Meanwhile, tennis players are blaming the administrators of the French Open for the rainy weather.
So while it may be National Macaroon Day on the official calendar in the US, in the world of top level competitive sports, it's actually International Perpetual Victims Day.
posted by beaverboard at 05:27 PM on May 31
When Adams looked like Westbrook
When Westbrook looked like Adams
posted by beaverboard at 12:17 AM on May 28
Last night's results were intriguing.
I thought we might be headed for a Weather Channel headline: "Thunder and Lightning Arrive Simultaneously"
Instead, it was more like the History Channel and National Geographic:
"Warriors Prevail, Stave Off Defeat"
"Penguins Move Past Wales, Now Face Sharks"
posted by beaverboard at 10:05 AM on May 27
Oh, and when a proud Scot says that there will be hiccups, only the Lord above fully grasps the power of the demon amber spirits that induced them.
posted by beaverboard at 05:30 PM on May 26
My google map is blurred out. Is the former vice president involved in this?
posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on May 26
How are you going to keep Trey Gowdy from finding out about it?
posted by beaverboard at 08:03 AM on May 26
Somebody's kid needs to dress up as Anderson Varejao ASAP.
(Alternate caption: Draymond forces Adams into involuntary reassignment procedure)
posted by beaverboard at 11:50 AM on May 25
I still struggle with the concept of major league pro hockey being played in warm weather latitudes.
Not only did no Canadian teams make the NHL postseason, but if the Sharks end up facing the Lightning in the finals, I think they would be the most southerly pair of Cup finalists ever.
Heck, even if St. Louis faces Tampa Bay I think they still might be the most southerly pair.
(Except that St. Louis does get plenty cold and snowy in the winter - as well as hotter than hell in the summer. I've been there and seen both ends of that.)
Edit: just realizing that Avalanche v. Panthers might come pretty close.
posted by beaverboard at 09:43 AM on May 24
When he entered this series, Adams was of half Tongan ancestry, but who knows what his genetic ratio is at this point.
posted by beaverboard at 04:57 PM on May 23
Well, we now know that both Kerr and Donovan can coach in the pros and they are both good stories. Therefore, I'm OK with seeing the Cavs win the whole thing so we can put the "bringing a championship to Cleveland" narrative to rest.
The parts that add a wrinkle to the tale are the kid coaches: Walton going lights out on the Warriors' sideline while Kerr was on leave (and not getting credit for any of the team wins), and Lue possibly presiding over a Cavs title after Blatt was deep sixed while leading the conference.
posted by beaverboard at 08:35 AM on May 22
I read a lot about WW I aviation as a kid, so I knew right away who Roland Garros was when the name came first came up as a sports reference. I kept waiting and wondering when they were going to start talking about him and his war career. They never did, and then eventually mentioned him in an Aflac trivia sort of way. At this point, if you search the name, the actual person and his noteworthiness are tucked way down in the search results.
I keep waiting for a French retro 70's band to name themselves Rene Fonck.
posted by beaverboard at 03:22 PM on May 21
I don't know if the Cavaliers will go Fo-Fo-Fo on their way to the NBA Finals, but the Eastern playoffs are starting to remind me of 1983. When the Celtics lost to the Bucks, Boston fans were upset -- until they saw what the Malone/ Erving Sixers did to the Bucks.
Even though the Bucks did manage to win a game from the Sixers, Boston fans realized that their team had been spared a disheartening and inevitable defeat to hated Phila., as befell the Hawks this year against Cleveland after they beat the Celtics.
posted by beaverboard at 12:11 PM on May 20
What bold Scot wouldn't want to have a long lunch with Condi Rice in the comfort of the clubhouse whilst gazing out at the untamed sea?
As Rogers of Glenburn pointed out, they'll likely let women join the Club at some point. That's not where the critical, unwavering line will be drawn.
It's the distillery that will be the firm and final bastion of manhood. As the gods intended.
Immortalized in a more adventurous vein here.
posted by beaverboard at 07:07 PM on May 19
Hopefully the loss of Muirfield won't create an opening for the Donald to push to have his new course up near Aberdeen added to the Open rotation. Seeing the documentation of the creation of that course angered me on an almost Monsanto level, and that is saying a lot.
Trump also owns Turnberry, so he's already in the rotation, for what that's worth.
