So this is a thing that happened.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:52 PM on February 10
beaverboard, your prediction wasn't crazy enough.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:31 PM on February 05
Pronger's in trouble with the league again.
They can't work out if they should fine him or give him a car.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:27 PM on January 30
I'm not sure the league and owners care about fans in the building too much any more.
I'm sure they'll say they do, as the minimum effort required to get some people through the door because it looks good in the back of the TV shots and because tickets and beer is extra gravy poured on top of a giant pile of money, but I'm pretty sure the meal tastes fine without it.
Hence mention of the team going to the 30,000 capacity StubHub for two years.
I presume having teams in LA, (and Las Vegas), allows the league to ask for much more in the TV deals when those contracts come up again. If it lets the league throw a dollar onto the per-potential-viewer fee for the LA market then the teams could play in empty stadiums and still make everyone more money.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:08 PM on January 12
Penalties are amazing. Whenever a game I'm neutral about gets near to 90 minutes I fervently hope for an evenly-spread number of goals in extra time so I can watch people crack under pressure on live television.
Yes, I'm looking at you, Zaza, (among very illustrious others).
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:56 PM on January 12
In the 1990 world cup the Irish and Dutch ended up dead level with three draws from three games and two goals for and against, so they drew lots.
The luck of the Irish won which sent the Dutch into the second round against arch-rivals Germany.
At the time, various European countries limited the number of foreign players on domestic teams to three. As a result, Inter Milan had three Germans, (Matthaus, Brehme and Klinsmann) and AC Milan had three Dutch players (Gullit, van Basten and Rijkaard) and the game was in the San Siro in Milan, which added some extra spice.
This is the game where German forward Rudi Voller and Rijkaard were both red carded for, among other things, repeatedly spitting on each other. Germany ended up winning 2-1.
The Irish ended up facing Romania which was a big deal for our family as most of them are from Cork and this was Ireland's first world cup. The game was pretty good despite ending up 0-0 and then 0-0 at the end of extra time.
Then came the penalty shootout.
The deep V on the Romanian shirts is really something.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:00 PM on January 10
""This football promotion, in many parts of the world where today they have no chance to play [at the World Cup], was at the top of our thoughts."
According to Fifa research, revenue is predicted to increase to 5.29bn for a 48-team tournament, giving a potential profit rise of 521m."
Those sentences are back-to-back in the story on the BBC, who aren't saying, they're just saying...
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:22 PM on January 10
In other Americans-being-fired news, 85 days after he became the first American Manager in English Premier League history, Bob Bradley becomes the first American manager fired from the English Premier League.
A familiar refrain of American soccer detractors is that the sport doesn't feature enough scoring. Bradley attempted to fix that as his Swansea side allowed 29 goals in his 11 games.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:50 PM on December 27
So the Buccaneers can still make the playoffs this year, provided all the following happens:
Bucs win versus Panthers
Colts win versus Jags
Cowboys win versus Eagles
Lions win versus Packers
Titans win versus Texans
Niners win versus Seahawks
Washington and NY Giants tie
Washington and NY Giants tie
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:24 PM on December 27
Rex wanted feet, but just got the boot.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:04 PM on December 27
Anyone buying lifelike dolls would not get a Ryan Tannehill doll if there were Lauren Tannehill dolls available.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:05 AM on December 27
Tannehill, Mariota and Carr all injured.
How do we blame the Patriots for this?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:44 PM on December 25
Warning : needs sound and features a naughty word
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:14 AM on December 20
The only recap of the Buffalo vs Cleveland football game you need to read.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:07 PM on December 19
Favourite play of the day.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:56 AM on November 28
The problem with the Germans is they have no sense of humour.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:42 PM on November 01
Would anyone really miss Thursday Night Football? Even the Jaguars didn't watch last night's game.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:09 PM on October 28
Felix Passlack ladies and gentlemen.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:22 PM on October 27
Dolphin Runningback Jay Ajayi doesn't have any 100 yard rushing games in his career, but he now has two 200 yard rushing games in back-to-back weeks.
After the 214 yards this week and 204 last week, Ajayi's third-best single game performance is six carries for 48 yards against the Eagles in week two last season.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:14 PM on October 24
- If he doesn't touch the ball, then the play continues as it is and the Packers start deep in their own endzone (like they would have if he hadn't tried any trickery).
