Recent Comments by Mr Bismarck

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Portland Timbers "welcomed" Vancouver this weekend in MLS...

If you zoom in, everyone in the crowd has tinfoil hats on.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:34 AM on May 23

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Hopefully I don't jinx the second half just by tuning in like I did yesterday.

It's not much of a superpower, but it's what I got.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:44 PM on May 17

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Derby County lost their Championship playoff semi final first leg 3-0 to Hull City. No team in Championship playoff history has ever come back losing the first leg 2-0 to win, but Derby are trying to go even better, as they lead Hull 2-0 at half time in the second leg.

Away goals don't count double in the playoffs until the end of extra time, so if Hull manage to grab one on the break the game wouldn't automatically be over.

Hopefully I don't jinx the second half just by tuning in like I did yesterday.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:48 PM on May 17

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Listened to the Brighton-Sheffield Wednesday Playoff Semi-Final 2nd Leg tonight and after a frantic first half both the commentators and text commentary on the BBC said "there's no way there won't be goals in this one in the second half!"

So I found a way to watch the second half and, of course... no goals.

Congrats to rcade's Wednesday side though for making the final. The playoffs are a funny thing - Wednesday probably had the worst form of the four sides going in and they've gone through, meanwhile Derby did the double over Hull during the season but they lost the first leg of the other semi-final 3-0.

If Wednesday do manage to go up they'll be the second Thai-owned Premiership team, joining Leicester City who just about avoided relegation this season.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:52 PM on May 16

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

The Guardian's Premier League 2015-2016 Best and Worst has an exquisite quote about how much ground is covered by Leicester City's N'Golo Kante.

"No matter who we're playing, we play three in midfield - Drinkwater in the middle and Kant either side."

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:06 PM on May 16

Leicester City One Step Closer to Immortality

Chelsea and Tottenham have been charged by the Football Association with three offences of failing to control their players and officials both during and after Monday's match.

As expected, there's also a charge of violent conduct against Dembele for his attempted eye-gouge on Diego Costa

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:49 PM on May 04

Leicester City One Step Closer to Immortality

Aw, I was like Ranieri ... I had a doctor's appointment so I didn't see the match! Guess I'll have to stumble upon some videos.

Dembele will probably get a retroactive suspension, (to join Dele Alli from last week), and Eric Dier should almost certainly have gone for his late tackle that was very worthy of a second yellow card.

Chelsea fans were singing "Leicester! Champions!" and the Spurs players lost control. Pochettino had to run onto the field twice to pull his players out of confrontations, Guus Hiddink got shoved to the ground after the match and there was the usual handbags-at-dawn style fight around the tunnel area immediately after the final whistle.

It was great.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:24 PM on May 03

Leicester City One Step Closer to Immortality

As a fan of a lower-division English club (Ipswich)

There are dozens of us!

I'm also delighted for Leicester for that reason and because it means we've still won the title more recently than Spurs.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:39 PM on May 02

Leicester City One Step Closer to Immortality

I hope whoever it was that kidnapped Eden Hazard for seven months wasn't a Spurs fan. If so, they let him out a week too early.

Spurs did win the yellow card battle 9-3 though. And probably should have won that 11-3 with two red cards. They completely lost control as the championship slipped away.

The fight around the tunnel after the final whistle was a nice touch too.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:05 PM on May 02

Tom Brady's 4-Game Suspension Reinstated for DeflateGate

Same as last year, the Patriots can go 3-1 with Janeane Garofalo at Quarterback.

They could probably win the division if Brady took 16 games off.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:31 PM on April 25

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Spanish third division striker Javi Gomez dared to Zlatan.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:01 PM on April 24

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Cheltenham Town really deceived everyone with this free kick routine...

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:53 AM on February 22

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Suarez does have his foot in the D and it would have been almost as funny if Suarez's greed had caused a re-take, considering the pass wasn't even for him, but I'd still put my money on Messi for that re-take.

