"Rob Gronkowski is not afraid of making a buck off the situation."
Unrelatedly, I saw another Gronk shirt that said:
"Gronk know only three things :
Touchdowns and fucking."
Even as a Dolphins fan I almost bought that.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:25 AM on January 22
Bill is furious to hear 11 of the 12 balls were underinflated.
He wants to know who didn't do their job with the 12th ball. That guy is fired.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:22 PM on January 21
Yep, he gets the Bills' $4m for doing nothing. Or being an Offensive coach for Jacksonville. Whichever takes less work.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:21 PM on January 20
Doug Marrone used his option to escape the Head Coach role in Buffalo, enabling him to take up an exciting new opportunity... as Offensive Line Coach in Jacksonville.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:29 PM on January 20
The Jets have hired Arizona DC, (and former Dolphins' interim head coach), Todd Bowles to be their new leader. Heaven knows hiring a defensive specialist hasn't gone wrong for them before.
Meanwhile, Rex Ryan finally gets his wish to lead a New York football team, as he's in in Buffalo.
In Florida, Miami Head Coach Joe Philbin cooked a pancake without burning it.
Prediction : New England to win the AFC East in 2015.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:15 AM on January 14
Touching moment of sympathy from the Arsenal fans toward their visitors from Stoke today.
After the Emirates Stadium PA backed up Arsenal's third goal with the announcement that the trains back to Stoke had been cancelled, home fans all began to sing "you're shit and you can't get home."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:35 PM on January 11
This week in headlines that write themelves, former Miami Dolphin Fullback Rob Konrad fell of his boat in the Atlantic off the coast of Florida, then swam back to shore. Nine miles.
As you do.
He was swimming for twelve hours and treated for hypothermia and then released after being found on a beach at 4am.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:34 PM on January 09
At the start of the season I may have said out loud "Dallas will be lucky to win four games this year."
Clearly I underestimated how lucky they are.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:47 PM on January 04
"Biggest Play of the Year"
Neither of those videos are available in "my" country. Please describe them in text, using your best Skip Bayless tweet impression.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:22 PM on December 30
Stay classy, Skip.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:01 AM on December 30
Ipswich won 4-2 at third placed Brentford, meaning we were top of the league for 10 minutes, before Bournemouth scored against Fulham.
Mick McCarthy is doing a fantastic job with a team that cost a total of 10,000. People are sniffing around Murphy (14 goals) and Mings (very comfortably replaced multi-million sale Aaron Cresswell), and we had offers in the summer for McGoldrick. If we lose those three then I suspect we'll slip backwards after January, so I have my fingers crossed the Chairman will decide we can afford to ignore offers, at least in this window.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:07 AM on December 27
I first bumped into Scott McLaughlin in online sim racer iRacing, where he was throwing the older Ford Falcon V8 Supercar about, (stick with it after they cut away from Scott-v-Scott, because it's going back to them a couple times). Turns out he was decent at that too.
Shane Van Gisbergen is another Aussie Kiwi who I first saw on iRacing before he appeared in the real life V8 series.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:42 AM on December 18
That's the same thing, right?
I'll show myself out.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:11 PM on December 17
That's good stuff.
Although it needs some "fucked it in first and gave her some Jandal!"
I'd be quite excited after this finish too.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:37 PM on December 17
Exciting signing for the Devils.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:04 PM on December 15
A school holiday event is the only thing keeping me from that epic tilt at EverBank.
That's a shame. If you went in a white jersey you'd probably get to play.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:56 PM on December 15
So the Jacksonville Jaguars are favoured for an actual NFL football game.
It only took a matchup at home against the Titans' third string QB, playing behind two third stringers and a street free agent on the Offensive Line.
Considering how sloppy the short week fixtures can be, this is going to be the best Thursday Night game ever.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:14 PM on December 15
Now we need a Dogecoin Bowl.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:28 AM on December 14
Jeff Fisher sent six Rams players to midfield for the coin toss in today's victory over Washington.
They were the six players the Rams acquired with the draft picks obtained in the RGIII trade.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:43 PM on December 07
Before yesterday's kick off, the Buccs were a win out of a possible first place and a loss out of a possible first overall draft pick.
