Recent Comments by beaverboard

The Worst Time to Lose a Scholarship Offer

Hopefully he can go to another AAC school. Even if he's never more than a special teams player, his motivation to stick it to UConn on game day would be off the charts. Just one guy like that can blow up some shit.

posted by beaverboard at 11:37 AM on January 17

Patriots Set Record with 6th Straight AFC Championship Trip

Oh man, Kent Tekulve. I always thought he was really D.B. Cooper and threw that way because he couldn't stick his landing on the way to Seattle and messed up his arm.

posted by beaverboard at 06:46 PM on January 16

Steelers Kick 6 Field Goals, Advance to AFC Championship

I'm trying to figure out what the difference is, but I can't qwhite put my finger on it.

I remember how crazed things had to get with Shockey before people started seeing him as something other than a Meadowlands messiah.

Meanwhile, if it's composure and insight you want, some of Odell's post game press appearances have been worth sticking around for.

posted by beaverboard at 06:35 PM on January 16

Falcons Advance to NFC Championship

That new Benz mothership Falcons stadium taking shape right alongside a neighborhood that's had more than its share of hard times is truly a surreal sight.

posted by beaverboard at 11:56 AM on January 16

Patriots Set Record with 6th Straight AFC Championship Trip

No athlete builds a large house in between them two places without getting permission from Nolan Ryan.

Trying to pull up my Lone Star Calculator, so I can figure out what 250 regular miles is in Texas miles. I reckon it's about 65 miles or so. Bout a half hour drive, depending on how much traffic there is on the dirt roads.

posted by beaverboard at 09:35 AM on January 15

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Words of wisdom from Tiffany Dufu as published in today's NYT, regarding how her family spends their Sundays:

"I figured out years ago that if you get your husband addicted to Formula 1 racing, he'll get up early with the kids, because the races air early Eastern time."

posted by beaverboard at 09:29 AM on January 15

Falcons Advance to NFC Championship

Always fun to see a safety scored. Some defenders make the correct overhead official's signal; others look like they're getting ready for their First Communion.

posted by beaverboard at 02:51 AM on January 15

Falcons Advance to NFC Championship

Community owned Packers threatening to derail possible upcoming Arthur Blank - Jerry Jones sideline posture fest.

posted by beaverboard at 02:47 AM on January 15

NFL Playoff Pick 'Em: Divisional Round Edition

Falcons by 9
Patriots by 12 LOCK
Steelers by 6 LOCK
Cowboys by 4

QB: Rogers
Rushing: Bell
Receiving: D. Baldwin
Sack: Frank Clark

posted by beaverboard at 12:57 PM on January 14

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Now I have a better understanding of Derrick Coleman. He played his entire pro career pretending he was in the UK.

posted by beaverboard at 05:54 PM on January 12

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

In casually following the NFL coaching carousel each year, I can't recall a HC candidate being as prominently mentioned on as many teams' short lists as Vance Joseph. I don't think there was a team in need that didn't want to talk to him.

Congrats to the Broncos for landing him, and it's a great opportunity for him, given the unusual situation brought on by Kubiak's unfortunate retirement from a competitive and relevant team.

posted by beaverboard at 06:03 PM on January 11

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Howard, I hope you took the opportunity to express your appreciation to the dental technician for skillfully working three of your tuscaloosa.

If you're not using the percocet or vicodin they gave you, I'll send you my mailing address. I have some very smooth small batch potato vodka I can swap with you. It's out in the snow at the moment. Makes a nice post-op swish.

posted by beaverboard at 01:07 AM on January 11

Jaguars Promote Doug Marrone, Make Tom Coughlin a VP

Hiring Coughlin is visionary thinking at its finest.

If the Jags make the playoffs and find themselves facing the Pats, they've got Belichick's supreme nemesis ready and waiting to help extend the curse.

If the NFL ever decides to adopt relegation and the Jags find themselves playing Notre Dame, having Coughlin on board will seem like a stroke of genius.

posted by beaverboard at 06:56 PM on January 10

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

I don't think Sarkisian called a bad game, but at this point, there are darned few places Kiffin can go in the SEC without an armed escort. He'll be blamed for the loss until Judgment Day. Much more so than Saban will be blamed for firing him.

