I think the fact that it's a vice captaincy has to be taken into account.
posted by beaverboard at 10:20 AM on November 24
The thing that pissed me off the most about last night's Bills-Pats inadvertent whistle is how vigorously the damn thing was blown. It was a truly energetic and decisive major fuck up. If it had determined the outcome of the game, they'd be combing the reservoir this morning looking for the line judge.
Replays of Rex Ryan walking in front of the official looked like heist footage that was captured on a bank camera.
posted by beaverboard at 08:11 AM on November 24
Anyone wanting to hop down the manhole into the pit of human anguish and suffering as uniquely expressed by Philadelphians (it is their birthright) has only to visit some of the Eagles fans discussion boards on this gloomy evening.
Some people have a death wish. Chip Kelly seems to have a Division 1 wish. And there are surely lots of AD's interested in helping him fulfill it.
If Kelly had five shoulders, each one would have a whispering monkey perched on it.
Petrino: "You don't have to coach out the whole year"
Spurrier: "Aim to torment the same people you did before"
Saban: "When you get to Bala Cynwyd, keep heading west"
Butch Davis: "Don't stop in Ohio"
Lou Holtz: "Don't sshftopp in Fptmflwh-ptui (Indiana)"
posted by beaverboard at 10:43 PM on November 22
I'm guessing that when he says he trains at the F&M track he means Franklin and Marshall. A guy running around Lancaster in Amish garb all sweated up would honestly not raise many eyebrows.
My immediate question, which I'm still unclear about, was the footwear. Can't tell what he's wearing in the photo. Not sure what is permissible in that department. The right gear would be a real difference maker.
Wonder if Under Armor could fit him out with appropriate training wear, subbing out the fabrics to save weight and keeping the traditional appearance.
In terms of future possibilities...the first leg of a triathlon - now that might present a bit of a challenge.
posted by beaverboard at 09:30 PM on November 22
Who knows what the hell will happen when Florida faces FSU. Florida had better be prepared. And hope that Jimbo is seeing Louisiana bayou dollar signs in his eyes when he takes the field.
Like many other athletic QB's with high potential both past and present, where Treon Harris suffers most is in the consistency department. If he's on his game, the Gators will be competitive, but his effectiveness is an X factor that can't be accounted for by in-week coaching and game planning alone.
posted by beaverboard at 12:48 PM on November 22
Not only did the third stringer come in and win what was a huge game, but the previously dinged up Stidham had already put up around 250 passing yards in the first half before having to come out. That's some awesome depth and continuity. It's remarkable how many top programs are not even half that deep at QB. (And how many teams with high powered offenses have placekickers who couldn't make a decent high school squad).
If both Baylor and OSU finish as one loss teams, they'll be in elite company right up near the top of the feeding trough. In yesterday's tuneups, Notre Dame served up one pre-holiday turnover after another vs BC and Florida barely beat FAU. They'll have trouble holding their rankings. Meanwhile, one loss North Carolina is way under ranked at 17.
Speaking of collegiate QB's, if I had a choice between peak form Tebow and peak form Chad Kelly, I would take Kelly in a heartbeat. He makes the plays that Tebow ran at Florida look painfully slow and methodical by comparison.
posted by beaverboard at 12:28 PM on November 22
In the immortal words of Jack Warner, "how is it" that Florida hosting FAU at the Swamp are locked in a scoreless tie into the third quarter? Did the Gators dress only non-scholarship walk-ons with a GPA of 3.4 or better and no police record?
posted by beaverboard at 01:55 PM on November 21
Looking at those badass shoes on a Saturday morning is reminding me that I need to get out there and aerate my lawn.
(Let's call it a yard. It is not emerald perfection. But it still needs air just as much as a regulation professional football does.)
posted by beaverboard at 09:13 AM on November 21
That was the missing Georgia-Florida ticketholder they've been trying to locate for a couple of weeks.
