Tommy, I think you've got good reason to be concerned about the Upton change, but if autocorrect happens to convert "Rim or Nutsack" into "Rick Santorum", then I would say you're in good shape.
Are you posting from the DNC server?
posted by beaverboard at 07:56 PM on July 26
Chris "Scratch and Dent" Sale enacts his own version of garment rending.
Thereby doing a tremendous service to humanity. The Sox had to go to a Plan B and busted out their second ugliest throwback unis (the Beach Blanket ensembles). By that point, Sale was already out of the clubhouse and couldn't trash those as well.
This screws up opponents scouting reports. Now they'll have to factor in that Sale has added a mean cutter to his repertoire.
posted by beaverboard at 10:26 PM on July 24
There's a Kessel at the vessel.
posted by beaverboard at 09:25 AM on July 22
Russian athletes are not going on the Pablo Cruise this summer.
posted by beaverboard at 09:24 AM on July 21
Be sure to catch my speech at Quicken Loans Arena late tonight. Leading off with an original sports-related motivational thought that occurred to me out of the blue earlier today:
"If you have everything under control, you're not moving fast enough".
posted by beaverboard at 10:16 PM on July 20
What a classic extended duel that was. The final putt was an awesome capstone.
A lot of golf dreamers would want to be part of something like that. One hombre would have been happy just getting to carry a bag.
posted by beaverboard at 03:09 PM on July 17
The people of Nebraska really ought to make Beef Johnston an honorary Cornhusker.
Oklahoma could loan Jimmy Walker to England in return.
posted by beaverboard at 09:48 PM on July 16
Slooow newz...that's why it was announced yesterday that Tom Brady's latest petition to have the deflation case heard by a full panel of judges has been denied and the 4 game suspension stands. Wham, bam, bing, bang, boo...
What, nobody cares about that anymore?
OK, how about the rumor claiming that Garoppolo is being fitted with hidden bionic limb enhancements in a secret underground triage center? And that he's being force fed from the McDaniels Dollar Menu three times a day.
The needle's still not moving? Well, how about those bold new Buffalo helmets and uniforms? Bound to strike fear and consternation into the hearts of any opponent. Oh...that's the...University of Buffalo. Never mind.
posted by beaverboard at 02:37 PM on July 14
Hearty congrats to the winner.
A feature film about the contest is in the works, to be entitled: Bender Like Pick' Em
posted by beaverboard at 10:19 PM on July 12
I missed it. Were they the old brown and yellow McBurger and mustard unis?
Haven't seen an All Star game in a while. Hoping to watch tonight because I love that park and I also want to see whether Bumgarner will be pitching the clinching game of the World Series at home or away.
posted by beaverboard at 04:26 PM on July 12
I didn't realize it was that many NBA drafts ago that Rick Pitino threw his rosary in the trash can. Where does the time go?
posted by beaverboard at 11:18 AM on July 11
Deschamps screwed up by having France go hard the first portion of the match despite the scant recovery time they had after the exhausting meeting with Germany. That used up a lot of what precious energy they had in their legs. When they couldn't get an early goal from the effort, they were less than their usual selves the rest of the way.
posted by beaverboard at 07:03 PM on July 10
Andy Murray provides Briumph at Wimbledon to help lessen the sting of recent Brefeats.
Now on to Sunday Breverages.
posted by beaverboard at 12:39 PM on July 10
The contest should stop now and declare a victor.
You can send smoke up the spindly stove pipe anytime you want, I suppose.
You can also decide if it will be white or black.
However, if you continue to prevail in these contests, you'll probably end up being summoned by the AG and Director Comey for briefings on the Hill.
posted by beaverboard at 12:09 PM on July 09
Bothered that Portugal have an extra day of rest. 3 draws to squeak into the knockout round. Hmph. Go Bleus.
Fond memories of host France prevailing in a Sunday final against an indifferent Portuguese speaking team in the 98 WC. Hoping for more of the same.
posted by beaverboard at 03:12 PM on July 08
That is what Boateng also did iin the previous match. More coaching is in order there. Which neither of those guys ought to require at this point.
posted by beaverboard at 11:31 PM on July 07
Jag the Impala: tales from the murky waters.
