Recent Comments by alumshubby

Hockey Sweater Showdown! #1 Montreal Canadians vs. #2 Chicago Blackhawks

In the Blue Jackets defense, they've shed the neon yellow-green bug that looked like it should be playing college football in Atlanta. Well, yeah, except that a swooping stylized Ohio flag has "non-hockey-fan focus-group consensus compromise choice" all over it. But then, "Blue Jackets" isn't exactly the most inspiring choice for a team name I've ever heard, either. That's usually what US Navy sailors call themselves (in addition to other descriptors like "screwed by recruiter," etc.); I've heard it's supposed to be some murky reference to Northern soldiers during the US Civil War -- not a terribly well publicized connection to the Columbus area that I've become aware of. 'Sides, the notion of Yankee troops doesn't intimidate this Southern boy much -- back home, we think of them as "cannon fodder from up Nawth."

posted by alumshubby at 08:18 PM on October 30

Vick to still play.

The NFL said Vick would still get his preseason pay... But of course he will, loves.

posted by alumshubby at 05:34 AM on July 24

Bears beat the Lions and they're the worst team in the past five years.

Maybe the Fords should sell the Lions franchise to the Chinese so some of that coin we've be blowing on cheap imports can come back over here.

posted by alumshubby at 07:42 AM on December 27

Hall of Famer Gainey's Daughter Swept Off Ship in Storm

Humming "Eternal Father, Strong to Save"(yes, I know she's not Navy, but the principle applies) and praying like crazy here.

posted by alumshubby at 11:21 AM on December 11

Big Ben

OH! Sir, this recruit knows how he heals so damn quickly. He's, what, 24? At that age I recovered from dings pretty quickly too.

posted by alumshubby at 10:56 AM on September 13

Big Ben

If he can give 100 leg lifts without slacking off, he's healed enough to play. (Disclaimer: IANAm.d., although I've had to deal with a transmuscular incision roughly about that far down.)

posted by alumshubby at 10:55 AM on September 13

Free Furniture for Armchair Quarterbacks

BTW, folks: How many of you expect Brett Favre to start at noon on New Year's Eve day when the Pack has its rematch with duh Beahs? I'm not saying he'd take a dive, but maybe it'll be time to start giving what's-his-name (Rodgers?) a few snaps instead.

posted by alumshubby at 10:51 AM on September 13

Free Furniture for Armchair Quarterbacks

Indeed, defenses on teams that are winning big will sometimes slack off a little bit in the fourth quarter, resulting in a "trash" TD that doen't affect the game's outcome but obviates the blight of a shutout. It's human nature to ease up a little when it doesn't matter all that much, but with some DCs and defensive units, the "no trash scoring EVER" is a big point of pride.

posted by alumshubby at 10:33 AM on September 13

Raiders go way back, sign inactive quarterback George

George, the top pick by Indianapolis in 1990, previously played for Oakland in 1997-98, is mostly an insurance policy for the Raiders, who already have Aaron Brooks, Andrew Walter and Marques Tuiasosopo on the roster. The article doesn't mention money, unless I missed it, but I bet the "premiums" on this "insurance policy" are dirt cheap, too. Anybody wanna bet whether he's still on the roster (not practice squad, etc.) at the end of the season? And yeah, everybody's raggin' on Al Davis, but I wonder what on earth Art Shell is thinking unless he got George for, like, five cents a game.

posted by alumshubby at 06:37 AM on August 29

Charlotte Observer: Panthers were juiced for 2003 Super Bowl run

I hope you'll excuse a derail, but this has been on my mind lately anyway: If they're going to start cracking down on steroids, doping, whatever...maybe they ought to have a weight limit so there won't be an arms race to have the biggest, strongest guys. Imagine if everybody had to come in at 250 or less and the key differentiators among players at a given position became agility, stamina, quickness, smarts, durability etc. What's really weird to contemplate is that as recently as the late 1960s, weightlifters in the NFL were considered oddball "body beautiful" types who wouldn't necessarily be tough enough to take the pounding.

posted by alumshubby at 06:28 AM on August 29

Bengals Fans Can Call 'Jerk"'Hotline

Yeah, I hope that the enforcers bring their brains along. If I'm merely cheering for the opposing team, I don't think I should get this used against me by some overly partisan hometown fan.

posted by alumshubby at 07:10 AM on August 09

From Bad to Worse for Maurice Clarett

He's damned lucky he didn't reach for any of those weapons, or we'd be reading about Mr. Clarett in the obituary pages.

