Recent Comments by beaverboard

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Also, who doesn't have a soft spot in their heart for full contact javelin?

Give me the stoic, the strong, the resolute...

posted by beaverboard at 09:06 AM on August 20

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

I guess I know who would not be starting a petition: my fellow creaky old men who risk life and limb playing ultimate frisbee every week at local parks and stadiums.

I am not a participant. I have more than enough options for loaning my body to medicine as it is. To the point where I won't be able to give it to science when the day comes.

posted by beaverboard at 08:37 AM on August 20

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Although boxing not track, still wishing I could have seen Teofilo Stevenson try to get his fourth consecutive gold at the 84 Games. If not denied the chance by the Cuban boycott and he had won again, that would have been timelessly massive.

posted by beaverboard at 07:12 AM on August 19

LeBron James Wants to Own an NBA Team

LeBron was on a sure track to buy in on a smart dollar basis until that idiot Ballmer overpaid for the Clips and jack-fucked the marketplace.

At a forced distress sale no less. Wonder how much less a level headed, value-oriented investor could have gotten that franchise for.

Between that deal and Magic's overpayment for McCourt's Dodgers, maybe I'll go out and try to be as questionable an individual as I can and cook up the funkiest personal problems possible and then see if I can sell my house for twice what it's worth.

First I have to transport it to L.A. That seems to be where the juiciest dumb deals go down.

posted by beaverboard at 03:16 PM on August 17

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

If "Zlatan" is being used as a verb, "Usain" sure as hell ought to be a widespread adjective.

posted by beaverboard at 01:52 PM on August 15

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Ledeckytariat

Give an athlete a little clean water to compete in and look what happens.

posted by beaverboard at 10:39 AM on August 13

Hope Solo Calls Sweden 'Cowards' After U.S. Loses Quarterfinal

Hope Solo is not the founder of ISIS. But we could say she was if we wanted to.

I want to watch a replay of the shootout to see what Dahlkvist might have done to freeze Solo during the clinching PK. Which was fitting as Solo had previously tried to ice the Swede with a glove change.

If someone got Coach Sundhage loosened up on Akvavit, it would be interesting to hear what she might have to say in all candor about her old pal Hope.

I personally found the Australia-Brazil match more compelling and was amazed that the Matildas were able to hold off the constant Brazilian danger for 120 minutes of field play. They stood tall. I don't think I've ever seen the Aussie women underachieve.

Figured that Australia had a good chance heading into the shootout with the way Williams had been playing in net.

posted by beaverboard at 10:23 AM on August 13

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

That is awesome. Those blazers. The chyron operators must have been having a blast.

Wish the unis had been the classic late 60's / early 70's versions that were a big part of my youth.

When I saw Catfish and Reggie in NY pinstripes for the first time, it looked like they had left the Mardi Gras float and gotten jobs in a law office.

posted by beaverboard at 09:32 AM on August 11

Longtime ESPN Broadcaster John Saunders Dies

Terrible news.

posted by beaverboard at 02:28 PM on August 10

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Only motor I got on muh swamp skiff is a trollin' motor. The Evinrude spooks the muskrats.

posted by beaverboard at 09:24 PM on August 09

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Did State give him a full scullership?

posted by beaverboard at 12:11 PM on August 09

Tim Tebow Wants to Play Baseball

Touching all four bases by any means necessary before you turn 30 is a worthy pursuit in my opinion.

posted by beaverboard at 09:41 AM on August 09

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

DeMar, DeMarcus, DeAndre, meet Dawn, Destiny, and Delight.

posted by beaverboard at 12:31 PM on August 06

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Accidents will happen
We only hit and run

I don't want to hear it
'Cause I know what I've done

posted by beaverboard at 12:28 PM on August 06

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Fortunately for the hosts, there are many parts of Rio in which the ratio of bolt cutters to keys is roughly equivalent to the ratio of bars to churches in San Francisco.

posted by beaverboard at 01:15 PM on August 04

The Bennett Brothers vs. Everyone

Hopefully, Martellus will become Bill Simmons' surrogate in New England. A shadow group will pay Bennett's fines when he starts saying real shit about the commissioner.

These two guys are intriguing and they have their moments, but they sure do make for a fucking long day for the wait staff.