A choice detail: Denard described as being third on the depth chart.
posted by beaverboard at 11:03 PM on July 06
Just as the climax of the NBA Finals relegated the US Open to virtual anonymity, the Kevin Durant decision completely blew the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest off the July 4th news map.
The 70 dogs consumed by champ Joey Chestnut represents uncharted territory.
(And the new wiener record in turn overshadowed reaction to the release of the Huma Abedin deposition transcripts. Such is fate.)
posted by beaverboard at 12:17 PM on July 05
Disappointed. Wanted to see the outstanding competition in the West continue to develop.
Prefer the heavyweight head to head conference matchups rather than having an ExxonMobil conglomerate team in the mix.
Now I wish the Thunder had won Game 7. Regardless of the Finals outcome. Which makes me wonder how much of this is not Durant thinking that the Thunder couldn't beat GS but him thinking that OKC couldn't beat LeBron.
I'm also a fan of "the rest of the team" and the whole being greater than the sum of the parts, so I feel bad for the guys that GSW is going to have to cut loose to sign Durant. Bogut will have to go and the Lakers could have had him instead of Mosgov. I like that Kerr trusts and relies on his bench so I hope he ends up with a bench worth trusting.
Also takes away the feel good angle to Kerr's coaching. Now the team needs to be all time otherworldly or else. No room for error and the hate will be deep regardless. A fair amount of the fun is going to be lost. It'll be as though Lacob sold the team to Larry Ellison.
If Durant continues to defend well, he'll only need to contribute a modest handful of mid-range twos per game on offense for the team to win. Hope he's OK with that.
Kerr hopefully learned something from this past season. The first guy who says he wants to go for 74 wins should be sent home for the day.
I wish I had the Steve Ballmer vodka account. I have college tuitions to pay.
posted by beaverboard at 01:37 PM on July 04
I spurn him not but yet admire he
Who liveth on the morrow 'cross the sea
As for the Sons, the voice they would not heed
Said "yield to inevitability"
posted by beaverboard at 05:26 PM on July 03
Looking forward to today's Euro match, anticipating exemplary valor from the sons of the three hundred thousand.
"And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here..."
posted by beaverboard at 09:00 AM on July 03
Oh gawd, the Jays have defeated the Indians and altered the trajectory of the Juneic LeBronian Cleveland protocosmos. What will follow?
posted by beaverboard at 06:17 PM on July 02
She's undergoing a reassignment procedure. The new name is allegedly going to be TransAxelle.
posted by beaverboard at 07:05 PM on July 01
Cymru V Gwlad Belg...
I had managed to pick out the word "ffwtbol" and thought that was doing pretty well. Then one of 'em switched back to English on twttr just in time to unleash a term of endearment for the Belgians previously unknown to me: "waffle chompers" -- at which point I began to strggl wth my composure.
The Welsh Centre in London looks to have more stemware than Harrod's.
posted by beaverboard at 03:06 PM on July 01
Lakers have been centerboarded by Mozgov.
What a market.
Is Greg Kite ambulatory?
posted by beaverboard at 10:53 AM on July 01
There are gonna be some people for whom that Marilyn Monroe sorority sundress is just the thing. They may sell a few - if they haven't already.
Need to do it in various colors. SEC fanatics will want this. It's got game day written all over it. Wonder if it's spill resistant.
posted by beaverboard at 10:51 AM on July 01
Manziel suspended four games for substance abuse.
posted by beaverboard at 07:40 PM on June 30
A plan is afoot to have the Copa winner play the Euro winner.
Why doesn't each team just send 7 or 8 guys plus one or two keepers to Ascension Island and they can go straight to a penalty shootout at the airfield and fly out shortly afterward.
posted by beaverboard at 06:19 PM on June 30
Maybe one reason that Browns jersey got retired was that Cleveland had another piece of municipal treasure apparel coming down the pipeline.
posted by beaverboard at 02:58 PM on June 29
And Manziel is not only out of the league but out of the country, texting his dad from Cabo.
And, the legendary Browns despair jersey has been retired.
(Maybe the team should permanently take # 2 out of circulation.
The QB string o' shame started with Couch and ended with Johnny Foobo).
posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on June 29
Truly one of the State of Tennessee's greatest daughters in its entire history.
posted by beaverboard at 10:31 AM on June 29
This precious stone set in the fearsome sea...