They musta honored his stub.
posted by beaverboard at 11:46 AM on November 20
Grum doesn't need an equal opportunity. Or an applicant's complementary kielbasa. He just needs about 10-15 minutes of their time. That should do it.
posted by beaverboard at 11:43 AM on November 20
Maybe UND should have let sporting alumni bid for the naming rights to the team. Then they could have ended up as the Commodores or Barons.
Or the Toewsers.
posted by beaverboard at 12:05 PM on November 19
Bortles looks like he was spray painted by Gert Frobe's henchmen.
posted by beaverboard at 08:49 PM on November 18
Andy Dalton's win rate in night games is something like 33%
Home field advantage might help the Bengals win a playoff game - a daytime game start more likely would.
posted by beaverboard at 05:14 PM on November 17
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore hath thy defense hitherto been?
Before the game, I was thinking that Romeo was all but done as Houston DC and that maybe O'Brien would go back to college ball. Now, who knows? They could win the duhvuhsion.
posted by beaverboard at 03:15 PM on November 17
Rousey has apparently been dropped from the prospective Trump SEAL team roster.
posted by beaverboard at 09:40 PM on November 15
Based on some of the calls Ed Hochuli made during the game, I'm compelled to quote from the tune Joel Mabus wrote about his cat:
My kitty cat has her favorite chair
Where she sits to lick her hair.
Sometimes she just sit and stare
At things that are not really there.
posted by beaverboard at 09:23 PM on November 15
Melbourne officials touring the city to find out how many mosaic tiles were shaken loose by the stunning action.
posted by beaverboard at 10:55 AM on November 15
While Rex Ryan toys with naming inflammatory game captains, others are busy with more telling tasks...
Last Sunday, schoolboy Jay Gruden and his Snyderskins had no chance playing on the road against the Patsmaster. Among other things, Gruden's team dropped seven passes. In the words of the NYT's Gregg Easterbrook:
For New England the drops were sweet, and good astronomy. The 1 p.m. November start meant the declining sun would cause Stonehenge effects across the playing surface. Most of the Washington drops came with receivers looking back into the declining sun: When the sun was behind the Patriots, passes went to the shadowed areas of the field.
Last November in Foxboro, New England defeated the Lions, then a playoff-bound club, during an afternoon game in which Detroit receivers made critical drops looking back into the declining sun. When the sun was behind the Flying Elvii, New England threw to the field's shadowed areas. T.M.Q. wrote at the time, "From around Veterans Day on, the coach who leaves nothing to chance sends someone to the field the day before the game to chart the sun, as perceived from the field, as it declines during the hours of the contest."
This should be no surprise. The real question is whether or not Belichick somehow has the stadium seasonally rotated a subtle couple of degrees to help accentuate the daunting Gillettehenge effect.
I fully expect Aaron Hernandez to ask for a retrial on the grounds that someone has altered the magnetic field of the earth in the region all around Foxboro, including North Attleboro.
posted by beaverboard at 08:36 PM on November 13
The stunning thing about Clipboard Jesus is that he was out of work and available to begin with. I assumed at this point that he had a sideline job that was endowed in perpetuity, regardless of what team he was on.
posted by beaverboard at 04:32 PM on November 13
I tried watching the first half of the Bills - Jets game, and couldn't do it. Not only was it playing out like the annual Herm Edwards Invitational Punt Pass and Kick Tournament, but looking at the garish unis was highly unsettling. I felt like I had wandered into the holiday aisle of a Dollar Store. Nothing but cheap, shiny trinkets as far as the eye could see.
posted by beaverboard at 10:39 PM on November 12
Jeff Van Gundy has a word or two for Dallas fans.
posted by beaverboard at 08:57 AM on November 12
Someone in the five boroughs is gonna name a sandwich after that guy.
posted by beaverboard at 02:12 PM on November 11
It doesn't help that Gabbert is the Stormfront vision of what a QB should look like.
posted by beaverboard at 11:00 AM on November 11
Goodness gracious, William F. rcade Buckley - a sussuration? Whew.
I remember the last time I encountered that word. It was at a field sobriety checkpoint on the interstate over Labor Day weekend.