I love the Clemson colors and overall look, but I wish their tiger paw logo was a bit more refined and less Flintstone-ish. It looks like something you'd find on the side of a promotional plastic drink cup at Hardee's. Or a bag of Iams.

posted by beaverboard at 03:09 PM on January 10

Packers, Steelers, Seahawks, Texans Advance

It's appropriate to assume that New England will easily handle Houston, but:

1) Osweiler managed to beat the Pats when he was a Bronco
2) The Texans have that defense
3) There's the O'Brien-Crennel factor
4) Teams looking for head coaches have been ramping up the lust for McDaniels and Patricia
5) Week 3 was a long time ago

If the Pats underperform on offense, there's a chance that the Texans could find a way to score just enough points to win.

Don't worry, I'm not taking that to Vegas. Just having a maybe moment.

posted by beaverboard at 09:19 PM on January 08

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The film says Grayson Allen looked to be up to his old tricks against Boston College.

Every now and then, I have a moment when I wish Maurice Lucas was still alive and had some college eligibility left. This is one of those moments.

posted by beaverboard at 10:04 PM on January 07

NFL Playoff Pick 'Em: Wild-Card Edition

Houston by 5
Seattle by 9 LOCK
Pittsburgh by 8 LOCK
Green Bay by 7

1. M. Stafford
2. J. Ajayi
3. Jordy Nelson
4. Micah Hyde

posted by beaverboard at 04:25 PM on January 07

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Duke goon Grayson Allen was recently suspended "indefinitely" by Coach Krzyzewski for another unsportsmanlike incident.

"Indefinitely" turned out to be one game, a road loss at Va. Tech. Allen was back on the floor to help dominate Ga. Tech at home two nights ago.

Lame. Sad. Wrong. Coach K could have kept Allen out for a second game without drastically decreasing the team's chances of winning. Duke has another semi-soft home game tomorrow against BC and could have sat him for that as well. Then, their concept of "indefinitely" would have more of an air of legitimacy to it.

Next week, Duke hits the road to play FSU and Louisville. Then we're gonna see about this.

posted by beaverboard at 02:09 PM on January 06

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

rs by 9, with a Lock.

posted by beaverboard at 10:42 AM on January 06

Haslams apologize for 'disappointing year'

Who wouldn't want to work for Khan?

posted by beaverboard at 10:41 AM on January 06

Haslams apologize for 'disappointing year'

Cleveland was not kind to Paul Brown and it was not kind to Bill Belichick. You can only piss off people of that magnitude so many times before it comes back to haunt you.

posted by beaverboard at 01:24 AM on January 06

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

No word on whether Nick Saban used a picturesque Tuscaloosa Trolley as the backdrop for abruptly jettisoning Lane Kiffin prior to the upcoming national championship game.

It can't be accurately said that Kiffin was kicked off the team. After the "chewing" he got from Saban a few weeks back, there was no ass left on Lane in which to plant a boot.

posted by beaverboard at 10:15 PM on January 02

San Francisco 49ers Fire Chip Kelly After 1 Season

The noble Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men,
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And marched them down again.

And when you're up, you're up,
And when you're down, you're down,
And when you're only half way up,
You're neither up nor down.

posted by beaverboard at 11:06 AM on January 02

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Notre Dame could tell the world they still have a head coach named Kelly, and just quietly change the first name from Brian to Chip.

posted by beaverboard at 10:29 AM on January 02

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I think you have to do something that would be seen as unbecoming for a first round pick to do.

Perhaps you decided to start the new year following the exploits of Mark Sanchez.

Who continued to cement his standing in that category this afternoon.

posted by beaverboard at 02:42 PM on January 01

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

That is some good medicinal lafajuana, tommy. Thank you.

posted by beaverboard at 09:00 PM on December 31

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Howard, I believe that gives a whole new meaning to the Lanterne Rouge concept.

posted by beaverboard at 09:14 PM on December 30

Buffalo Bills Fire Rex Ryan After Almost 2 Seasons

The Bills totally screwed this up and broke sharply with fools' protocol by not doing a lavish multi-year contract extension for Ryan prior to the start of the 2016 season.