Against the envy of less solvent lands...
This vulcan plot, this pool, this moraine, this Iceland.
posted by beaverboard at 12:12 PM on June 28
Seems like half the 85 team is already in the afterlife waiting on Buddy to arrive. Or still here on Earth all messed up.
Like Son of Bum, a damn good DC who never should have been a HC. And always potentially toxic to a team given his zealous hatred of the offensive unit.
It'll be interesting to see how Rob and Rex coach up the Bills in his absence and under his presumed observant perch overhead.
Hopefully, people do not beat a path to Ditka's door looking for quotables. The less seen and heard from that guy the better.
posted by beaverboard at 12:04 PM on June 28
If that had happened the night before the Brexit vote it would've been cited as a factor in the outcome.
Unfolding events spurred me to do the reverse and cite Brexit as a potential factor in the result of this match in last Friday's huddle.
posted by beaverboard at 04:06 AM on June 28
What Ian Darke spewed forth throughout the second half should have gone straight into a wax-lined white paper bag with a fold over clasp at the top. A full on 48 minute call for Hughie.
posted by beaverboard at 05:12 PM on June 27
I was more discouraged when Riquelme announced he was fed up with Maradona and walked off. That despite Riquelme's past history. Because he rightly called out Maradona as an illegitimate appointment. Others went along with the sham.
The Pope is unable to do anything about this sorry state of affairs at one level or another?
posted by beaverboard at 11:42 AM on June 27
Boateng has gotten his money's worth out of the Lilian Thuram motivational DVD.
posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on June 26
Grass is suddenly not greener on the other side.
posted by beaverboard at 08:04 AM on June 26
Recently, I've seen some penalty takers approach the ball with a fun house run up. They mix an exaggerated large slow loping stride in with shorter quicker strides - I guess so the keeper can't lock in to a rhythm and tempo as he prepares to react when the ball is struck.
I don't get to watch much international football, so perhaps this a common technique.
posted by beaverboard at 09:18 PM on June 25
After the selections of Yabusele from France and Zizic from Croatia, I heard one unhappy soul remark that at least they could have tried to draft someone whose name he could pronounce
After the deals and picks they made last night, when the Sacramento Kings go to an up tempo offense, they'll need an auctioneer to call the play by play.
posted by beaverboard at 07:10 PM on June 24
the potential impact of Brexit on British soccer
First up will be England's uninspired play against Iceland on Monday being put down to the value of the player contracts being worth a fraction of what they were yesterday afternoon.
Of course, for cutting edge insights on all this, as always, we need only look to the online juggernaut that Marissa Mayer hath raised from the rubble of irrelevance.
Yahoo Finance describes Brexit as:
"a sharp rebuke for globalism, which has been a decade-long trend since World War II"
posted by beaverboard at 06:57 PM on June 24
I guess Bogdan Bogdanovic is more or less the Slavic equivalent of God Shammgod.
posted by beaverboard at 09:54 AM on June 24
Just England's luck to be given the final match in the round of 16 UEFA Euro schedule.
By Monday night, the value of their per diem meal vouchers might not buy them a Bioburger and frites.
posted by beaverboard at 07:47 AM on June 24
I know several fabulous Italian-Irish women and they are so conflicted right now. I can't talk to them about football. I'll have to find something else.
posted by beaverboard at 06:28 PM on June 23
If rcade ever wins one of these Pick'Ems, that's when we get trolled by a member of the Bulger family.
(Whitey won the Mass. State Lottery while his brother was President of the State Senate).
posted by beaverboard at 12:22 PM on June 23
Vanna will sell you a "r" at a reasonable price. Unless you want to stick with Leboned.
posted by beaverboard at 12:16 PM on June 23
I guess it's part of God's plan for former Iowa State coaches to preside over disintegrating Bulls teams.
posted by beaverboard at 04:11 PM on June 22
I had to stop watching the Copa. Romero has had more of the ball than Bradley, courtesy of all the picnic touches furnished by his backline.
As an alternative, I should mention that TCM is concurrently showing a mid-40's film that features the nimble and resourceful Fred Astaire fending for himself and holding his own in, you guessed it, Argentina. At least someone from our continent is up to the task.