They held up the flash card, I couldn't say the word without sounding like Johnny Depp on awards night, and off to the pokey I went. I hadn't had a drink in weeks.
posted by beaverboard at 10:55 AM on November 11
It takes a special breed of lineman to give Luck the protection he needs. His dropbacks are extra dynamic in terms of speed and distance. He retreats way back and then comes forward a couple of yards or so before letting the ball go. Which is one reason his runs get decent positive yardage - he's already in forward motion when he decides to pull the ball down and run with it.
He needs a pocket with long sides - almost parabolic rather than semicircular - and athletic linemen who can create that shape and hold it. Setting up that type of pass protection requires well coached technique as well as ample endurance over four quarters if Luck manages to keep the offense on the field and sustain long drives.
Thank goodness they've got Gore providing a respectable run game so the OL can fire off the ball and hit people once in a while.
posted by beaverboard at 08:03 AM on November 11
Rex Ryan, hoping to find a way to outdo Colts owner Jim Irsay in the Class and Congeniality portion of the NFL beauty pageant, has named Geno Smith's assailant Enemkpali as a team captain for the upcoming Bills-Jets game.
Always the clever little schemer is Coach Ryan, or so he thinks.
I can't figure out if Rex is continuing to shrink the size of his head or his teeth are just getting bigger.
posted by beaverboard at 12:54 PM on November 10
The Broncos need to find some slower receivers. The guys they have are outrunning Peyton's throws.
posted by beaverboard at 05:42 PM on November 08
OSU did look sharp last night on both sides of the ball. I wasn't expecting TCU to be that disorganized defensively.
Mike Gundy must have a tough job. Under the constant gaze of Boone Pickens, sometimes in hot water for one thing or another, sometimes having great success, hardly ever mentioned as a candidate for other jobs that open up. Stuck in Stillwater, subject to high expectations at his alma mater. I can think of a few other uber boosters I'd rather work for.
Lucky will be the man who occupies the coaching chair that rcade will one day endow in Denton. There will be humor, forgiveness, perspective, understanding...and bowl eligibility.
posted by beaverboard at 10:12 AM on November 08
Just saw a TV spot for TMZ Sports. Moving to a new channel and will be airing "weekdays at midnight".
Maybe that's the inverse corollary of Mingus' "Tonight at Noon".
posted by beaverboard at 04:34 PM on November 07
Disciplining NFL referees just a PR move by Goodell regime
posted by beaverboard at 02:59 PM on November 06
Also, two opposing Super Bowl Coaches - Billick and Fassel - never resurfaced.
Always wondered whether Jauron's haunted look came from coaching the Lions or the Bills. Or from the grim, foreboding years he spent at Yale. The rainy weekends, all that gloomy architecture...
Meanwhile the eternal Sunshine Twins retreads Wade and Norv traipsed their way through the league, seemingly at will.
posted by beaverboard at 12:22 PM on November 06
Nothing in the FIFA bylaws says Blatter can't groom his successor.
posted by beaverboard at 02:49 PM on November 05
Check out the Alabama one that this was made in response to. Dad in Bama togs, kids in Auburn shirts. Don't know why the neighbors didn't burst in and intervene strictly on an apparel basis.
posted by beaverboard at 03:37 PM on November 04
Kaepernick has been benched in favor of...Blaine Gabbert.
The Tomsulans continue their overland march toward exile in Modesto.
posted by beaverboard at 01:02 PM on November 03
Some reports have Saban wanting this job, for reasons not entirely clear. Other than the fact that it's another reclamation and rebuilding project.
Give it to Kiffin. The amount of 24 hour armed escort he'd need if he took it would be a boost to the regional economy.
posted by beaverboard at 10:27 AM on November 03
Impressive athletic defensive plays late in the game on several long Colts throws by a tired Panthers secondary. Great timing and flag free execution.
posted by beaverboard at 12:41 AM on November 03
I thought we were done hearing from Steve the eternal victim, but apparently not.