If he hears that a shortage of women is the central issue, he'll see to that forthwith, one way or another.
posted by beaverboard at 09:49 AM on May 19
Once he got on base, should have pulled him and gone to a pinch runner.
posted by beaverboard at 08:27 AM on May 19
Once again, the NBA has admitted an OKC- favorable officiating mistake in the fourth quarter of a Thunder playoff game. This time for Westbrook's traveling violation that wasn't called in Game 1 against Golden State.
I think Billy Donovan likes coaching quarters instead of halves. Especially when the refs go on mental Caribbean vacations during crunch time.
posted by beaverboard at 11:55 AM on May 17
New battle cry in hockey fights throughout Quebec: "Je t'Odor"
posted by beaverboard at 07:12 AM on May 17
I saw that during the prediction contest as to how many games Odor will be suspended, one commentator thought 10 games was about right because that's what Michael Barrett got for punching Pierzynski at home plate.
For goodness sake, that is no yardstick to go by. You have to take career long provocation and deservedness into account. Barrett probably got several dozen fruit baskets and boxes of bon bons from other players and managers who wished they could have been the ones to do the deed.
posted by beaverboard at 05:18 PM on May 16
Odor gets the Kardashian Award for handbagging Bautista with his glove after the big punch.
That either translates into extra scoring or a half point deduction. Can't decide which.
This is really a massive uptick in the connection between these two teams. I'm concerned that MLB fans are going to forget that there is quality baseball being played in Chicago this season, at both ends of town.
Rcade, I would suggest starting a playoff beard today. You could be Tebow by this weekend, Joe Thornton by October.
posted by beaverboard at 08:26 AM on May 16
Between the NHL and NBA, we've had our share of blowout Game 7's this spring.
Wonder if anyone has theorized about this sort of result in final elimination games, as it doesn't seem to be a rare occurrence.
posted by beaverboard at 06:34 PM on May 15
May one comment whilst on holiday?
I don't object to any of the words creeping into our discussion, as it helps familiarize adventurous sports zealots with the terminology if they decide to branch out and read commentary from overseas sources.
I think language is fascinating, and always enjoy observing usage differences such as the whole singular vs. plural group entity thing and the were/was syndrome. As in "Everton were at a disadvantage". (But Chicago was not.)
I'm intrigued by cultural measurements such as multiplicity of expressions for the same thing. The English have more expressions for throwing up than we have unlicensed firearms.
posted by beaverboard at 05:59 PM on May 15
Trofeo temporarily renamed the Pichiellini.
posted by beaverboard at 03:39 PM on May 14
Shows you what sort of preeminence Belichick has in the halls of Kraftland, as the Pats would never do a deal like the one the Revs did for that guy.
posted by beaverboard at 01:33 PM on May 12
The story didn't mention what other district or municipal needs might be not addressed or properly funded in order to make this project happen.
I've seen this sort of thing happen in my own school district. The minute one parcel of debt is retired, administrators think that they've got the green light to replace it with another round of brand new debt. No one ever talks about having a few fiscal years without the debt instead.
Doing capital projects like this is a big feather in the resume of superintendents and other district officials who will move on to other career opportunities at some point, leaving the debt and accompanying aspects of fiscal irresponsibility behind.
In my district, the superintendent pushed through an expensive sports improvement project that was approved. Then a year later, he came back with a project for badly needed upgrades to the classrooms, science labs, etc.
He thought he was pretty clever. Get the sports funding approved first, which is seen as discretionary. Then come back for the essential spending. He thought voters would never deny the district the classroom upgrades. He was wrong. Voters said: "we are at our limit - we can't do this right now". So now we have swank turf fields and substandard classrooms. And the asshole has moved on to a new job.
To me, this stadium is obscene, but at least three high schools will be using the facility. That means that no matter how many kids get pulled out of the sport due to repetitive brain injury concerns in the years to come, there will probably be the equivalent of at least one team playing there when the debt is halfway retired. At least it won't be like the Olympic facilities in Sarajevo.
posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on May 10
If the pitcher is that bad, there's only one person to call - Paul Simon
...Like a Bryce over troubled walkers...
posted by beaverboard at 12:13 PM on May 09
I thought it might have been due to an overabundance of Ontairo Mint Jupels
posted by beaverboard at 10:00 AM on May 08
Memo to Jason Whitlock: there is only room for one Big Sexy in the North American sports constellation and it isn't you.
And watching the clip of the high Colonic, I'm realizing that I don't think I've ever watched a game televised from Petco Park. Damn, that's a nice ballpark.
posted by beaverboard at 09:55 AM on May 08
Looks like this is now widening and deepening further, with more people coming forward. It could easily become worse than round one was in 2011. A search phrase such as "Penn State coaches knew" or "Paterno told victim to forget" does not yield encouraging results. It's looking more long standing, enabled, and institutionalized by the hour.
