I love that photo of Hodges. I haven't seen him in quite awhile. I would not have recognized him. He looks wise and fit, a knowing soul from an ancient country. The anti-Barkley.
posted by beaverboard at 03:49 PM on April 20
Janice is currently not helpful or desirable in the marble hallways of the nation's capital.
posted by beaverboard at 03:44 PM on April 20
I always savored this nugget of wisdom from Ray Lewis the broadcaster: (not stated verbatim):
"The Patriots must have known what they were getting into when they drafted Hernandez"
Meanwhile, as calendar days go, April 19 continues to be a certified badass motherfucker.
posted by beaverboard at 07:57 PM on April 19
Should we trade Howard to the National League for Bucknor, draft choices, cash, and a player to be named later?
With the provision, of course, that Howard remain in touch with us.
If we dumped Bucknor's contract upon arrival, his salary would only count against the SpoFi cap for 2017.
posted by beaverboard at 03:25 AM on April 19
I love that photo. Maybe "3rd - 2:12" will become the new "John 3:16" in placard land.
The other tweets also gave me a chuckle, at least the ESPN part of it.
posted by beaverboard at 02:15 PM on April 18
This I understand, but as long as the sideline mikes are cranked during the games and offenses can choose whatever signal words they want, why hasn't Tom Brady ever called out: "Cougar, Cougar, White 90, Fuck Goodell"?
posted by beaverboard at 01:57 PM on April 14
Danny Willett went traditional British tried and true with his Champions Dinner menu at Augusta this week. Sunday Roast and Apple Crumble. Not as boring as Bubba Watson (grilled chicken and confetti cake - not once but twice) but well short of the culinary standard set by Vijay Singh or the drama created by the Sandy Lyle haggis spectacle.
Speaking of culinary standard, I assume that Charl Schwartzel was at the Tuesday banquet. I wonder if he asked the staff for some Monkey Gland sauce for the roast. It was one of the signature items on his Champions menu five years ago. It might be a staple condiment at Augusta at this point.
I've been meaning to make up a batch of that sauce. I'm only lacking a couple of the ingredients - the chutney being one of them. With many Federal agencies and animal rights organizations currently overwhelmed and understaffed, I figure that now is the time to stock up and get cooking.
posted by beaverboard at 11:28 PM on April 06
Another article from a conservative viewpoint here. Written back in 2004. Some comments insightful, amusing and/ or ironic given the current state of things.
In the last 10 Super Bowls, 40% of the champions had home stadiums with less than 25% public funding, but only 20% of the title games were played in stadiums with less than 25% public funding. The NFL loves showcasing the fancy, fleecy venues.
Maybe the league's goal is for the Super Bowl to be played in Vegas as often as possible once the new stadium is up and running. Does the NFL have a luminary who could serve as a roving goodwill ambassador in Vegas during Super Bowl week? The NBA is all set in that department. They have Barkley.
posted by beaverboard at 08:40 AM on April 06
A good companion to this piece would be the older article in The Atlantic on how the NFL fleeces taxpayers.
I was recently reading about the hundreds of millions of municipal debt still owed by cities that the NFL has recently deserted - St. Louis, San Diego, and Oakland. Amazing that this sort of thing has continued to happen.
Any sports fan on the verge of being done with the league can choose from a growing cafeteria menu of vexations that will put them over the edge.
Isn't there already a pirate-themed resort on the Strip?
posted by beaverboard at 03:08 PM on April 05
11 rolled a 7 and up came 9.
I think Nantz's life is a matter of being rewarded for taking the bad with the good.
Has to call an ugly NCAA title game last night with the likes of Raftery.
Wakes up this morning to make his annual migration to a verdant, Feherty-free Masters tournament.
Finds out today on his way to Augusta that after umpteen years, Simms is finally out of the booth.
"Look, Jim, you see how it works. We heard about it in our Friday meeting with the coaches. This is what they want to do. So how are they going to do it? The viewer approval ratings have not been where they want 'em. They're going to have to get it done with the kicking game."
Haven't heard whether Simms will still be on the air in some capacity. I wouldn't want to be completely without a definitive source of straight talk, such as the fact that the Ravens' ground game had suffered the previous season is because "Ray Rice was beat up last year".
posted by beaverboard at 03:57 PM on April 04
You look at all the attire that all the coaches in all the sports decide to wear on television, and why is it that Roy Williams is not getting a Gatorade bath after every game, win, lose, or draw?
