, and connect the dots.

No one has even begun to figure out how Umbrella Man and Babushka Lady figure into all this.

posted by beaverboard at 07:14 PM on August 11

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

I revisited that cricket boudoir clip. It almost looks like the carnal version of Fly Emirates International Business Class.

All the homforts of come.

posted by beaverboard at 05:17 PM on August 07

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle


Why is the president vacationing in New Jersey?

posted by beaverboard at 07:46 PM on August 06

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Dancing with the jewels.

posted by beaverboard at 10:46 AM on August 05

Legendary Notre Dame Coach Ara Parseghian Dies at 94

Damn, you are totally correct.

I should have fact checked, but under the current circumstances, I think I have fact check fatigue. It's all anyone seems to be doing.

I used to think that the producers in the truck would show Davie on the sideline just to get Musburger jacked up, which was guaranteed to happen.

"Now there's Bob Davie, one of the brightest young minds in the coaching profession. Some say he could be the next head coach in South Bend when Coach Holtz decides to hang 'em up..."

I don't know whether Holtz ever saw or knew about these tender moments, but I'm pretty sure that's when he started spitting all over people whenever he spoke.

Watching Lou Holtz speak is like video taping somebody eating corn on the cob and then playing it backwards.

posted by beaverboard at 12:09 PM on August 04

Legendary Notre Dame Coach Ara Parseghian Dies at 94

Truly the gold standard, and the problem at ND is that they began to think that it was the aura of their sanctified program that ensured the glory that was rightfully theirs. They've had a lot of other people give the job a shot and none since Coach Parseghian have met that standard.

I must say I've always felt bad for Dan Devine. There was no way he was going to get a fair shake following Parseghian, and Irish fans made his life miserable at times. It was almost preordained that he wouldn't be able to measure up. The bums in South Bend didn't realize how good they had it with him until after he was gone.

Then they got their just reward. Gerry Faust. Serves 'em right.

Parseghian was most fortunate in that he coached in an era before Brent Musburger began his orgasmic tenure as Notre Dame Fawner-in-Chief. Musburger spent untold hours of airtime enraptured in breathless wonder at the likes of Offensive Coordinator Bob Davie and game changing boy genius Ron Powlus. Brent spent what seemed like a decade verbally grooming Davie for the top job at every opportunity.

At one point, becoming the object of Musburger's affection was a surefire path to underwhelming mediocrity and widespread disillusionment among the faithful. Musburger almost had to be hosed down and sedated during Powlus' first start; the Irish obliged by struggling to beat Northwestern, who were strictly doormats at the time. It was a foretaste of what was to come.

posted by beaverboard at 05:42 PM on August 03

Cubs Give Steve Bartman a World Series Ring

I was at a relative's 80th birthday at a banquet facility. She was in great health at the time and ready to party all night. Open bar at sunset, grandsons with laptops doing DJ duty.

Around 10, the staff switched to cash bar status to finish out the night. A half hour later, an announcement came from the DJ's. "OK Grandma, this is the moment!" Out come the pink Sox hats and she and her fellow elders got right into a conga line as Sweet Caroline began blasting through the room.

I headed directly for the bar. The bartenders saw me coming. I started fumbling in my pocket for some money, and they waved me off and handed me a large comp beverage. "No worries, sir. We understand."

posted by beaverboard at 01:20 PM on August 03

Cubs Give Steve Bartman a World Series Ring

Goodman wrote at least two Cubs songs...

posted by beaverboard at 07:34 PM on August 02

Cubs Give Steve Bartman a World Series Ring

If Steve Goodman were still alive, they would have to consider giving him one.

posted by beaverboard at 09:09 AM on August 02

Cubs Give Steve Bartman a World Series Ring

Moises to followers: the red "C" has been Barted.

posted by beaverboard at 04:19 PM on July 31

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Thus far, the rookie QB's Trubisky and Mahomes appear to be separated by an inverse distance far greater than eight draft slots.

posted by beaverboard at 12:30 PM on July 31

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

From a Yahoo Sports article on Leonard "Not Skynyrd" Fournette's Jacksonville training camp weight, this cherce morsel from the top cat:

Last month, when head coach Doug Marrone was asked how many times quarterback Blake Bortles would ideally throw in a game, he said "Zero."

posted by beaverboard at 09:49 PM on July 27

111 NFL Brains Examined By Neuropathologist

John Urschel has decided to retire so he can pursue an advanced degree. Not just any advanced degree either. Hopefully, he's getting out soon enough.

posted by beaverboard at 01:46 PM on July 27

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Sadly, he is no longer a 1 percenter. All the lucrative SpoFi banner ads for single Filipino women that were once so bountiful are gone from my page loads, poof, vanished. There goes the revenue stream. It is as though Tebow or Pence took charge of the monetization program and wrung the carnal intrigue right out of it.

These days, if I want to have any interaction whatsoever with women from the Philippines, I have to call ExxonMobil customer service.

posted by beaverboard at 10:03 PM on July 26

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

First display of 2017 Halloween candy appeared at our local supermarket July 16.

Horrible judgment to be flaunting pallet loads of 3 Musketeer bars just as the Kyrie-LeBron-Love triangle started unraveling in shocking fashion in front of the whole country.

posted by beaverboard at 09:11 PM on July 24

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I still think NASCAR would do well if they started a mid-Atlantic ATV polo league.

posted by beaverboard at 01:36 PM on July 23

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

If Kyrie heads West and LeBron follows, who in the junior varsity conference will stand Tree Rollins tall against the looming Ainge leviathan?

posted by beaverboard at 04:56 PM on July 21

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Hugh Freeze and Sean Spicer couldn't have just swapped jobs?

posted by beaverboard at 03:51 PM on July 21

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Freeze Busted by Nutt Law Dog, Phone Log

posted by beaverboard at 10:57 PM on July 20

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

If he ever gets to wear the armband, calling him Captain Hamhart will be unavoidable.

posted by beaverboard at 05:40 PM on July 17

Roger Federer Wins 8th Wimbledon Championship

Buffalo, proud AFL Champions, 1964 and 1965

posted by beaverboard at 03:02 PM on July 16

Roger Federer Wins 8th Wimbledon Championship

I thought Federer was done as a Wimbledon champion, and thought Tom Brady would retire with three rings. There was a point at which I actually didn't want to see the Pats to go to any more Super Bowls so Brady wouldn't end up being 3-6 in the big game.

I'm digging these mindbending, presumption busting late career surges.

As Jack "1986" Nicklaus has long said, it all starts with putting yourself in a position to win, as he, Brady, and Federer have done so remarkably and consistently in their careers.

Being a runner up a bunch of times to me is a worthy measure of success. It means you had what it took to put yourself in that position. Hello, all the above guys, and hello Mickelson, LeBron, and the Buffalo Bills, among others.

posted by beaverboard at 12:26 PM on July 16