At this moment, the NCAA deciding to reinstate Paterno's vacated wins two years ago looks highly ill-advised and indefensible. They may end up having to head firmly in the other direction.
There's a chance there will be no justice served in this latest round if there is ample cause to bring charges. Paterno is dead, Sandusky is already in jail for what amounts to life, and prior charges have been dropped against PSU President Spanier and AD Curley. That leaves other members of the coaching staffs, the athletic department, and the university administration if they're going to go after people. Several decades worth of them.
posted by beaverboard at 08:48 AM on May 07
Although you can't see the irony cast in bronze any longer, it's still available in muslin.
posted by beaverboard at 10:15 AM on May 06
Sporting religion can be such a strange beast. Hard to know where to start here. Strange stories continue to emerge from State College.
Meanwhile, Paterno loyalists continue to raise their voices in defense of the once magical Happy Valley Vatican at every turn, which is not helpful or productive.
With vacated wins having been restored, if this new timeline is investigated and holds up, the win total could change once again, this time more dramatically, and national championships might be out the window as well. Not that that matters to victims.
PSU seemed to have done many things right as an athletic department and as a community in the wake of the Paterno downfall. If the new allegations stand, do the investigators keep pushing to see if the problems go back even farther, and does the NCAA come back and retroactively re-sanction the football program?
posted by beaverboard at 10:04 AM on May 06
Too bad for TAMU. Does Manziel have any eligibility left? He darn near didn't get drafted, never really played pro ball, and the money's probably all but gone. Just seems like the whole thing never happened.
posted by beaverboard at 12:27 PM on May 05
That's why I used to worry about the NY Jets losing badly when Cromartie was on the team.
posted by beaverboard at 08:33 AM on May 05
In this crazy 2016 election year, what do you do when you're confronted by a larger than life celebrity that's full of hot air, threatens to block all entry to the promised land, and has huge hands and fake looking hair?
You nutmeg 'em.
posted by beaverboard at 07:01 AM on May 03
If Myles Jack's knee is fixable and can be made roadworthy, the Jaguars are doing this draft and are going to be competitive. If they and the Falcons keep trending in the directions they have been, Jacksonville is going to take charge of the regional fan base.
Now I want 'em to go back to the old black helmets so they don't look like an airbrushed college team.
posted by beaverboard at 09:08 PM on April 29
Let's see...Laremy Tunsil:
You let someone record you enjoying the smoke-filled chamber.
You weren't tight with your account passwords.
Errors of judgment happen. These ended up costing Tunsil around 8 million dollars last night.
Then there's what the fellas had hanging on the wall in the background during the bong video. Yep, it's a common item in and around Oxford, but still...
If you're going to hit it out of the park, make sure you fuck all the bases.
(And #78, there's more fun in store. Chris Berman is just getting started dicking around with your name - both of them. He's thinking: somebody loves me; what fertile material.)
posted by beaverboard at 01:49 PM on April 29
I am almost cranking out another A-Fib episode reading that twitter.
"The goalie just said fuck it and left?"
Where's the metoprolol? I'm uppin' it.
The only thing wrong is he's probably not Canadian. Without a team of their own in the playoffs, Canadian viewership has been down as much as 60%. Can't continue like that.
posted by beaverboard at 08:48 PM on April 26
First Cowherd, then Tirico, now this. Where will it end?
One more and we can pick out a mountainside in South Dakota and start chiseling away.
(It can't be Stephen A. or some sort of natural fracking event will take place).
posted by beaverboard at 04:39 PM on April 26
- No Patriots picks appear on stage during the draft when they are selected.
- A Brady-free preseason. Assemble a dollar store skill group just to play the preseason games. The starting backfield: Tebow, Manziel, and Jamarcus Russell. All 3 on the field at the same time, taking turns doing different things. Timcat, Johncat, Jamcat. Dress Russell in the #12 jersey. (Pats will need Jerry Jones' Hardy-earned wisdom on getting the charges against Manziel put on hold or dismissed).
- Dare Goodell to suspend Manziel for more than 2 games if he's eventually found guilty of domestic abuse.
- The rest of the preseason squad: the bottom of the depth chart exclusively. Put late 18th century keywords on the backs of their jerseys instead of their names. Such as "Outrage", "Dominion", and "Rebellion". Jersey numbers 1 and 2 would read "By Land" and "By Sea" respectively.