I kept wishing that Jack Nicholson would go up to their restaurant table in an apron and that one of them would try to order a chicken salad sandwich.

This is what happens when a publisher decides to generate a per diem account that allows a couple of clever dudes to spend three days nosh wanking with an impressionable young reporter.

posted by beaverboard at 10:21 AM on August 04

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

That guy will never go hungry on Live Free Or Die.

posted by beaverboard at 09:04 AM on August 03

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Happened to watch a bit of the Barca 8-0 clinical surgery on Deport. La Coruna last night, featuring the Doctors without Borders field unit of Neymar-Messi-Suarez.

The beIN Sports commentators were running out of superlatives to describe the Barca attack. This malady has been known to lead people of limited imagination down a dark and dangerous Hudsonian path, from which there is neither return nor redemption.

At around goal 5 or 6, one of the guys - think it was Kevin Egan - finally crossed the river and uttered the word "magisterial". With no hint of passion or emphasis, which made it even more disturbing.

Bartender, would you double the dark rum in my Bernini Cocktail? Doctor's orders.

posted by beaverboard at 07:56 AM on August 02

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Long ago, I told my wife that if someone named Jack Daniels ever won a sporting title of any kind, I would celebrate in a fitting fashion.

I got tired of waiting for that to never happen, so a short while ago I told her that Johnnie Walker had just won the PGA Championship.

posted by beaverboard at 09:11 PM on July 31

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Tommy, I think you've got good reason to be concerned about the Upton change, but if autocorrect happens to convert "Rim or Nutsack" into "Rick Santorum", then I would say you're in good shape.

Are you posting from the DNC server?

posted by beaverboard at 07:56 PM on July 26

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Chris "Scratch and Dent" Sale enacts his own version of garment rending.

Thereby doing a tremendous service to humanity. The Sox had to go to a Plan B and busted out their second ugliest throwback unis (the Beach Blanket ensembles). By that point, Sale was already out of the clubhouse and couldn't trash those as well.

This screws up opponents scouting reports. Now they'll have to factor in that Sale has added a mean cutter to his repertoire.

posted by beaverboard at 10:26 PM on July 24

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

There's a Kessel at the vessel.

posted by beaverboard at 09:25 AM on July 22

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Russian athletes are not going on the Pablo Cruise this summer.

posted by beaverboard at 09:24 AM on July 21

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Be sure to catch my speech at Quicken Loans Arena late tonight. Leading off with an original sports-related motivational thought that occurred to me out of the blue earlier today:

"If you have everything under control, you're not moving fast enough".

posted by beaverboard at 10:16 PM on July 20

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

What a classic extended duel that was. The final putt was an awesome capstone.

A lot of golf dreamers would want to be part of something like that. One hombre would have been happy just getting to carry a bag.

posted by beaverboard at 03:09 PM on July 17

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

The people of Nebraska really ought to make Beef Johnston an honorary Cornhusker.

Oklahoma could loan Jimmy Walker to England in return.

posted by beaverboard at 09:48 PM on July 16

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Slooow newz...that's why it was announced yesterday that Tom Brady's latest petition to have the deflation case heard by a full panel of judges has been denied and the 4 game suspension stands. Wham, bam, bing, bang, boo...

What, nobody cares about that anymore?

OK, how about the rumor claiming that Garoppolo is being fitted with hidden bionic limb enhancements in a secret underground triage center? And that he's being force fed from the McDaniels Dollar Menu three times a day.

The needle's still not moving? Well, how about those bold new Buffalo helmets and uniforms? Bound to strike fear and consternation into the hearts of any opponent. Oh...that's the...University of Buffalo. Never mind.

posted by beaverboard at 02:37 PM on July 14

Euro 2016 Pick 'Em Champion: Bender

Hearty congrats to the winner.

A feature film about the contest is in the works, to be entitled: Bender Like Pick' Em

posted by beaverboard at 10:19 PM on July 12

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

I missed it. Were they the old brown and yellow McBurger and mustard unis?