Kickoffs are a live ball the second it goes ten yards. If Montgomery doesn't touch the ball it's a Detroit touchdown.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:36 PM on September 27
Sam Allardyce becomes the first England manager to complete his tenure in the role with a 100% record.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:26 PM on September 27
Jose gave us one of the best baseball gifs ever.
Did you catch that?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:55 PM on September 25
From today's text coverage of Crystal Palace vs Tottenham.
"Spurs midfielder Eric Dier is in agony after Connor Wickham absolutely blasted the ball into his special adult area from a couple of feet away."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:39 AM on August 20
That was the semi-final which, I imagine, is why they're a bit happier to goof about.
Bolt said that DeGrasse was supposed to slow down a bit at the end, as it's only a semi, but DeGrasse said he was just trying to stop Usain from being lazy.
Both fastest losers came out of this heat, which meant that Justin Gatlin failed to qualify for the final from third place in his heat.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:04 AM on August 18
Usain Bolt tells off Andre DeGrasse for trying to beat him.
How does it feel if you're in third-to-eighth watching the two guys up front flirt with each other as they cross the line?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:21 AM on August 18
Iceland played like this in the Euros, and they were lauded as courageous and heroic
Cristiano Ronaldo hits out at "small" Iceland after Portugal are held.
At least Hope's in good company.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:15 AM on August 14
I'm not sure this is legal and I'm not sure I care.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:39 AM on August 03
Shouldn't that be "Yeah no, Nah? Yeah."?
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:17 PM on July 27
Mowed into someone's field during the Tour today.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:28 PM on July 18
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:13 AM on July 11
One of the things I've been most disappointed by about Belgium in this tournament is the lack of new Axelle Despiegelaere pictures.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:20 PM on July 01
Portugal become the first team to reach the semi-finals of the Euros without winning any of their games.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:15 PM on June 30
North Irish fans welcome home the Northern Ireland team, including a certain Forward...
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:03 PM on June 28
Well, I can actually enjoy the tournament now, after that hilarious clusterfuck. I guess England are really commited to pulling out of Europe.
England didn't qualify for the first tournament I saw as a kid - the '78 World Cup - but I've been enjoying this garbage for 36 years now. This should result in changes at the FA, but absolutely won't and we'll go on being an hilarious calamity at major tournaments.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:55 PM on June 27
I think I said that the other day when he ran over to the Irish coaching staff to celebrate their victory, (as both teams were through), that he was a really easy guy to root for, "accidental-fascism aside."
He says it was accidental and I WANT TO BELIEVE.
I'd like to see Buffon over here, but he's already 38 and he's still playing at a high enough level that he doesn't have a reason to leave Serie A. Dino Zoff was still turning out for Juventus and Italy at 41 before riding off into the sunset (with a cigarette), so it wouldn't surprise me to see Buffon do the same.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:33 PM on June 27
I thought that was an excellent game, if you like things like high level technical play and adroit adoption of clever tactical plans.
Fortunately, England are up next to cleanse the palate and show everyone how football should really be played.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:56 PM on June 27
It was clever of Eden Hazard to take nine months off of playing football so he'd be fresh for this tournament.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:30 PM on June 27
Coming to a complete stop during the run up is illegal and warrants a booking, but they're called about as often as foul throw ins. Mostly if the ref is in a bad mood or the "stutter" is especially egregious then he'll order a retake.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:43 PM on June 25
Shaqiri's kicks don't lie.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:52 PM on June 25
About a third of the way into this video of Irish celebrations today a wild Buffon shows up to congratulate Keane and O'Neill, which was a very nice touch, I thought.
Stop being so likable, Buffon*!
*Accidental fascism aside.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:48 PM on June 22
That goal was really something too - the Austrians had been knocking on the door for about 15 minutes, forcing Iceland to play on the lip of their own area and so many of Iceland's players are running on fumes and muscle memory.
Then Iceland's #8 Bjarnasson clears the ball upfield, looks up and sees nothing but green and musters some sort of Viking demon power to sprint the length of the field. Ultimately he didn't reach the pass, but at least he was there to be first to celebrate with Traustason.
Also, much more importantly, Iceland finally used three subs whose names ended in "son" today, giving them the full 14 "sons" possible.
They'd got close a couple times, but in the first game they only used two subs and in the second their final sub was Eidur Godjohnsen. Now they've finally set the record that can't be beat until the rules of the game itself are changed.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:20 PM on June 22
I imagining an Iceland victory on Monday and this guy going full on Bjorge Lillelien.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:30 PM on June 22
Literally zero added time at the end of 90 too. The Ref stopped the fight.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:17 AM on June 19
The Northern Ireland - Ukraine was suspended for a few minutes due to hail...