I'm also prepared to overlook one foot in the D to a degree, considering Celta's Josep Sene had done a tap-dance in the D and was all the way into the area before Messi took the kick.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:02 PM on February 15

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I can't take Hudson for a full game, but to move from Isaac Newton to Facebook to Twitter to King Lear in three minutes of commentary is solid work.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:50 AM on February 15

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Apologies, I forgot to tag it with "WARNING: RAY HUDSON"

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:32 AM on February 15

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Barcelona mostly just taking the piss now.

Previously.

In the build up to that, Neymar did this and then eventually Messi did this before he did that.

Better yet, apparently the assist was meant to be for Neymar, but Luis was on a hattrick...

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:04 PM on February 14

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Duck.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:14 PM on February 09

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

It has been a year since we we received this gift...

Pressure's on, SUPERBOWLL half time show.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:32 PM on February 07

Denver Beats New England to Reach Super Bowl 50

"Instead Denver throw the ball on second and third down, if not all three downs"

"Three passing plays when you're trying to chew up clock? Isn't that how coaches get fired?"

"In your scenario, ("don't-get-fired-three-runs-and-a-punt")"

"I didn't suggest three straight rushes. I advocated against three straight passing plays. A<>B in this case."

You're not suggesting they run three times, or pass three times, and they actually did run twice. In real life. In the game that actually happened.

So your suggestion is they run only once instead? Because three passes gets you fired, but two are fine?

I understand the attraction of "what if!?" for sports fans and can happily go along with something like "what if Detroit remembered to defend the end zone against Green Bay!?" Because, (Detroit being a functioning football team aside), it's a reasonable question about a solitary event.

"What if my team kicked field goals while the other team completely ignored these new conditions" in game with six minutes, five timeouts and a two minute warning left clunked really loudly when I read it in the thread.

I'm sorry I picked it up and I would now like to get off this wild ride.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:56 PM on January 25

Denver Beats New England to Reach Super Bowl 50

Running up the middle twice, then throwing sideline and then punting gave the ball to New England at the 50 with one timeout and 1:52 left.

In your scenario, ("don't-get-fired-three-runs-and-a-punt"), even if you cause New England to use their final timeout, the Patriots now have to gain a whopping 17 yards in ~100 seconds to have a chance to win the game.

"Chewing up clock" at your own 20 with a two point lead and at least four clock stoppages to come doesn't involve running into the line three times with a completely ineffectual ground game, it involves getting a first down. Which, for Denver yesterday, means throwing*.

I'll concede that if New England score three more points yesterday, they win, because that's the way maths works, but the second New England make (or miss!) that first kick everything that follows changes.


*50% of Denver's rushing first downs yesterday came from Peyton ambling 12 yards at an amusingly glacial pace.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:11 PM on January 25

Denver Beats New England to Reach Super Bowl 50

"Denver's script after the first two drives (assuming no touchdown) would have probably been pretty much the same: chew up the clock, hold onto the ball, get a couple of first downs."

I don't agree.

Getting the ball back on your 20 with the two minute warning and three opponent timeouts to come doesn't lead to two straight runs up the middle and a sideline throw if you're only two points ahead.

Instead Denver throw the ball on second and third down, if not all three downs, convert for a first down, get to the two minute warning and then run into the line twice, cause New England to use its timeouts and Brady never has another serious chance.

Or, if you prefer, the reason the Pats have to go for two at the end is because Gostkwoski already missed from 32 in the game. So he also misses one of these three extra field goals we're giving him.

This fantasy football stuff is fun!

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:11 PM on January 25

Denver Beats New England to Reach Super Bowl 50

[Patriot Field Goal Speculation]

We're into butterfly wing territory here though. You can't rewrite the last six minutes of a football game and only change one team's script.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:12 AM on January 25

Denver Beats New England to Reach Super Bowl 50

When Marcus Cannon shook Von Miller's hand at the end it was the first time he touched Miller all day.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:37 AM on January 25

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Tom Brady in, The Manning.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:13 AM on January 21

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

I think I just saw a Damon Lindelof-written movie pretending to be an NFL game.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:41 PM on January 16

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:15 PM on January 14

Steelers Coach Should've Been Flagged for Being on Field

Joey Porter went on to the field to enquire if Cincinnati would help Pittsburgh to win the game. The answer was "yes."