Haven't seen an All Star game in a while. Hoping to watch tonight because I love that park and I also want to see whether Bumgarner will be pitching the clinching game of the World Series at home or away.

posted by beaverboard at 04:26 PM on July 12

Tim Duncan announces retirement

I didn't realize it was that many NBA drafts ago that Rick Pitino threw his rosary in the trash can. Where does the time go?

posted by beaverboard at 11:18 AM on July 11

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Deschamps screwed up by having France go hard the first portion of the match despite the scant recovery time they had after the exhausting meeting with Germany. That used up a lot of what precious energy they had in their legs. When they couldn't get an early goal from the effort, they were less than their usual selves the rest of the way.

posted by beaverboard at 07:03 PM on July 10

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Andy Murray provides Briumph at Wimbledon to help lessen the sting of recent Brefeats.

Now on to Sunday Breverages.

posted by beaverboard at 12:39 PM on July 10

Euro 2016 Pick 'Em: Final

The contest should stop now and declare a victor. You can send smoke up the spindly stove pipe anytime you want, I suppose.

You can also decide if it will be white or black.

However, if you continue to prevail in these contests, you'll probably end up being summoned by the AG and Director Comey for briefings on the Hill.

posted by beaverboard at 12:09 PM on July 09

Euro 2016 Pick 'Em: Final

Bothered that Portugal have an extra day of rest. 3 draws to squeak into the knockout round. Hmph. Go Bleus.

Fond memories of host France prevailing in a Sunday final against an indifferent Portuguese speaking team in the 98 WC. Hoping for more of the same.

posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on July 08

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

That is what Boateng also did iin the previous match. More coaching is in order there. Which neither of those guys ought to require at this point.

posted by beaverboard at 11:31 PM on July 07

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Jag the Impala: tales from the murky waters.

A choice detail: Denard described as being third on the depth chart.

posted by beaverboard at 11:03 PM on July 06

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Just as the climax of the NBA Finals relegated the US Open to virtual anonymity, the Kevin Durant decision completely blew the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest off the July 4th news map.

The 70 dogs consumed by champ Joey Chestnut represents uncharted territory.

(And the new wiener record in turn overshadowed reaction to the release of the Huma Abedin deposition transcripts. Such is fate.)

posted by beaverboard at 12:17 PM on July 05

Kevin Durant signs with Golden State

Disappointed. Wanted to see the outstanding competition in the West continue to develop.

Prefer the heavyweight head to head conference matchups rather than having an ExxonMobil conglomerate team in the mix.

Now I wish the Thunder had won Game 7. Regardless of the Finals outcome. Which makes me wonder how much of this is not Durant thinking that the Thunder couldn't beat GS but him thinking that OKC couldn't beat LeBron.

I'm also a fan of "the rest of the team" and the whole being greater than the sum of the parts, so I feel bad for the guys that GSW is going to have to cut loose to sign Durant. Bogut will have to go and the Lakers could have had him instead of Mosgov. I like that Kerr trusts and relies on his bench so I hope he ends up with a bench worth trusting.

Also takes away the feel good angle to Kerr's coaching. Now the team needs to be all time otherworldly or else. No room for error and the hate will be deep regardless. A fair amount of the fun is going to be lost. It'll be as though Lacob sold the team to Larry Ellison.

If Durant continues to defend well, he'll only need to contribute a modest handful of mid-range twos per game on offense for the team to win. Hope he's OK with that.

Kerr hopefully learned something from this past season. The first guy who says he wants to go for 74 wins should be sent home for the day.

I wish I had the Steve Ballmer vodka account. I have college tuitions to pay.

posted by beaverboard at 01:37 PM on July 04

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I spurn him not but yet admire he
Who liveth on the morrow 'cross the sea

As for the Sons, the voice they would not heed
Said "yield to inevitability"

posted by beaverboard at 05:26 PM on July 03

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Looking forward to today's Euro match, anticipating exemplary valor from the sons of the three hundred thousand.

"And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here..."

posted by beaverboard at 09:00 AM on July 03

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Oh gawd, the Jays have defeated the Indians and altered the trajectory of the Juneic LeBronian Cleveland protocosmos. What will follow?

posted by beaverboard at 06:17 PM on July 02

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

She's undergoing a reassignment procedure. The new name is allegedly going to be TransAxelle.

posted by beaverboard at 07:05 PM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Cymru V Gwlad Belg...