Interesting that Williams feels badly for Tiger having to sort out his personal problems in public but has no reservation about continuing to blabber his own whiny tales of woe which help perpetuate the gossip and scrutiny.
I hear that Jose Bautista is looking for a mid-life English speaking batboy.
posted by beaverboard at 04:45 AM on November 02
Frank Beamer is retiring.
(But not until the end of the season)
posted by beaverboard at 06:10 PM on November 01
Because it ended the game and decided the game, it's a shame for Duke's sake that the ruling on the play can't be overturned on appeal. Just doing that automatically changes the result.
I can't believe that there was an official close by for most of the critical moments of that play and yet no whistles were blown. Amazing that they let the play run all the way. And didn't see the Miami player coming on the field from the sideline when they did the review.
posted by beaverboard at 01:37 PM on November 01
Here's the Miami radio call of the lateral play:
Coming soon to a theater near you:
a new feature length film starring Meryl Streep called The Wet Britches Of Dade County.
posted by beaverboard at 10:08 AM on November 01
If I had a son that played football, I'd be mighty pleased to have him play for Coach Scott.
posted by beaverboard at 09:45 AM on November 01
NCAA Football Interim Coach Pixie Dust Update, Halloween Edition:
Miami up 14-3 on Duke
Minnesota up 16-14 on Michigan
UTSA 10 UNT 7 (hanging tough)
Iowa State up 10-0 on Texas (Cyclones fired OC Mark Mangino)
USC 27 Cal 21
TAMU 35 So. Carolina 28 (hung tough)
posted by beaverboard at 08:58 PM on October 31
Nebraska currently being handled by 1-5 Purdue. Don't know what the Huskers were thinking when they hired Mike Riley.
Someone has edited Wikipedia to state that Riley was fired today, but can't confirm that elsewhere at the moment. May be a holiday trick.
posted by beaverboard at 03:38 PM on October 31
Long an unpopular outpost for athletes of color. Kareem wasn't the first to want out, nor the last.
(Alcindor/Kareem's title winning Bucks team was one of the most frightening forces of nature I ever saw).
posted by beaverboard at 03:17 PM on October 29
Tom Brady's comments about the hotel rooms are probably pretty far down Buffalo's list of anger inducing slights at this point.
posted by beaverboard at 10:32 AM on October 29
I agree, his flip seemed completely real and unscripted - almost feral. It was an elemental gesture, but I don't blame the Rangers for taking exception to it. If he had done that on the road, it would have been more objectionable.
The bat flip and home run trot is such a solitary moment for a scoring player compared to what happens in other team sports with the immediate congratulatory mobbing after a huge play.
The home run batter doesn't connect with a teammate until he gets to his first base coach and gets a brief hurrah. Then doesn't get the full team treatment until he touches home plate. It's an interlude of many long seconds for the individual player to show his unvarnished reaction to what he has just done without input from anyone else.
Not everyone is equipped with the intangibles to properly occupy that spotlight, regardless of their athletic ability. What Bautista did was so electrically huge that I couldn't bring myself to complain about the sportsmanship aspect of the flip. By comparison, watching NFL wideouts screwing around with Sharpies and cell phones after they score - that's when you want to see a live buffalo or horse mascot chase the player around the field until they swear they'll never do that again.
posted by beaverboard at 08:18 PM on October 28
Wow. Even though different reasons in each case, now it's a trend. Wonder who's next. Bill Snyder has probably thought about it at some point in the last couple of weeks. Frank Beamer looked awful on the sidelines recently, but he seems to be hanging in there.
If this keeps up, the next step in the progression will be:
"Mark Mangino hired as head coach, effective immediately".
posted by beaverboard at 09:14 AM on October 28
Phila. man saddled with an operationally deficient home team sending an operationally deficient division rival nothing but best wishes and happy thoughts.
posted by beaverboard at 02:48 PM on October 27
I can't tell if Bill O'Brien's head is fully into the mess he's got on his hands or whether he's daydreaming about all the juicy college job openings that seem to be multiplying like loaves and fishes.
posted by beaverboard at 02:33 PM on October 27
Then there's the interim coach bump factor - USC beating Utah, Maryland darn near beating Penn State, Illinois doing fairly well and getting off to a good start including a win against Nebraska (now seen as no big deal I guess), So. Carolina getting a win (OK, it was against Vandy).