Fortunately, the Raiders gave up 52 points to a true second coming of The Greatest Show On Turf in the form of offensive legends Shaun Hill, Steadman Bailey and Tre Mason.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:45 PM on December 01
As the sole Ipswich fan around here, I'm honour bound to point out Mariner went the other way - south - to Arsenal. Our biggest deal with Liverpool was for Johnny Wark.
Of course, Wark's biggest deal was when he signed for a German Prison Camp to star in the movie Escape To Victory, with some lesser known footballers like Sylvester Stallone. And Pele.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:49 AM on November 16
Minnows San Marino scored their first ever point in European Nations Cup Qualifying today, as they held Estonia to a 0-0 draw.
The result snapped San Marino's sixty-one game losing streak.
This put the cap on something of a good week for minnows, as Liechtenstein beat Moldova 1-0 and on Friday the Faroe Islands won 1-0 in Greece.
In the moral victory column you can find Gibraltar, who held reigning world champions Germany to "only" a 4-0 scoreline. Meaning Gibraltar are better than Brazil, right?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:39 AM on November 16
Of course, we all know the real goal of the year was scored by Ipswich Town's Under 14 academy team.
Or, to give them their proper name, Bluecelona.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:09 PM on November 14
That Zlatan goal, (and most of his others), should always be shown with commentary, simply because it's great to hear other people react to unbelievable things.
This guy laughing is my favourite one for that goal.
OH HO HO!
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:04 PM on November 14
The English are to blame for everything. I'm surprised we had time to ruin the World Cup bidding process while we were also setting up our grand international conspiracy to push Italians into Luis Suarez's mouth.
This is why we don't have an empire any more. Too busy.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:57 PM on November 13
For people who enjoy playing with silly nicknames, here's Optimus Grimes versus Megatron from yesterday's Detroit-Miami tilt.
There was one offensive pass interference call on Calvin Johnson in the first half where he bumped Grimes and Grimes bounced off him like a small child, but he went on to have about as good a game on Calvin as you can expect from someone giving up seven inches and 46 lbs.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:26 AM on November 10
This game would be closer if the Packers were playing against actual bears.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:38 PM on November 09
After today's games, the English Premier League's Top Five features Southampton, West Ham and Swansea.
Arsenal, Man United, Liverpool and Spurs are all closer in points to last placed Burnley than first placed Chelsea.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:57 PM on November 09
The Washington Football Team have started doing their own jokes now - on the way to the game yesterday their two team buses crashed. Into each other.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:59 AM on November 03
There's a lot of automation in those and sometimes it goes wrong. Today on a long incompletion from Matt Moore, Mike Wallace was credited with a catch for minus 41 yards.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:08 PM on November 02
Knowing they were facing a rookie Quarterback, the Buccaneers threw some defensive looks at the Vikings that Bridgewater had not seen before.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:32 AM on October 29
The part of the academy that agreed deals for Enner Valencia and Sakho for the same amount that Liverpool paid for Balotelli.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:50 PM on October 26
When you sack the backup Quarterback while losing by 25 points, you probably shouldn't celebrate.
Especially if you then injure yourself doing so.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:17 PM on October 26
The Out Of The Park Baseball developers used the 2015 version of their game to run the upcoming World Series five times.
The first series went six games. All the others went seven.
I won't spoil the projected winner, but I will say they posted the stats generated by the five series in a big google doc. If only we knew anyone who liked that sort of thing.
Interestingly, the overall losing team scored more runs across the five series and had a better ERA from the starters and the bullpen.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:35 AM on October 21
So the Dolphins beat the Patriots and folks said they were clearly in decline. The Dolphins beat the Raiders and they fired their coach. The Dolphins beat the Bears and there was apparently a fight in the Bears locker room.
I'm not sure how to feel about this.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:40 PM on October 19
Last year the Seahawks traded 2013 first and seventh round picks and a 2014 third-round pick to the Vikings for Percy Harvin.
Today they traded Harvin to the Jets for a conditional mid-round draft pick.
If he goes lights out for the Jets, then Seattle might get a second round pick in return.
I know the Jets carried a lot of cap space through the off season, but at 1-6, this seems like an odd move. They're not exactly one wide receiver away from anything.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:52 PM on October 17
This was the best thing about the game.
Check out that sweet handwriting.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:00 AM on October 01
"The suspension given to Simmons by ESPN for criticizing Goodell is actually one week longer than the original suspension given to Rice for knocking out his girlfriend in an Atlantic City elevator."
