the winning US goal came from a debutante
I'd pay to see that. But didn't Morris play in the 4-1 loss to Ireland?
Amusingly, Morris couldn't be given the Man of the Match award, because he's 20 and the award is sponsored by Budweiser.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:03 PM on April 16
In this week's example of how major companies don't understand the internet, Ferrari Formula 1 sponsor UPS asked the internet to provide pictures for an enormous collage that would be put together to make the UPS logo.
This logo would then be prominently pasted onto the Ferrari's sidepods for this weekends Chinese Grand Prix.
Of course, the internet is an enormous jerk, so they managed to sneak in a picture of famous internet celebrity, "dickbutt." Which is the internet's version of "guess what? ... chicken butt." With genitalia. Google at your own risk.
So... here's the logo UPS put on the Ferrari.
It turns out UPS are aware enough that once the story exploded in the darker corners of the web they removed said image from the collage, but the logo was already on the Ferrari.
Later, Sky's Formula 1 coverage picked up the story about how Ferrari have altered the logo of "the brown delivery company" with black marker pen.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:48 AM on April 11
Richie Benaud has died.
Richie's last commentary in England was in 2005, after which he returned to Australia to work on TV there. Not bad for an Aus to be the voice of cricket in England.
He got a nice send off from the crowd at his final test.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:06 PM on April 09
This would be an acceptable alternative to all the arm folding in world sports.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:26 AM on April 06
Disappointed the list of sledges doesn't have the Eddo Brandes classic.
Outside of Jimmy Ormond's best moment international cricket, Mark Waugh also suffered another good one.
I don't remember who it was, but after a bowler beat Mark's outside edge with six straight deliveries, he turned to the Umpire at Square Leg and said, loud enough for Mark to hear, "Clearly he's the adopted one."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:23 AM on March 31
It's the fancy new sticks for this World Cup - the bails light up when they come off the stumps, (it looks cool in night games), and the stumps light up if they're hit by the ball.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:53 AM on March 24
The first Cricket World Cup semi-final was played last night between New Zealand and South Africa and made for an exciting few hours.
A rain break in the middle of the South African innings meant the Duckworth-Lewis Method was invoked - something understood only by theoretical physicists and some members of Duckworth-Lewis.
New Zealand ended up chasing 298 to beat South Africa's 281 and the match went to the wire.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:08 AM on March 24
As a result, if England can get to +63 they will win the title because they have score more tries than the Irish. To do that, they have to beat France by 26 points.
England ended up winning 55-35 - thereby falling six points, (one converted try), short of the margin needed for the title.
As a result, the Irish defended their 2014 victory, while England finish second for the fourth Six Nations tournament in a row.
The full England-France match can be seen here, (starts at the anthems). Kick off is here.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:10 AM on March 22
The last round of the Six Nations is today, with three teams- Wales, Ireland and England - all tied at the top, meaning the destination of the title will be decided by points differential.
Before kick off, France could have won the title with a victory over England by at least eight points, combined with losses for Wales and Ireland, but both of those teams won.
Wales did their part early, by beating Italy 61-20, to end up with a +53 differential. Ireland then beat Scotland 40-10 to complete a Scottish whitewash, (they finish 0-5) and to move to the top of the table with a +63 differential.
As a result, if England can get to +63 they will win the title because they have score more tries than the Irish. To do that, they have to beat France by 26 points.
The score at halftime is England 27-15 France.
Heaven knows the French don't enjoy spoiling England's day...
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:08 PM on March 21
Really good article.
Rafa is one of those Germans who apologise that their English isn't so good.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:53 PM on March 19
Meanwhile, new Ferrari Team Principal Maurizio Arrivabene is a breath of fresh air. While Renault have gone backwards, (which takes some doing), Ferrari's engine is clearly a step up over last year and his attitude has been really great.
Firstly, he's been open to a technical relationship with the new Manor Marussia team, even though Ferrari is still owed money by the old Marussia team, but his quote on the subject was gold - "I said to Graeme, no money, no honey."
Then, during the race when the left rear wheel man couldn't get the nut threaded and Kimi Raikkonen had to pull over and retire from the race, Arrivabene went and found the gunman, to find out what happened and then, when everyone expected an ass-kicking, he just told him "stay calm, keep doing your job, it's going to be fine."
Then after the race when Renault Principal Christian Horner suggested the FIA might want to step in and even up the engines because Mercedes are too good, (and Red Bull even threatened to take their ball home and pull out of the sport), Arrivabene said "Our job is to attack Mercedes on the track. Not change the rules."