- During the regular season, the Pats play 5 of the 8 member teams of the NFL Competition Committee. Prepare extra hard for those games and proceed to scorch some earth.
(The Pats also play the Giants, a Comp Committee member team, during the preseason, but no need to go charging after them full bore, as Kraft will at some point need to depend critically on Mara when the time comes to clamp the tourniquet on Goodell's middle leg.)
posted by beaverboard at 12:22 PM on April 26
If this decision had come down earlier, perhaps there would have been some negotiating opportunities that involved a discussion of the draft picks. But not three days before the draft.
posted by beaverboard at 02:21 PM on April 25
Bobby Knight is set to join fellow sports personalities Mike Tyson, Dennis Rodman, Hulk Hogan, John Daly, Jesse Ventura, Mike Ditka, Terrell Owens, Richie Incognito, Pete Rose, Latrell Sprewell, and John Rocker on the Trump campaign bandwagon.
No word on the leanings of other figures considered to be natural fits such as Romanowski.
Not seizing the opportunity to hop on board and complete the lineup are luminaries such as Metta World Peace, Chad Johnson, and Schilling.
To help lend a sense of balance, there's also a less colorful group of Donaldine athletic supporters that places a higher emphasis on functionality known as the Double Take Division that includes Clay Buchholz and the Foxboro troika of Belichick, Kraft, and Brady. Municipal water samples from eastern Massachusetts are currently on their way to an independent lab for testing.
Serving as a bridge between the two groups is bobsledder and Viking legend Herschel Walker.
posted by beaverboard at 11:06 AM on April 25
Still working on it as a carryover from last night, but well worth it.
Woods I think would appreciate Thompson's length off the tee and ability to keep the ball in the fairway.
posted by beaverboard at 09:30 AM on April 24
I hear that Kelly Ripa's looking for a co-host.
posted by beaverboard at 01:30 AM on April 21
Cleveland Browns have traded their #2 pick to the Eagles for what seems at first glance like another tidy haul. Have to go see how it stacks up against what the Titans got for the top pick.
Does anyone have a cumulative tally of the trading cost/value embedded in this year's top 2 picks?
Coverage of the NFL Draft now encompasses so many weeks of the annual calendar that it has become a season unto itself. Teams could embark on a "tank and trade" strategy, whereby they suck in the fall but are the talk of the town and lords of all they survey in the spring.
posted by beaverboard at 05:45 PM on April 20
"We're not at the point where we want to take the kickoff out of the game completely..."
But in general, the greater the number of kicking plays involving the Giants that we can do away with, the better.
posted by beaverboard at 04:36 PM on April 20
I have no hope that Philly fans will ever improve their conduct.
But I have to say, when the Flyers first came into the league, I could not believe how fast the team took on a character and bonded with the character of the city and its fans. It was unreal.
They seemed to go from being an expansion team to a beloved badass team virtually overnight. I can't think of another new team in my lifetime that locked in such a deeply rooted and logical identity and generated such a massive amount of local pride so quickly after being created.
posted by beaverboard at 04:15 PM on April 19
I thought Pacman Jones had moved to Cincinnati.
posted by beaverboard at 01:39 PM on April 18
Google is trifling with my annoyance meter. When I type "MLB standings" into their search bar, a set of divisional tables pops right up and lists the teams simply by their names: Braves, Tigers, Padres, etc.
Until you get to the AL West, where you find that one team in all of baseball has been accorded enhanced status: Angels of Anaheim.
To distinguish them from the angels of death and mercy, I suppose.
Maybe google could do this for other teams that also ought to be singled out to avoid being confused with the Pirates of Penzance, Rays of Light, Royals of Sandringham, Cardinals of Rome, Rockies of Balboa, or Twins of Full House.
posted by beaverboard at 12:23 AM on April 18
Well, we had a spirited knife discussion at one point. Some of the women were a bit too young or culturally uninformed to understand that "Bobbitt" was not only a last name but now also a verb.
A few weeks ago, I stressed to the crew that it would serve no worthwhile purpose for me to be injured by sharp objects, as I would then have to tell the Trump campaign that I had blood coming out of my "wherever".
Follow up banter revolved around online searches for suppliers of Kevlar kitchen aprons, etc.
posted by beaverboard at 12:32 PM on April 16
I have a few shirts from the Mexican pro football leagues that I wear once in a while because they're colorful, well designed, and sometimes provocative. Some of them are heavily festooned with corporate logos.