And then there are the Miami Dolphins, released into open waters from their shallow Sea World enclosure since getting de-Philbinized high over the North Atlantic. They have posted wake-up scores the last two weeks. Waiting to see how the Pats D will fare against them this Thursday. Weather wise, the Dolphins are lucky - it'll be in the 70's with light rain in Foxboro on gameday. A Miami win is conceivable.
posted by beaverboard at 01:10 PM on October 26
To keep the carousel spinning, George O'Leary is out at UCF - has resigned/retired effective immediately. Might seem sort of like a Spurrier move at first glance, but much different circumstances.
posted by beaverboard at 10:03 AM on October 26
It was just a couple of days ago it was announced that he wouldn't coach this season. RIP.
posted by beaverboard at 02:19 PM on October 25
EJ Manuel is getting paid roughly 20,000 GBP per held ball or incompletion.
posted by beaverboard at 10:17 AM on October 25
NFL x NBA uniform mashups. I always enjoy checking out this type of conceptual design work. Some of the unis are pretty cool. Some of the model athletes have no business being featured.
posted by beaverboard at 08:50 AM on October 24
I think I've reached the point where I'd rather watch Curtis Painter or JP Losman play quarterback than Colin Kaepernick.
During the first half of tonight's game, hornets flew in and out of Tomsula's mouth, established a colony, raised a new brood of queens, and then left for the winter. He never noticed.
posted by beaverboard at 11:32 PM on October 22
If you're in college and you've been cutting philosophy class this fall, just tell the professor that you've been studying the work of Syndergaard and deGrom.
posted by beaverboard at 08:10 AM on October 22
"Senor Papi, I have the Chicago Cubs on line one..."
C'mon fellas. It can be done.
(This is where the Cubs put Joe Maddon's glasses on Seinfeld, park him up in the Bartman section above left field foul territory, and tell him to flail at anything that comes within reach.)
posted by beaverboard at 11:56 AM on October 21
It's just a matter of time until a major indie band that calls themselves "Naked Bengal Butts" bursts on the scene and rcade ends up rolling in residuals.
posted by beaverboard at 11:44 AM on October 21
I wonder if his time at the Browns is over. The only place a man like that is fit to play is Dallas.
When Wade Phillips interviewed for the Texans head coaching vacancy, he told the team they had to take Manziel in the draft. Wade didn't get the job.
Scrolling down the CNN Breaking News front page:
Manziel's girlfriend: "He hit me"
Odom to Kardashian: "I love you"
Am worried that if I reload the page I'll get:
Brittney Griner to Hope Solo: "We're gonna find out"
posted by beaverboard at 11:40 AM on October 21
Is the time readout that tiny scribblage up at the top of the phone screen above "Jim McNally"? I can't really see what that is on my monitor display.
Time of day is a moving target in Indiana. Or was. I always thought that when the music group Chicago wrote their hit song "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?", they were in the band bus on the highway just south of Gary, heading for the Ohio border.
From the linked text:
Previously 77 counties, most of Indiana, were in the Eastern Time Zone and did not observe daylight saving time. Five counties Clark, Dearborn, Floyd, Harrison and Ohio County which which were in the eastern time zone, did observe daylight saving time, and ten other counties, Gibson, Jasper, Lake, LaPorte, Newton, Porter, Posey, Spencer, Vanderburgh, Warrick which were in the central time zone did observe daylight saving time.
So by mid-November of each year, there could be as much as a 2 hour time difference between two nearby towns. Or there could be no time difference between two nearby towns even though they might be in different time zones. Or the time difference in two towns might fluctuate by an hour depending on what time of year it was.
This is why Gorbachev laughed when he heard someone mention how fucked up the old Soviet work week was.
posted by beaverboard at 10:48 AM on October 19
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