You're supposed to extend these guys so it looks like you're really committed to winning at all cost when you fire them 3 or 4 months later.

posted by beaverboard at 11:58 PM on December 27

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Not sure why Bradley is still trifling with that devilish sport when he could be making large sums just staring menacingly into the camera in a Star Trek film. Or is it Star Wars. Or Potter. Well, one of those.

posted by beaverboard at 09:34 PM on December 27

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Rex needs to take up some of the slack in that chain.

Leave it to those two boys to struggle with a sausage tire bicycle on the grass when there's an engineered walkway right alongside.

posted by beaverboard at 05:17 PM on December 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Can't help but notice that lifelike Ryan is dragging his right leg, but lifelike Lauren not.

posted by beaverboard at 11:05 AM on December 27

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Liverpool F.C.: Come for the cod. Stay for the salad.

This seems like such an unquestioned advantage to have for the sake of player fitness and team culture. Soon it may well become widespread rather than exceptional.

posted by beaverboard at 07:24 AM on December 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Anyone buying lifelike dolls would not get a Ryan Tannehill doll if there were Lauren Tannehill dolls available.

I think this is one plot that Belichick has little or nothing to do with. Latest intel seems to show that it's the work of the Jacksonville Deep State dark ops unit, perpetrated against the fortunes of former Jags head coaches and in-state rivals.

In an effort to protect their regional football domain, these same agents of Jagdom also conspired to make sure that Kirby Smart only went 7-5 in his first season at UGA. With 4 rivalry losses, including the loss to Florida at EverBank Field and culminating in the loss to Ga. Tech between the hedges, where it hurts the most.

posted by beaverboard at 02:10 PM on December 26

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

God rest ye weary NFL franchises. The teams are tired.

You saw it yesterday. An entire game slate filled with bad tackling. Looked like a blind man's bass tournament.

posted by beaverboard at 09:34 AM on December 25

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Favorite game call snippet of the day:

"On second and 4 from the 20...Marqise Lee, looking to throw it...has Bortles wide open...THOSE TRICKY JAGS!!!!!!!!!"

posted by beaverboard at 11:00 PM on December 24

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Similarly, the Niners aren't even good at vying for league worst. They saw what happened in Cleveland and promptly went out and took care of business on the coast.

The speed with which the NFC West has gone from the extremes of suckage to awesome and back to suckage again has been truly breathtaking.

posted by beaverboard at 10:00 PM on December 24

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Also, Cuyahoga County airspace is currently congested with flying pigs, none of which received tower clearance before takeoff.

posted by beaverboard at 06:35 PM on December 24

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Santa unable to visit northeastern Ohio tonight. Onboard navigation systems are not reliable in that region due to local alteration of the Earth's magnetic field caused by the Browns' win.

posted by beaverboard at 06:22 PM on December 24

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

I'm not losing sleep over Schilling's chances. He'll get a consolation prize when he's named US Ambassador to the Philippines.

posted by beaverboard at 12:44 PM on December 22

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

NoMich, are you still hanging out up in that luxury box?

posted by beaverboard at 04:54 PM on December 21

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

I guess my favorite rearrangement of that one would be Colorfast Pinkos.

I tried entering Sicnarf Loopstok Rougned Odor and that disabled the anagram generator.

posted by beaverboard at 09:20 AM on December 21

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

I'm surprised that Tulsa Coach Montgomery's name doesn't come up more often in the coaching carousel discussions. He has gotten that team turned around and cranking in just two seasons. They blew out the Chips in their bowl game last night.

posted by beaverboard at 09:39 PM on December 20

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Emboldened by NoMich, I'll submit a much more modest tale of woe:

Last night, my wife, who is battling bronchitis, lay down on the couch after dinner to rest.

I tiptoed in the room, and turned on the TV to see a small bit of international football on BeInSports. With the sound off for her sake.

I was just in time for condensed match footage of the Catalan clash between Barca and Espanyol.