Having lived through the Schumacher/Ferrari domination, I'm still not ready to see Ferrari win another title, but this guy has been fun so far.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:23 PM on March 15
The Dolphins have traded Receiver Mike Wallace and a seventh round draft pick to the Minnesota Vikings for a fifth round draft pick.
This is a pure salary dump, as Wallace is due to get $12m next season. With Hartline and Gibson also released, the Dolphins don't have much for Tannehill to throw at next year, outside of 2014 draft pick Jarvis Landry and former Saint Kenny Stills who was acquired today for Danell Ellerbe and a draft pick, (another salary dump, this time of $6m).
Landry had a pretty good season, but isn't really #1 receiver material.
In vaguely-related news, I'm currently GMing the Dolphins in video game "Front Office Football 7" and life is copying me to a weird degree. Firstly, I franchised Charles Clay one night, then woke up the following morning to find the real Phins had done the same. Then I traded Wallace to the Vikings, straight up for a fourth rounder and then used the freed cap space to sign... Ndamukong Suh.
If Jeff Ireland was still in the role I'd suspect he was just copying me.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:52 AM on March 14
It was fun listening to this week's Grantland NFL podcast, as the Jimmy Graham and Sam Bradford trades were announced while they were taping.
This led Mays to say "I'm glad the thing I wrote today had a shelf life of 38 minutes."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:25 AM on March 12
If Bradford doesn't work out they always have Sanchize.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:37 AM on March 11
"Who is going to be the first Herald scribe to dub Ndamukong "Miami Vice"?"
With Cameron Wake already being tabbed as "Earthwake", the correct names are clearly "Earthwake and Suhnami."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:30 PM on March 09
yerfatma should be working for Football Outsiders, as the Pats just re-signed Devin McCourty.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:49 AM on March 09
Good main event - one for boxing fans, in front of a crowd full of people who'd boo 15 rounds of Balboa-Creed.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:57 PM on March 07
That was a very reserved Broner performance. He didn't try to spin Molina around and there wasn't much posing. Hopefully the main event isn't as one-sided.
The main event I watched last week, (UFC), lasted 14 seconds. So I should at least to get to see more of something this weekend.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:52 PM on March 07
Football Outsiders expect Gostkowski's franchising to lead to McCourty hitting Free Agency.
Meanwhile, the Bills traded for Cassel and then traded for the opportunity to give LeSean McCoy a third of their cap space.
Our division might be the Patriots + three clowns punching themselves in the face, but I hope Rex never leaves.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:07 AM on March 06
Finally, I can dunk.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:31 AM on March 02
"helmets all the way down"
I've run into a few "NFL concept helmet" stories in the past couple weeks and my reaction to both has been "if you touch the Bengals helmet, I will cut you."
I actually didn't mind what they did with the background idea here :
The guy who did this series of concepts should probably stop.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:02 PM on February 25
Best thing about that match was the Umpires taking everyone off for a 45 minute lunch break when the Kiwi's were about five minutes away from winning.
England really are dreadful at the one day game.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:49 AM on February 20
For further Calvinball, the full second round Six Nations match between Wales and Scotland is available on youtube here.
Anthems start here (always worth watching "Flower of Scotland" in Scotland).
Game starts here.
The game features an excellent beard-off, between Jake Ball and Geoff Cross.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:04 AM on February 18
You're right about the runner in the "end zone." Where you touch the ball down is where the kick has to be taken from, so if you score in the corner, then the kicker has to take the kick from way out on the sideline. The kicker can choose to move the ball back as far as he wants, to open the angle.
As a result, runners will get across the try line and then attempt to run under the posts before touching the ball down to make the conversion as easy as possible.
Unlike a touchdown a try actually has to be touched down, so if a defender can tackle you to the ground and keep you pinned and up so you can't down the ball then that isn't a score. It's quite rare and usually happens when an attacker is diving for the try line, rather than already over it, but the defenders will trot over anyway, just to keep you honest.
As for the penalty on the ground, (that mess of people is called a "Ruck"), there are several and can be called on both sides. Firstly, when you're tackled down you have to release the ball. When Wales screw up that throw in and the England forward intercepts he gets isolated and when tackled there's no one around to take the ball, so he holds it a fraction too long, hoping for his backs to catch up and gets penalised.
Later, one of the Welsh players gets called for reaching into a ruck and picking up the ball with a knee on the ground, because you aren't allowed to touch the ball unless you're supporting your own weight.