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:07 AM on January 10

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Bucky Brooks on NFL.com on Wednesday...

"Biggest weaknesses: The Bengals lack a glaring weakness from a personnel standpoint, but their emotional control and discipline could prevent them from moving on in the tournament. The defense, in particular, is loaded with temperamental playmakers (like Vontaze Burfict and Adam Jones) with high-revving emotions. While the unit plays on a string on each level, the occasional lack of discipline and emotional control has resulted in Cincinnati ranking near the top of the NFL in penalties. Given the significant impact of penalties, particularly personal fouls, the Bengals must keep their cool or run the risk of short-circuiting their playoff run via a lack of composure."

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:52 AM on January 10

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Adam Zampa sniffs out a wicket.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:27 PM on January 09

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

This is the same Cleveland Browns who fired analytics-favouring Joe Banner sometime during/after his deep dive into the 2014 draft Quarterback pool said the Browns should target Teddy Bridgewater, while also rating highly Derek Carr and Blake Bortles. Banner's report put a red flag on Manziel.

Bortles went #3 overall, but the Browns drafted Manziel ten spots before Bridgewater and 13 spots before Carr. Banner was let go in February 2014 before the draft.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:25 PM on January 05

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Since 1997 the Dallas Cowboys are 152-152.

Meanwhile, Dan Carpenter missed an extra point for Buffalo today. Then his accuracy improved.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:36 AM on January 04

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Curry and Casspi activate cheat mode.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:39 PM on December 29

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Leicester City become the first team in Premiership history to be bottom of the league one Christmas and top of the league the next Christmas.

Just like everyone predicted.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:54 PM on December 19

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

So that 14 second Ronda Rousey victory is no longer the shortest title bout in UFC history.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:11 AM on December 13

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:18 PM on December 04

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

Oh, Lions.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:26 AM on December 04

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

The end to Monday Night Football may be the Brownsiest thing I've ever seen.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:54 PM on November 30

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

Ipswich Town with a classic Championship goal against Charlton yesterday. Championship tiki taka.

Cloughie wouldn't be happy.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:34 AM on November 29

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

Missed opportunity to be Bismarcks.

Also, scroll through the non-consideration list and be completely unsurprised by how frequently "Fighting Sioux" shows up.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:36 PM on November 19

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

So this just happened.

"3rd & 3 on PHI 27 (5:11) (No Huddle, Shotgun) S.Bradford to PHI 17 for -10 yards (D.Shelby). FUMBLES (D.Shelby), RECOVERED by MIA-O.Vernon at PHI 12. O.Vernon to PHI 7 for 5 yards (D.Kelly). FUMBLES (D.Kelly), RECOVERED by PHI-S.Bradford at PHI 3. S.Bradford to PHI 27 for 24 yards (O.Vernon). PENALTY on PHI-A.Barbre, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at PHI 27 - No Play. Miami challenged the loose ball recovery ruling, and the play was REVERSED. (No Huddle, Shotgun) S.Bradford to PHI 17 for -10 yards (D.Shelby). FUMBLES (D.Shelby), and recovers at PHI 3. S.Bradford to PHI 3 for no gain (O.Vernon). Penalty on PHI-A.Barbre, Offensive Holding, declined"

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:33 PM on November 15

Holly Holm Knocks Out Ronda Rousey in Huge UFC Upset

The Ronda Rousey hype train just totally derailed in Australia.

Holly Holm's takedown defence was good enough and then striking technique was more than Rousey could handle.

Rousey refused to touch gloves before the bell, which is entertaining the fans of schadenfreude.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:08 AM on November 15

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

I can't watch a highlight on the "World" version of ESPN about a game in Europe because I'm Canadian.