If the team kept wrecking those country picnic sparkin' jackets with blue sports drink, the 70's Men's Shop at Sears would eventually run out of them.
Thank god he don't coach Clemson.
posted by beaverboard at 03:40 PM on April 04
Those rims should be taken to Bisbee and turned into wagon wheels. Or just melted down and poured off.
posted by beaverboard at 07:35 AM on April 04
I'm disappointed that lizard green Oregon wasn't able to do a better job of being Dinosaur Sr. in the paint last night.
posted by beaverboard at 09:43 AM on April 02
One member of the press was admonished after referring to the Giants skipper as "Chubby Core". As he should have been. There is absolutely no place for that sort of thing.
I had dinner with Ms. Slaydofo once. It was late. She had just made her deadline for the online edition and seemed very tired and had a distant gaze in her eyes. When I got the check, the waiter had scribbled "Loopy Lids Afar" on it. He understood.
posted by beaverboard at 03:15 AM on April 01
Unreal win by Miss. State over UConn in the Women's Final Four. An instant classic. From the start, it looked like MSU was up to the task. They spent most of the first half without McCowan and still took a nice lead into halftime.
posted by beaverboard at 12:23 AM on April 01
Jamie Dixon's move from Pitt to TCU is paying worthy dividends thus far. He has a former 21 loss team playing for the NIT title in his first year back in Fort Worth.
posted by beaverboard at 08:56 AM on March 29
I guess the Soldier Field corollary to "Let the sea set you free" is "That there lake will make you quake".
posted by beaverboard at 05:58 PM on March 28
This photo is now available in an enhanced commemorative framed edition that makes a very attractive gift. It has a brass plaque that is engraved with the inscription:
"I'm not going in, Coach"
posted by beaverboard at 05:55 PM on March 28
Team laundry shouldn't be a problem. There are people in Vegas who can get stains out of almost anything.
posted by beaverboard at 11:31 AM on March 28
I don't know where they're going to find any cheerleaders.
posted by beaverboard at 10:56 PM on March 27
With a coach such as Jack Del Desierto, anything is possible.
posted by beaverboard at 06:05 PM on March 27
Heels, Cocks, Zags, and Ducks
(I know..that thought occurred to me too)
posted by beaverboard at 09:45 PM on March 26
As a grad of an "Original 8" ACC school, and with a wistful sense of irony*, I humbly welcome you to the damn-near-half-SEC Elite Eight.
*South Carolina left the ACC in 1971 which is something I still regret. (Also sad that Maryland left.)
But at least in the annals of the ACC, there's a time period we can refer to as "pre-Boeheim". I take a certain measure of comfort and solace in that.
posted by beaverboard at 09:49 AM on March 25
Georgia Tech knows how to ruin a good alphabet party, as they join UCF, TCU, and CSUB in the NIT Final Four.
posted by beaverboard at 08:16 AM on March 24
Durable sports records dep't.:
Antonio Cromartie's OBP.
12 kids, the last two designated BAV*
(*Boinked After Vasectomy)
posted by beaverboard at 12:39 PM on March 23
This decree just in from his majesty Greg Oden:
posted by beaverboard at 12:03 PM on March 21
True: Two Blue Duke Two Seeds Get Boot.
posted by beaverboard at 10:52 PM on March 20
I enjoy watching the women's game because it's well scaled to the size of the rink. There's more of a sense of space involved, which allows for more passing, playmaking, and possession. The male skaters have become bigger, faster, and more fit than they were in the late 1960's when I first got to see NHL hockey. The rink seems too small and claustrophobic now. Any space that is created is closed off instantly. The flow of the men's game has gotten chopped up into a series of dizzying micro moments.
I am stunned by the reflexes, skill, and athleticism that happen in those micro moments when the broadcasters slow the action down on instant replay and you can see what happened in detail. But purely on a space and flow basis, I enjoy watching penalty killing and power plays and 4 on 4 action more than I do full strength men's hockey.
posted by beaverboard at 01:59 PM on March 20
When Westbrook gets a night off, does it include a drip line?
posted by beaverboard at 09:54 PM on March 19
I want Bill Raftery to continue trademarking as many of his "famous" phrases as he can.
The less chance anyone else has to use them, the better. One guy like that is bad enough.