Rucks have a thousand rules around how you're allowed to join in, who's allowed to touch the ball and when and the offside rules in Rugby are labyrinthine to say the least.
I also really like how the officiating is done in Rugby Union. The Referee is in constant communication about what he's seeing and what he wants cleaned up. He clearly tells teams to keep their hands clear, or where they're not allowed to stand and he'll communicate infractions he has seen through a team's Captain... warning a Captain that he needs to have his player stop twisting the scrum or stop joining the ruck from the wrong angle, or stop this or that behaviour or it'll lead to a penalty.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:29 PM on February 07
Full coverage of the opening Six Nations game between Wales and England is (currently) available on youtube, featuring an opening sequence by someone who's watched Game of Thrones.
[jokes about a red wedding goes here]
Anthems are at ~36 minutes, with the game starting at ~40 minutes.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:54 AM on February 07
The Six Nations starts tomorrow.
Last year, a decent England side beat Ireland, Wales and Scotland to claim the Triple Crown, but a fantastic performance in Paris took the title for Ireland. This year, the bookies have Ireland, England and Wales practically inseparable, even if partly because England have three home games.
Here's some footage of the 2014 championship.
Musical Montage Time.
Coverage is available on BeIn Sports in the US, or ESPN in Spanish in Central America, or your usual nefarious Other Sources'.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:40 PM on February 06
Very large image of all Formula 1 cars 1950 to 2004.
That Cooper T66 was the first F1 car my Dad worked on, as an engineer for Phil Hill.
Here's some highlights from the British Grand Prix that year. Sadly they cut off way too early, as that was the only race Hill scored a point at in '64.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:30 PM on February 03
'Arry has resigned from QPR. Apparently because he needs a knee operation and not because his side are second bottom with the worst away record in the league since 1954.
If QPR are relegated back to the Football League at the end of the season, they're expected to face a fine of up to £40,000,000 for failing the League's football fair play rules during their one season there.
If they don't pay or renegotiate the fine they could be refused entry to the league and become the first club to be relegated from the Premier League all the way down into the Conference.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:09 AM on February 03
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:58 AM on February 02
On the one yard line with Marshawn on your team...
Pete Carroll finally won a Superbowl for the Patriots.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:02 PM on February 01
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:00 AM on February 01
"Rob Gronkowski is not afraid of making a buck off the situation."
Unrelatedly, I saw another Gronk shirt that said:
"Gronk know only three things :
Touchdowns and fucking."
Even as a Dolphins fan I almost bought that.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:25 AM on January 22
Bill is furious to hear 11 of the 12 balls were underinflated.
He wants to know who didn't do their job with the 12th ball. That guy is fired.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:22 PM on January 21
Yep, he gets the Bills' $4m for doing nothing. Or being an Offensive coach for Jacksonville. Whichever takes less work.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:21 PM on January 20
Doug Marrone used his option to escape the Head Coach role in Buffalo, enabling him to take up an exciting new opportunity... as Offensive Line Coach in Jacksonville.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:29 PM on January 20
The Jets have hired Arizona DC, (and former Dolphins' interim head coach), Todd Bowles to be their new leader. Heaven knows hiring a defensive specialist hasn't gone wrong for them before.
Meanwhile, Rex Ryan finally gets his wish to lead a New York football team, as he's in in Buffalo.
In Florida, Miami Head Coach Joe Philbin cooked a pancake without burning it.
Prediction : New England to win the AFC East in 2015.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:15 AM on January 14
Touching moment of sympathy from the Arsenal fans toward their visitors from Stoke today.
After the Emirates Stadium PA backed up Arsenal's third goal with the announcement that the trains back to Stoke had been cancelled, home fans all began to sing "you're shit and you can't get home."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:35 PM on January 11
This week in headlines that write themelves, former Miami Dolphin Fullback Rob Konrad fell of his boat in the Atlantic off the coast of Florida, then swam back to shore. Nine miles.
As you do.
He was swimming for twelve hours and treated for hypothermia and then released after being found on a beach at 4am.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:34 PM on January 09
At the start of the season I may have said out loud "Dallas will be lucky to win four games this year."
Clearly I underestimated how lucky they are.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:47 PM on January 04
"Biggest Play of the Year"
Neither of those videos are available in "my" country. Please describe them in text, using your best Skip Bayless tweet impression.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:22 PM on December 30
Stay classy, Skip.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:01 AM on December 30
Ipswich won 4-2 at third placed Brentford, meaning we were top of the league for 10 minutes, before Bournemouth scored against Fulham.