My wife mumbled in her delirium: "It's OK - you can turn the sound on if you want". Which I did.

At that moment, she suddenly found herself encountering the voice of Ray Hudson for the very first time in her life. Her eyes opened wide. Then looked alarmed. Then the deep coughing began, mixed with what I would call medicinal incredulity.

By the time Ray had finished his assault, I wasn't sure if my wife was on the verge of a miraculous recovery, or whether I would have to hustle her off to Urgent Care. It seemed as though she would either get it all out of her system or go into a steep decline.

As she eventually settled down and began to drift back into a restful state, I heard her murmur:


posted by beaverboard at 01:27 PM on December 20

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

If I were in NC at the moment, I'd take every opportunity I could to have a good laugh.

posted by beaverboard at 11:42 AM on December 20

Jacksonville Jaguars Fire Gus Bradley

New Jersey press outlets are all over the idea of Coughlin returning.

If he did, it would surely be his final stop. Almost cinematically so.

I can't believe McCoy has only been at San Diego for four years. It seems like at least twice that length of time. Or maybe a better word would be duration.

posted by beaverboard at 12:08 PM on December 19

Jacksonville Jaguars Fire Gus Bradley

It looks to me like Bortles' mechanics have gotten worse this year. His release seems slower and less efficient. I still think he has the ability to play the position, but needs development.

Not to single out Bortles among pro Fla QB's - I also think Jameis has looked shaky at times. He should be progressing under his current HC. Sometimes it looks like he's getting the ball out in slow motion. And his improv skills and decision making now and then...ay yi yi.

Bradley should do well as a stalwart member of the Wade Phillips Association. Membership open to those who are not meant to be a HC, but can surely coach a defense.

Khan ought to be able to get himself a good coach. There are far worse owners to work for.

posted by beaverboard at 10:58 AM on December 19

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Couldn't help but notice that before, during, and after Colin Cowherd's attempt at floating a NFL-bolting Wolverleak, Jim Harbaugh was able to lock in commitments from a noteworthy cadre of elite recruits. He did well keeping home grown talent in state (and away from State).

posted by beaverboard at 09:08 AM on December 16

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Where in the blazes did Seattle get those uniforms?

Opposing team penalty box, Rogers Arena, Vancouver.

posted by beaverboard at 12:58 AM on December 16

There's a scandal named Wakeyleaks. True story.

probably all of the other ACC schools.

If he gave game plan info to my alma mater Virginia, I think a case could be made that he did so on a compassion and mercy basis. Not that it matters. The Hoos needed far more hep than a varmint like Elrod could give 'em.

posted by beaverboard at 06:25 PM on December 15

NFL Pick 'Em Week 15: Farewell Jeff Fisher Edition

I think they should have let Fisher coach this last game because he totally has the Seahawks' number. There have been some fun moments in the film of the prior games.

But let's not be too sad, for now, due to Fisher's demise, thar's a Fassel head coaching in the NFL again!

I would not be surprised to see the Rams win. But then again, I am no longer surprised by darn near everything.

posted by beaverboard at 03:31 PM on December 15

There's a scandal named Wakeyleaks. True story.

I had seen this story before it was given its clever name. The thing that got me was how much access this Elrod character was given to the team's info. Former staffer and player or not. I wonder what other schools allow this type of access, and to what extent.

With security like that, can you really call what Elrod did a "breach"? Coach Clawson could get a job in the IT department of the DNC anytime he wants.

I keep waiting to see if any publication will run a photo of Bobby Petrino that makes him look even remotely scrupulous or trustworthy. Apparently, there are no such photos.

posted by beaverboard at 09:56 AM on December 15

Los Angeles Rams Fire Jeff Fisher

That's assuming Gruden can still summon the energy for a scowl after spending all these weeks in a two man booth with McDonough. Chucky's analysis has become "understated". It sounds like someone put Ambien in his pre-flight cocktail.

posted by beaverboard at 01:25 PM on December 13

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Harbaugh ought to beat Urban before he tries to go anywhere. He also ought to see what life in the Top 10 would be like once he had a chance to roster a few more game changers and difference makers.