Although I do think that if a sultry, nefarious female agent in a spy film were to purr in heavily accented English: "Onions, with a kiss", she should not have to pay a usage rights fee.
posted by beaverboard at 04:38 PM on March 17
If Indiana U grabs Brad Stevens from Boston and Illinois grabs Tony Bennett from Virginia, I will be severely displeased.
posted by beaverboard at 02:29 PM on March 16
Muirfield has relented and now joins Royal Troon, St. Andrews and other historic UK courses in deciding to admit women as members.
No Condi Rice green jacket express lane for would-be Muirfield women, though. The membership waiting list is still two years, gender regardless.
Nothing to do but get in line and wait for a number of old codgers to be wheeled in and out of church on a dark purple gurney.
posted by beaverboard at 11:08 AM on March 15
I need to hustle my talented nephew over to Foxborough while Belichick is suddenly paying full retail prices and beyond for available talent.
What happened to the Bob's Discount Furniture Holiday Sale approach to rostering in the Dark Kingdom? I became a believer in the "Buy Low - Coach High" strategy years ago. I looked at all the celebrating players on the Duck boats in the Pats' 2017 victory parade and I saw nothing but solid value and overachievers.
The only consolation is that teams like Arizona and Cleveland are now paying ex-Patriots players alarmingly vast sums of money of their own free will.
posted by beaverboard at 08:42 PM on March 11
On a geographical basis, sorry to see that the Arizona Cardinals' English Channel tandem has been broken up.
Rodney Gunter, formerly of Dover, is still on the roster, but Calais Campbell has headed off to the Jags.
posted by beaverboard at 10:53 PM on March 10
would it not make sense for Patriots to pick up Cutler as Brady's backup
I think Belichick does better managing supposedly high maintenance types like Moss and Dillon than he does with Eeyores like Cutler.
Cutler just doesn't have a deep burning desire to be a professional quarterback. It happens to be something he's good at and it pays well. When he got to Chicago, there was a lot of general euphoria about the team finally making a dynamic roster move, but some locals who live and breathe the Bears worried that Cutler's kielbasa was not hanging from an iron hook.
One devastating passing remark from Belichick on the training camp practice field and Cutler would be reduced to a mass of quivering aspic.
posted by beaverboard at 08:31 AM on March 10
The best part of the Osweiler trade is that the Texans apparently didn't have to take any Cleveland players in return.
Here's what Osweiler's comet trail might end up looking like:
- Fair haired boy steps in for Peyton, captures hearts and minds, creates optimism for the future, helps win a Denver championship
- Wooed by division champion Texans as a top dollar free agent
- Ugly year as first time full time starter
- Sent to Cleveland
- Cut from roster; salary absorbed by club
- Seen fishing off the rocks at Lakefront Park with no concern as to how bills will be paid
- Charlie Whitehurst signs with his 42nd NFL team, is immediately worried that Osweiler will show up at camp as a walk-on and steal his clipboard and his job
- Osweiler lands starring role in splashy feature film entitled "The Sam Bradford Story". Director sees immediately that Osweiler has the requisite wide-eyed "oh shit, those are big, fast men" expression they've been looking for.
- Ends up playing in the Super Bowl for the Patriots or Falcons, because that's what happens to players who used to play for the Browns.
posted by beaverboard at 08:28 PM on March 09
I have to say, that was pretty good. I remember that war as a kid.
If Israel goes way into extra innings and wins with a heroically and improbably manufactured walkoff run, there will likely be some Entebbe comments.
posted by beaverboard at 01:43 PM on March 09
Just add an umlaut over the "u". And pronounce the "e".
posted by beaverboard at 11:40 PM on March 08
Whoops that should have gone in the Monday huddle.
posted by beaverboard at 07:53 AM on March 06
Rich Eisen is running the 40 at the NFL Combine today in his suit as usual, with a charitable fundraising component bundled in.
If he can lower his time a bit more, Cleveland has to think about taking a hard look at him.
posted by beaverboard at 07:37 AM on March 06
Section Of Antarctic Ice Shelf Spotted Near Allegheny River
posted by beaverboard at 09:52 AM on March 04
Flying Creatures Encounter The Temple Of Doom
posted by beaverboard at 09:19 AM on March 04
There are Allen Iverson bots in the world we inhabit?
posted by beaverboard at 11:17 AM on March 02
I'm glad we can get a bunch of messages out of a simple, friendly "how ya doin'?"
Who needs Tebow, Goodell or Sandusky?