Mick McCarthy is doing a fantastic job with a team that cost a total of 10,000. People are sniffing around Murphy (14 goals) and Mings (very comfortably replaced multi-million sale Aaron Cresswell), and we had offers in the summer for McGoldrick. If we lose those three then I suspect we'll slip backwards after January, so I have my fingers crossed the Chairman will decide we can afford to ignore offers, at least in this window.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:07 AM on December 27
I first bumped into Scott McLaughlin in online sim racer iRacing, where he was throwing the older Ford Falcon V8 Supercar about, (stick with it after they cut away from Scott-v-Scott, because it's going back to them a couple times). Turns out he was decent at that too.
Shane Van Gisbergen is another Aussie Kiwi who I first saw on iRacing before he appeared in the real life V8 series.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:42 AM on December 18
That's the same thing, right?
I'll show myself out.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:11 PM on December 17
That's good stuff.
Although it needs some "fucked it in first and gave her some Jandal!"
I'd be quite excited after this finish too.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:37 PM on December 17
Exciting signing for the Devils.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:04 PM on December 15
A school holiday event is the only thing keeping me from that epic tilt at EverBank.
That's a shame. If you went in a white jersey you'd probably get to play.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:56 PM on December 15
So the Jacksonville Jaguars are favoured for an actual NFL football game.
It only took a matchup at home against the Titans' third string QB, playing behind two third stringers and a street free agent on the Offensive Line.
Considering how sloppy the short week fixtures can be, this is going to be the best Thursday Night game ever.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:14 PM on December 15
Now we need a Dogecoin Bowl.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:28 AM on December 14
Jeff Fisher sent six Rams players to midfield for the coin toss in today's victory over Washington.
They were the six players the Rams acquired with the draft picks obtained in the RGIII trade.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:43 PM on December 07
Before yesterday's kick off, the Buccs were a win out of a possible first place and a loss out of a possible first overall draft pick.
Fortunately, the Raiders gave up 52 points to a true second coming of The Greatest Show On Turf in the form of offensive legends Shaun Hill, Steadman Bailey and Tre Mason.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:45 PM on December 01
As the sole Ipswich fan around here, I'm honour bound to point out Mariner went the other way - south - to Arsenal. Our biggest deal with Liverpool was for Johnny Wark.
Of course, Wark's biggest deal was when he signed for a German Prison Camp to star in the movie Escape To Victory, with some lesser known footballers like Sylvester Stallone. And Pele.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:49 AM on November 16
Minnows San Marino scored their first ever point in European Nations Cup Qualifying today, as they held Estonia to a 0-0 draw.
The result snapped San Marino's sixty-one game losing streak.
This put the cap on something of a good week for minnows, as Liechtenstein beat Moldova 1-0 and on Friday the Faroe Islands won 1-0 in Greece.
In the moral victory column you can find Gibraltar, who held reigning world champions Germany to "only" a 4-0 scoreline. Meaning Gibraltar are better than Brazil, right?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:39 AM on November 16
Of course, we all know the real goal of the year was scored by Ipswich Town's Under 14 academy team.
Or, to give them their proper name, Bluecelona.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:09 PM on November 14
That Zlatan goal, (and most of his others), should always be shown with commentary, simply because it's great to hear other people react to unbelievable things.
This guy laughing is my favourite one for that goal.
OH HO HO!
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:04 PM on November 14
The English are to blame for everything. I'm surprised we had time to ruin the World Cup bidding process while we were also setting up our grand international conspiracy to push Italians into Luis Suarez's mouth.
This is why we don't have an empire any more. Too busy.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:57 PM on November 13
For people who enjoy playing with silly nicknames, here's Optimus Grimes versus Megatron from yesterday's Detroit-Miami tilt.
There was one offensive pass interference call on Calvin Johnson in the first half where he bumped Grimes and Grimes bounced off him like a small child, but he went on to have about as good a game on Calvin as you can expect from someone giving up seven inches and 46 lbs.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:26 AM on November 10
This game would be closer if the Packers were playing against actual bears.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:38 PM on November 09
After today's games, the English Premier League's Top Five features Southampton, West Ham and Swansea.
Arsenal, Man United, Liverpool and Spurs are all closer in points to last placed Burnley than first placed Chelsea.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:57 PM on November 09
The Washington Football Team have started doing their own jokes now - on the way to the game yesterday their two team buses crashed. Into each other.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:59 AM on November 03
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