Fortunately, I was able to see a portion of a worthy Euro match in the afternoon so I didn't have to go the whole day without encountering quality football.
Croatia is a beautiful city. The team is living proof that persistic is rewarded. And they have younger legs than the Spanish.
posted by beaverboard at 11:09 PM on June 21
Or also could put a few bucks down on teams that have a mega star and make a mid-season coaching change.
posted by beaverboard at 10:10 AM on June 20
Ty Lue after Game 4, heading back to Oakland for Game 5 down 3-1: "If you don't think you can win, don't get on the plane".
Steve Kerr after Game 5: "I still like our position a lot better than theirs".
That's what told me that Cleveland had a legitimate shot at doing this.
Barbosa and Varejao now have to regroup and go get ready to play host at the turbulent, insolvent, effluent Olympics. Varejao gets some sort of Dantley award for being traded out from underneath the title.
Crying Jordan meme, take the rest of the summer off. There's a new sheriff in town.
posted by beaverboard at 08:43 AM on June 20
The NHL in Vegas...if the area Chamber of Commerce had anything to say about it, hockey fan Charles Barkley would be awarded an honorary minority ownership stake in the franchise. In recognition of his long standing support of the local economy.
When they put together the team's operational budget, they'll need to factor in armed guards to defend the ice surface against foragers after Lake Mead runs dry.
posted by beaverboard at 07:27 AM on June 15
Shame on the Cavs for busting out those comic book junior high road unis. Looked like they were designed by Rik Smits.
16 Robins; no Batman.
(Well, credit where credit is due: two heroes; no capes).
posted by beaverboard at 10:06 AM on June 14
Bravo Pens. I feel badly for the unfortunate timing of their victory, which has caused them to be pushed far from the limelight by major concurrent tragic events.
That is completely understandable, but it's absurd that the Penguins have also been eclipsed by the Draymond - LeBron episode in the Sports section. That sort of bark mulching should never be the top story when there is excellence to cover.
posted by beaverboard at 04:55 PM on June 13
Draymond the Dong Fu master is learning fractured Latin the hard way...in flagrante le-dic-to.
posted by beaverboard at 07:06 AM on June 13
For fundamentalist voters trying to make sense of the current political season, Creator beating Exaggerator in the Belmont Stakes is a long overdue sign from God.
posted by beaverboard at 12:51 AM on June 12
I am grateful to the Cavs for test driving Kevin Love on Brad Stevens' behalf.
If Ainge doesn't have that obsessive Love bug out of his system at this point, he'll need to take a leave of absence.
posted by beaverboard at 07:46 AM on June 11
I'm not watching Game 5 of the Sharks-Penguins series but I guess I should be ASAP.
Sharks went up 2-0 just a few minutes into the game and now the Pens have scored 2 just a few minutes later? Did that really happen? If so, the only conclusion I can draw is...that shit lit.
posted by beaverboard at 08:40 PM on June 09
When the Super Bowl champion Broncos are feted in Washington today, Aqib Talib won't be with them. The recently married Talib was shot at a Texas pole dancing facility and is still in the hospital.
I had hoped that I would never again see a headline remotely close to the one that Talib managed to generate: "Shot in Dallas, Unable to Travel to White House". With the phrase "strip club" mentioned prominently in the accompanying story, no less.
posted by beaverboard at 09:40 AM on June 06
Unfortunately, at the moment, we in the US do not have the right to call the Mexican kettle black. We have name calling issues of our own.
posted by beaverboard at 10:22 PM on June 05
I have vivid memories of listening to the Liston fights on an old AM radio as a kid. Most AM signals get wonky after dark as the stations reduce power at sunset. You had to keep your hand on the tuner dial to maintain the signal and the broadcasts were barely decipherable. It was like listening to the Voice of America in the Soviet Union.
I knew Foreman was in trouble in 1974 as soon as I saw that he had brought a police dog and a bunch of coordinated outfits to Zaire. I kept looking for the camel train and the concubines. He was displaced and uncomfortable. Ali was home.
posted by beaverboard at 08:36 PM on June 04
Copyright © 2016 SportsFilterAll posts and comments are © their original authors.