That original grum@home user ID -- isn't that worth some serious money, like a Robin Yount rookie card or something?
posted by beaverboard at 04:40 PM on March 01
Does that mean we're headed toward a new Star Trek body swap reality inhabited by owl@work and grumhouse? Will this destabilize planet SpoFi?
posted by beaverboard at 01:14 AM on March 01
We've all left the country voluntarily and are huddled up in the Maritimes with Cher, Amy Schumer, and Miley Cyrus. Other distraught celebrities are expected shortly.
We're bringing in Bill Burr as an emotional guide and spiritual adviser.
posted by beaverboard at 09:55 PM on February 28
Somewhere there must be dim, grainy footage of Roger Goodell sitting cross-legged inside a circle of candles, rubbing an Oscar statuette.
posted by beaverboard at 11:06 AM on February 27
McDaniels charts a Super Bowl outside zone flood:
"Three guys go short zone. Edelman slants. Mitchell and Amendola cross.
Lady Gaga, you go long."
posted by beaverboard at 01:54 AM on February 27
I think rcade may still be traveling due to his recent loss. Even without the travel, stuff piles up in tough times, so hard to work through it all in a timely fashion.
I always figured that either tron or rumple nailed down that pick em.
posted by beaverboard at 01:54 PM on February 24
Dallas ain't N'awlins, but it's got Nerlens.
posted by beaverboard at 12:54 PM on February 23
I guess this would go under SEC bulletins, but who knows:
You take your feel-good news wherever you can find it these days.
I just got a FedEx shipper alert stating that there will be unavoidable regional service delays in Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi due to the upcoming Mardi Gras 2017 celebrations.
FedEx will do its best to fulfill its routes in these areas despite the revelry, but some roads are just going to be flat out closed, my friends.
If you're not part of the parade, you must be part of the parcel.
posted by beaverboard at 03:26 PM on February 21
I want them to trade Chris Webber's HOF candidacy to Ulan Bator.
posted by beaverboard at 07:03 PM on February 20
There are people in Washington who love how Kyrie thinks, but the president is in no mood to hire any Australians at the moment.
posted by beaverboard at 07:44 PM on February 17
Just happened to see the 2017 NFL season Strength of Schedule.
The top 4 toughest schedules belong to the entire AFC West: Denver, KC, SD, Oakland in that order.
Then, three of the next four teams are from the AFC East. Everyone except...the Patriots, who are down the chart a few notches.
I don't see the SOS every year so I don't know if this sort of divisional bunching is typical or not.
posted by beaverboard at 09:14 PM on February 16
I guess the real question is: when they do eventually sack Wenger, will that watershed event be included in the fifth or sixth volume of Piers Morgan's memoirs?
As I'm sure JK Rowling would agree, just because Morgan can go airborne while holding his dick doesn't mean he knows how to play Quidditch.
posted by beaverboard at 08:23 AM on February 16
Saw clips of the Westminster dog show from MSG last night. With all the Frazier, et al. numbers hanging from the rafters. The question was asked - aren't some of those dogs going to lose control with all the bright lights and commotion?
I said: they take the dog most likely to leave a stain and place it where Dolan normally sits. They've been working on that spot for years.
posted by beaverboard at 11:12 AM on February 15
Not to be outdone by politics in the "sometimes less than a week can seem like an eternity" department, Charles Oakley's lifetime Madison Square Garden ban was rescinded after four days.
posted by beaverboard at 07:11 AM on February 15
Wasn't this supposed to be a no-stars, character building, regroup and assessment year for U Conn?
posted by beaverboard at 03:33 PM on February 14
That lustful heathen Mike Price didn't win a game. Seek ye not the fleshpot nor shall ye dishonor the bowl of iron.
posted by beaverboard at 12:20 PM on February 09
You're absolutely right, I found the back story on Sark after the fact but couldn't alter or delete my blabbage.
As an ACC grad surrounded by SEC family and friends, anything remotely resembling daytime drama in the SEC often provokes a hair trigger reaction. I don't want 'em all to feel too comfortable with their exalted status in life.
I haven't seen who Saban's new OC is going to be, but no doubt he is going to bring in or promote someone highly capable, and that unit will excel in 2017. Gawd, if Chip Kelly went down there and rediscovered his mojo as a game planner and play caller, that would be frightening. The Tide's already scary enough.
posted by beaverboard at 12:35 PM on February 08
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