Harbaugh makes 9 mil per year now. Kroenke would have to pay him a lot of Walton money to jump ship. The Rams would have to go into eight figures to make it happen.

If Harbaugh is not going anywhere, he needs to snuff this thing out soon. If UM doesn't play well in the Orange Bowl, people will partially blame him for allowing this to cause a distraction.

He'd be absolutely nuts to leave. He's the highest paid HC in college ball and he's in a perfect situation. The combination of him with that program creates a national presence that is greater than the sum of the parts. They're centrally relevant to the discussion regardless of their W-L record. The Wolverines were flat out not prestigious or relevant when they were screwing around with the likes of Hoke and Rich Rod.

And if he jumped ship before the bowl game, he knows that the ghost of Schembechler would make him lie down on his back at the 50 yard line and give him a facial with a volcanic Cleveland Steamer.

posted by beaverboard at 12:35 PM on December 13

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Growing hubbub surrounding the planning of Cleveland Browns 0-16 parade.

Warning: includes end zone banner Scrabble content.

posted by beaverboard at 10:22 AM on December 13

NFL Adds Another Game in London

Don't understand why they feel they have to colonize London when they could do something far more entertaining: send teams like the Niners and Browns to Tuscaloosa.

I'd enjoy watching a variant sort of game at Wembley: full contact soccer with regular NFL uniforms, pads, and goalposts. Continuous play with no designated ball possession, and the only way to score is via shooting field goals on the fly. Who can remain upright whilst dribbling and briefly controlling the ball, then gain a sliver of space and blast a 40 yard strike over the bar?

posted by beaverboard at 02:41 PM on December 12

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Welp. I damn sure jumped the gun on that one. The snap count must have throwed me off. Standing in the neutral zone surrounded by twitter silence is never comforting.

I think Applewhite is a good hire for UH.

If Kiffin were to go to LSU, there would be an axis of enmity on him from Knoxville to Tuscaloosa that might be unprecedented within a conference. He hasn't got but so many post-game tossing visors accounted for in his sideline apparel budget.

With Kiffin on board, LSU football would go from Cobb salad to the most damn fun in the entire world. All the stud QB's that didn't want to play for Les would be lined up at the gate.

Muschamp should leave SC now and go take the Western Kentucky job before he gets run out of the territory.

posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on December 09

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Houston boosters wanted to fly him in for the announcement. USC boosters begged them to send a bus for him instead. Their reasoning: if that's how and where the romance is going to end, it might as well be the way it gets started.

posted by beaverboard at 12:17 PM on December 08

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Lane Kiffin decides to leave Saban's Secret Service detail, will coach Houston Cougars.

I can't find any word as yet on whether Kiffin will coach Bama's offense in the upcoming playoffs. I need to call 1-800-ETR-IGAN to get the answer to that critical detail.

posted by beaverboard at 07:58 AM on December 08

Tampa Bay Rowdies Launch Campaign to Enter MLS

I lived in Tampa in the late 1970's when the original Rowdies were going at it in the old, now defunct leagues.

The face of the franchise was the one and only Rodney Marsh. For better or worse.

I think the cheerleaders were called the Wowdies.

Does anyone have any grainy videos of those TV ads Rodney did for Waterbed City that were once a local staple?

I knew a few adventurous women in the area that wondered out loud what it would be like to experience firsthand the source of Sir Rodney's confidence in the oceanic boudoir amenities he so energetically touted.

"Woht'bids! They've now done it right!"

At the time, Ray Hudson and Don Trump were still in utero. Or so it seems.

posted by beaverboard at 03:09 PM on December 07

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

I watched a few minutes of the Colts Jets game on Monday night. I couldn't believe how fresh Frank Gore's legs looked. He's 33 - and still a factor.

Yesterday I learned that his given name is Franklin Delano Gore. That would explain the longevity in office. But not the legs.

Speaking of FDR, when people my age see or hear the word "infamy", there is only one person we imagine saying it and only under one set of circumstances. And today is the day to remember those circumstances.

posted by beaverboard at 11:40 AM on December 07