I have a weekly volunteer gig at a community supper program and I am sometimes the only male in the kitchen amidst a very diverse crew of extremely wise gals. Anything goes, often at my expense. One week, the shit got so thick that I felt compelled to return the fire.
So the next week, I donned my vivid Morelia Monarcos shirt and entered the kitchen with a full measure of bravado. I went up to my fellow vols and announced to them that I would tolerate no talking behind my back that evening. I then turned and walked away from them.
Here's the back of the shirt I had on.
Somehow we managed to get the meal served that night.
posted by beaverboard at 09:36 AM on April 16
Lane Kiffin, you're not the only freight hoppin' scoundrel in this dadburn territory no longer.
What happens in Vegas, leaves for Lubbock.
Mike Price is saying to himself: "how can things change that fast in a man's career in the pleasure capital of the en-tire country, and there's not one pole dancer had a thing to do with it?"
posted by beaverboard at 05:06 PM on April 15
At least the Rams gained a couple of late round picks, so they should be able to keep their special teams squads well stocked which is important, as that aspect of the game is usually good for one or two wins a year against Seattle.
Fisher's Rams may be the rest of the league's preferred Homecoming Week opponent, but they are the Seahawks' nemesis.
posted by beaverboard at 11:08 AM on April 15
The trade could have been made out of concern...
Or, the Rams could take a page (or two) out of the Red Auerbach pre-draft playbook, and spook the Browns into wanting to trade up to the 1 spot "to make sure they got the guy they wanted". At a hefty cost, of course.
Would the Browns actually go for something like that? They're the Browns. I could go up to their front office guys and say "JP Losman: Low mileage, and he's only 35 -- 3 years younger than Brady", and I'd be able to see the wheels starting to turn upstairs.
posted by beaverboard at 07:37 PM on April 14
Mike Mayock is wearing a custom made athletic supporter to work today. The waistband is hand embroidered and reads: "Ice Up Son".
It was given to him by the Los Angeles Rams.
posted by beaverboard at 12:43 PM on April 14
But in the meantime, just so you won't suffer from an acute case of content loss, there'll be a steady diet of "Walton Walton Walton...Whar's Luke-Boy Headed Next?"
posted by beaverboard at 12:29 PM on April 14
Watching the Military History Channel while I can, before the kids get home from college and we go back to Reese Witherspoon movies way up in the triple digit channels. There's just one TV.
So glad the Capital One NCAA tournament road trip ads with Chuck, Sam, and Spike are over and done with. Watching them sing the pina colada song, I was on the verge of clinical distraction. Why didn't they just go ahead and do a Supertramp tune so I could get a proper diagnosis and go on disability? God help me if they return for the NBA playoffs.
posted by beaverboard at 09:45 AM on April 14
Some commentators portrayed Spieth's final round as the worst collapse ever, but I would disagree.
The collapse was so stunning and swift that I almost couldn't grasp what had happened. His late bogey when he seemed headed for a miraculous comeback to perhaps force a playoff was almost as tough to witness.
Norman's collapse to my mind was worse to watch and played out over a longer, more agonizing stretch. The downfall began right at the start of his round.
Rory's 2011 collapse was also worse, because he seemed so vulnerable to the course and the pressure. He gave away more strokes on Sunday and fell further down the leaderboard than either Spieth or Norman.
Also can't believe how little credit was given to the quality of Willett's round. Faldo, Schwartzel, and Willett all played great final rounds to claim their Masters titles.
The one thing I didn't do was listen to Faldo's commentary as Spieth descended into Augusta hell. I now wish I had heard what Faldo had said. I remember him being understanding and empathetic during Rory's collapse.
posted by beaverboard at 11:28 AM on April 11
Boring male athletes, carrying on in ordinary shoes...
posted by beaverboard at 09:33 PM on April 10
Something I did not know about the title IX era:
Forty three years ago, 90 percent of all women's teams were coached by women... today, that number is 40 percent
posted by beaverboard at 08:45 AM on April 09
There's no shame in aspiring to acquire special powers.
Or even just gain some administrative courtesies.
posted by beaverboard at 10:22 PM on April 08
If they had gone with Swamp Draggers, there might have been some sort of response from the Hoffa family.
That Nets marketing group could have used a little input from land brokers and local officials in the parishes south and west of New Orleans. Their approach to terminology is a bit like that of the green jacketed lords of Augusta National.
You don't buy and sell tracts of "swampland" in Louisiana. It's "marsh property".
posted by beaverboard at 01:02 PM on April 08
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