Then it wasn't quite "Arconada... Armstrong!" but "Pyatov... McGinn!" will still start a proper party.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:01 PM on June 16
The Italy-Belgium game was great. Any day I get to see Chiellini booked for a cynical foul is a good day.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:57 PM on June 13
Continuing from Douglas Adams' book, today marks the start of probably the "Last Chance To See" Zlatan at a major tournament.
Up front, Ireland have got former Ipswich Captain John Walters, called "The Irish Zlatan" by literally no one.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:03 PM on June 13
"Slawomir Peszko has four kidneys" may have been the most interesting part of the Poland-Northern Ireland game.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:47 PM on June 12
So this happened.
The Colombia-Paraguay coin toss landed on neither heads nor tails...
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:37 AM on June 08
That one game earned a bit more for Hull, (~140m), than Madrid's entire Champions League run to final victory (15m for the final alone, 94m for the entire run from group stage to victory).
If Wednesday had won the prize would have been more than double Madrid's.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:09 PM on May 28
Portland Timbers "welcomed" Vancouver this weekend in MLS...
If you zoom in, everyone in the crowd has tinfoil hats on.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:34 AM on May 23
Hopefully I don't jinx the second half just by tuning in like I did yesterday.
It's not much of a superpower, but it's what I got.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:44 PM on May 17
Derby County lost their Championship playoff semi final first leg 3-0 to Hull City. No team in Championship playoff history has ever come back losing the first leg 2-0 to win, but Derby are trying to go even better, as they lead Hull 2-0 at half time in the second leg.
Away goals don't count double in the playoffs until the end of extra time, so if Hull manage to grab one on the break the game wouldn't automatically be over.
Hopefully I don't jinx the second half just by tuning in like I did yesterday.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:48 PM on May 17
Listened to the Brighton-Sheffield Wednesday Playoff Semi-Final 2nd Leg tonight and after a frantic first half both the commentators and text commentary on the BBC said "there's no way there won't be goals in this one in the second half!"
So I found a way to watch the second half and, of course... no goals.
Congrats to rcade's Wednesday side though for making the final. The playoffs are a funny thing - Wednesday probably had the worst form of the four sides going in and they've gone through, meanwhile Derby did the double over Hull during the season but they lost the first leg of the other semi-final 3-0.
If Wednesday do manage to go up they'll be the second Thai-owned Premiership team, joining Leicester City who just about avoided relegation this season.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:52 PM on May 16
The Guardian's Premier League 2015-2016 Best and Worst has an exquisite quote about how much ground is covered by Leicester City's N'Golo Kante.
"No matter who we're playing, we play three in midfield - Drinkwater in the middle and Kant either side."
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:06 PM on May 16
Chelsea and Tottenham have been charged by the Football Association with three offences of failing to control their players and officials both during and after Monday's match.
As expected, there's also a charge of violent conduct against Dembele for his attempted eye-gouge on Diego Costa
posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:49 PM on May 04
Aw, I was like Ranieri ... I had a doctor's appointment so I didn't see the match! Guess I'll have to stumble upon some videos.
Dembele will probably get a retroactive suspension, (to join Dele Alli from last week), and Eric Dier should almost certainly have gone for his late tackle that was very worthy of a second yellow card.
Chelsea fans were singing "Leicester! Champions!" and the Spurs players lost control. Pochettino had to run onto the field twice to pull his players out of confrontations, Guus Hiddink got shoved to the ground after the match and there was the usual handbags-at-dawn style fight around the tunnel area immediately after the final whistle.
It was great.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:24 PM on May 03
As a fan of a lower-division English club (Ipswich)
There are dozens of us!
I'm also delighted for Leicester for that reason and because it means we've still won the title more recently than Spurs.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:39 PM on May 02
I hope whoever it was that kidnapped Eden Hazard for seven months wasn't a Spurs fan. If so, they let him out a week too early.
Spurs did win the yellow card battle 9-3 though. And probably should have won that 11-3 with two red cards. They completely lost control as the championship slipped away.
The fight around the tunnel after the final whistle was a nice touch too.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:05 PM on May 02
Same as last year, the Patriots can go 3-1 with Janeane Garofalo at Quarterback.
They could probably win the division if Brady took 16 games off.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:31 PM on April 25
Spanish third division striker Javi Gomez dared to Zlatan.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:01 PM on April 24
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