Does anyone know what condition his socks were in?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:00 PM on September 25
A dash of weirdness being added to the Rob Bironas accident, as some university students claim Bironas told them he was going to kill everyone in their car on the night of his death.
This comes after a recording was released of a 911 call claiming Bironas had tried to run a woman and her husband off the road.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:22 PM on September 23
Good news! Dolphins' pass rusher Dion Jordan had his four game suspension for violation of the NFL's Policy and Program on Substances of Abuse lifted as part of the NFL's new drug policy!
Bad news! Dolphins' pass rusher Dion Jordan has been banned for four games for violation of the NFL's Policy and Program on Substances of Abuse after immediately failing another test.
Jeff Ireland's quality work lives on in Miami.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:10 PM on September 20
Antonio Brown has been fined ~$8,000 for that amusing karate kick to the facemask of Browns' Punter Spencer Lanning.
I'd like to point out, again, that this is $2,500 less than Frank Gore was fined last year for having sloppy socks.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:17 PM on September 11
For what it's worth, it's streaming live on ESPN3.com.
Good goal from the Czechs.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:41 PM on September 09
I expect that Goodell will fine him $3.50, and then when he actually watches the video of the kick, he'll fine him $200million.
I seem to remember when Brady did that cleats-up slide into Ed Reed's thigh he was fined $10,000. The same weekend Frank Gore was fined $10,500 for having bad elastic in the top of his socks.
I hope Lanning's socks were in order.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:41 AM on September 09
NFL.com is roughly the only football related site on the internet where you can't see this film.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:10 PM on September 08
2. Just who the heck is going to play LG?
Richie Incognito needs a team.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:19 AM on August 27
who does one root for between MK Dons and Man U? If it's MK Dons
Some kind of asteroid strike?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:04 PM on August 26
Zombie Dee P. Gordon's ERA could have been better.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:58 AM on August 14
Bravo, beaverboard. And what a great movie.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:28 PM on August 13
Germany beat Brazil 5-1 yesterday in the Women's U20 World Cup.
I think it's about time the UN stepped in on this one before the Germans annex Brasilia.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:09 AM on August 13
The IPL happened to India. So much of their every day game is based around attacking bowlers and smashing as many runs as possible. When the game position means they have to stick in and bat as long as possible, even if they're not scoring runs, they seem lost. The field at Lords didn't punish this because it was flat and consistent as a pool table.
But since the travesty of a track at Lords the last two tests have been on classic English pitches, designed for English bowlers swinging the ball around under cloudy skies, and this has coincided with the return to form of a couple English players and an apparent working out of some of the Indian batsmen.
Anderson looks like he owns Kohli now and away-away-in swing to Jadeja looks like it's a free wicket.
It also doesn't hurt that Ali is apparently turning into a "golden arm" - a bowler who's not great, but gets people out for no reason anyone can determine.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:41 PM on August 09
At the Women's U20 World Cup Claire Levogez of France decided to go all James Rodriguez.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:49 AM on August 07
James Rodriguez jumped from Monaco to Madrid today, for about 80 million Euros.
Monaco double their money in a year. Then keep all of it because LOLTaxes.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:51 PM on July 22
Meanwhile, it was a busy German Grand Prix today.
Some Germans showed up with their living room.
Massa went upside down.
Kvyat caught fire.
And three different World Champions drove into Kimi, including this sandwich between Vettel and his own teammate, Alonso...
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:08 PM on July 20
Worth watching to hear the pronunciation of that name.
Although I still want to hear Twellman and Darke have a run at it.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:01 PM on July 20
According to Steven A. Smith this move makes LeBron the "most beloved sportsman in the world."
So it's nice to see we're maintaining perspective.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:16 PM on July 11
"A pretty Belgian fan's photo at the World Cup went viral, landing her a modeling gig."
What a spectacular name.
I'll have to ask Tayler Twellman how to pronounce it.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:14 AM on July 10
Argentina need to lose tomorrow to make sure we have two important games left, not one.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:25 PM on July 08
Germany is up by a touchdown in the 85th minute.
Brazil got a rouge at the end.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:02 PM on July 08
I thought ESPN were showing this game, but they seem to be rerunning The Red Wedding.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:04 PM on July 08
Slightly late for Wimbledon, but: Capybaras That Look Like Rafael Nadal.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:18 AM on July 07
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