I had managed to pick out the word "ffwtbol" and thought that was doing pretty well. Then one of 'em switched back to English on twttr just in time to unleash a term of endearment for the Belgians previously unknown to me: "waffle chompers" -- at which point I began to strggl wth my composure.

The Welsh Centre in London looks to have more stemware than Harrod's.

posted by beaverboard at 03:06 PM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Lakers have been centerboarded by Mozgov.

What a market.

Is Greg Kite ambulatory?

posted by beaverboard at 10:53 AM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

There are gonna be some people for whom that Marilyn Monroe sorority sundress is just the thing. They may sell a few - if they haven't already.

Need to do it in various colors. SEC fanatics will want this. It's got game day written all over it. Wonder if it's spill resistant.

posted by beaverboard at 10:51 AM on July 01

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Manziel suspended four games for substance abuse.

posted by beaverboard at 07:40 PM on June 30

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

A plan is afoot to have the Copa winner play the Euro winner.

Why doesn't each team just send 7 or 8 guys plus one or two keepers to Ascension Island and they can go straight to a penalty shootout at the airfield and fly out shortly afterward.

posted by beaverboard at 06:19 PM on June 30

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Maybe one reason that Browns jersey got retired was that Cleveland had another piece of municipal treasure apparel coming down the pipeline.

posted by beaverboard at 02:58 PM on June 29

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

And Manziel is not only out of the league but out of the country, texting his dad from Cabo.

And, the legendary Browns despair jersey has been retired.

(Maybe the team should permanently take # 2 out of circulation.
The QB string o' shame started with Couch and ended with Johnny Foobo).

posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on June 29

Legendary University of Tennessee Basketball Coach Pat Summitt passes away at age 64.

Truly one of the State of Tennessee's greatest daughters in its entire history.

posted by beaverboard at 10:31 AM on June 29

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

This precious stone set in the fearsome sea...

Against the envy of less solvent lands...

This vulcan plot, this pool, this moraine, this Iceland.

posted by beaverboard at 12:12 PM on June 28

NFL Coach Buddy Ryan Dies

Seems like half the 85 team is already in the afterlife waiting on Buddy to arrive. Or still here on Earth all messed up.

Like Son of Bum, a damn good DC who never should have been a HC. And always potentially toxic to a team given his zealous hatred of the offensive unit.

It'll be interesting to see how Rob and Rex coach up the Bills in his absence and under his presumed observant perch overhead.

Hopefully, people do not beat a path to Ditka's door looking for quotables. The less seen and heard from that guy the better.

posted by beaverboard at 12:04 PM on June 28

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

If that had happened the night before the Brexit vote it would've been cited as a factor in the outcome.

Unfolding events spurred me to do the reverse and cite Brexit as a potential factor in the result of this match in last Friday's huddle.

posted by beaverboard at 04:06 AM on June 28

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

What Ian Darke spewed forth throughout the second half should have gone straight into a wax-lined white paper bag with a fold over clasp at the top. A full on 48 minute call for Hughie.

posted by beaverboard at 05:12 PM on June 27

Lionel Messi retires from Argentina after Copa America final loss to Chile

I was more discouraged when Riquelme announced he was fed up with Maradona and walked off. That despite Riquelme's past history. Because he rightly called out Maradona as an illegitimate appointment. Others went along with the sham.

The Pope is unable to do anything about this sorry state of affairs at one level or another?

posted by beaverboard at 11:42 AM on June 27

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Boateng has gotten his money's worth out of the Lilian Thuram motivational DVD.

posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on June 26

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Grass is suddenly not greener on the other side.

posted by beaverboard at 08:04 AM on June 26

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Recently, I've seen some penalty takers approach the ball with a fun house run up. They mix an exaggerated large slow loping stride in with shorter quicker strides - I guess so the keeper can't lock in to a rhythm and tempo as he prepares to react when the ball is struck.

I don't get to watch much international football, so perhaps this a common technique.

posted by beaverboard at 09:18 PM on June 25

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

After the selections of Yabusele from France and Zizic from Croatia, I heard one unhappy soul remark that at least they could have tried to draft someone whose name he could pronounce

After the deals and picks they made last night, when the Sacramento Kings go to an up tempo offense, they'll need an auctioneer to call the play by play.

posted by beaverboard at 07:10 PM on June 24