Canadians: can get a hit here.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 02:01 PM on November 02

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Here's that final Final try from the Kiwis.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:07 PM on October 31

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

That final New Zealand try was a really spectacular dagger.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:57 PM on October 31

SportsFilter: The Saturday Huddle

Breaking : New Zealand good at rugby.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:27 PM on October 31

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle

Alexander Burmitsov disagrees with the refer... ehhhh, ok, maybe you got me.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:12 PM on October 27

SportsFilter: The Thursday Huddle

ESPN is successfully ruining Grantland.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:26 AM on October 22

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

Aren't those clever fans just too cute? Having such fun, and so pleased with themselves.

Please note what's missing from the phone. The time and date.

People enjoying themselves are such jerks!

I feel like I'm missing a point here, but the time is on the "screen."

Maybe next week they can bring the behind the scenes conversation that led to that fake punt.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:02 AM on October 19

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:00 AM on October 19

SportsFilter: The Sunday Huddle

I still don't know what this was.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:23 PM on October 18

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

England are playing cricket against Pakistan in Abu Dhabi at the moment and for folks who think baseball goes on a bit, English Captain Alastair Cook was at bat for 13 hours and 56 minutes, scoring 263 runs.

According to the BBC, more than 215,000 babies were born while he was batting. The ones who were born when he first went in to bat are probably in school now.

It's the longest ever innings, by time, for an English batsman, but only the third longest in test history.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:55 PM on October 16

SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle

So, this happened.

His stuck done got stuck.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:03 AM on October 16

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

Not sure if this has been linked already, but this was an enjoyable piece of writing about whatever that was that happened yesterday.

"Maybe this is the tip-off that something crazy was bound to happen. A "well-played elimination game between the Rangers and Blue Jays?" In what bizarro universe are we living when that is the situation?

We are in a universe where the Cubs are are not only in the playoffs, but they're the ones WAITING to see who they get to play."

...

"Kevin Pillar sounds like the name Kevin Millar gave to the cops when they caught him drinking a beer at a house party when he was 17. "I'm Kevin Pillar.""

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:17 PM on October 15

SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle

England are leading 2-0 at half time against Lithuania tonight, courtesy of a second goal that went in off the goalie's head.

This means "Own Goal" now has 50 goals for England, moving back into a tie with Wayne Rooney for all time leading England scorer.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:48 PM on October 12

Fifa Suspends Blatter and Platini

May I nominate, for the FIFA positions and board, us? Surely we couldn't harm the world in the way this crew has.

Speak for yourself. Give me $2,500,000 and you can have a world cup on the moon.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:45 AM on October 09

SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle

As far as I'm aware, The glory of Reading is a roundabout.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:32 PM on October 07

Miami Dolphins Fire Coach Joe Philbin

If the Tannehill thing is accurate then Donte Stallworth has a nice extra layer to add: Tom Brady used to pay practice squad players who intercepted him.

Meanwhile, some guy from the NFL is complaining about picking on a QB without a character blemish based on second-hand sources, which is chucklesome considering how the NFL spent its off-season.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:19 PM on October 06

Miami Dolphins Fire Coach Joe Philbin

There was a special commentary moment during the game where Ian Eagle said something like "Another failed third down. They've made that the focus of practice this week."

I mean, I wouldn't be completely surprised.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:19 AM on October 06

Miami Dolphins Fire Coach Joe Philbin

I saw Wilson's story yesterday. It doesn't ring true of the Tannehill who shows up in front of the press - I've never picked up a petulant vibe from him - but with this franchise, anything is possible.

After he got turned down for stadium funding I was hoping Ross would move the team to LA so I could sort of give up on them. Probably kidding myself though.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:52 AM on October 06

Miami Dolphins Fire Coach Joe Philbin

Defensive Co-ordinator Kevin Coyle is apparently out the door as well.

With half a secondary and no linebackers the Dolphins' defence is actually pretty terrible, but probably not last-in-the-NFL terrible.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 03:37 PM on October 05