posted by alumshubby at 07:06 AM on August 09

Your university as a Simpson's character

The USC Gamecocks/Edna Krabappel comparison cracked me up...until it intimated that Steve Spurrier can turn things around. Doug's clearly unfamiliar with the "Chicken Curse"!

posted by alumshubby at 05:09 PM on June 05

Hey fake fans: Make like Damon and leave

They show up like every day is Christmas, and you know what that means: You just lost your seat at church. You have shown up week after week, year after year, and now you have to stand behind the last pew because of some lady with an obnoxious pink hat. I don't know how they do things in Boston, but I'm more used to seeing holiday churchgoers wear obnoxious pink accessories at Easter.

posted by alumshubby at 03:41 PM on June 04

New 'MNF' team buckles up

ESPN, paying a record $1.1 billion annual rights fee, .... Eeek! For $1,100,000,000.00, I hope they're getting their money's worth.

posted by alumshubby at 11:30 AM on May 29

8th Seeded Oilers knock out the President's Trophy winning Red Wings 4-2

(singing) Oh, we're the...Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers number on...oh, wait... (slinks off dejectedly)

posted by alumshubby at 05:29 AM on May 02

The Helmet Project.

Boston/Portland Breakers (USFL), best wraparound helmet logo evar.

posted by alumshubby at 06:41 PM on April 20

Demand for Duke lacrosse gear soars

I worked with a guy whose most prized article of clothing was a Rae Carruth Panthers jersey.

posted by alumshubby at 06:36 AM on April 20

So his coach offers support? Buy him a jockstrap.

we do have to consider him "innocent until proven guilty With all due respect: Unless "we" are jurors in a courtroom, we can consider him guilty based on his prior behavior if we so choose. I hold Ricky to a higher standard precisely because he's screwed himself, his team and his fans repeatedly; he deserves no benefit of the doubt no many how many yards per carry he averages.

posted by alumshubby at 12:46 PM on February 26

Fighting Artichokes?

The Richland College (Dallas, TX) Thunderducks

posted by alumshubby at 05:10 AM on February 16

Raiders look to the past for a coach,

I have no personal animus toward Davis -- I don't know enough about him to understand why so many do -- but it's gotta be tough to go back to a job you'd been fired from. And it doesn't help that Shell will have to put up with some of the prima donnas in that locker room. (I'm dreading the morning I read that Davis signs T.O.)

posted by alumshubby at 01:48 PM on February 13

Warriors fire PR manager over "Ghetto Prom" email

What I'd like to hear/read is commentary on those outfits by the team from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

posted by alumshubby at 05:21 AM on February 03

Serious inside dirt on the Seattle Seahawks

Or the time Marcus Tubbs lost a number when someone ripped a digit off his jersey. So I guess those appliques are stitched on, not fused to the fabric? One guy buys him a watch? They should buy him a steak dinner every week. Ongoing recognition would probably be nice, but on the other hand, it's not like the watch was a $19.95 Timex, either. Like the time then-owner Ken Behring moved the Seahawks briefly to Los Angeles. Huh...I don't even remember that they went to LA.

posted by alumshubby at 08:47 AM on January 28

Seattle SuperSeahawks

I thought Hudson was a corporal?!? Well, the Big Black Cats disappointed me...again. Good luck, maritime birdies. You'll need it, methinks.

posted by alumshubby at 04:41 AM on January 23

Pittsburgh's Road to the Super Bowl

I know that was an inadvertent misspelling and you meant things are hopping in the 'Burgh, but there's definitely some hoping going on as well! And certainly with good reason. I'm with Bradshaw -- I don't think either the 'Hawks or the Panthers (my fave team, to the extent that I have one) can beat 'em.

posted by alumshubby at 05:42 PM on January 22

E.S.P.N. Gameday just became a bit more palatable

Former "GameDay Final" panelist Trev Alberts landed himself in hot water by describing Ole Miss as "the runt of the litter." Like, DUH! Hell, everybody knows the runt of the litter is Mississippi State.

posted by alumshubby at 04:51 AM on January 19

Panthers Bury Bears

I'd thought there wouldn't be 40 points scored in the entire game; impressive that both teams scored 20+ against some pretty stiff defenses. Nice to have the Bears back in postseason play. I wasn't all that confident that the Panthers could beat the Bears in Chicago, and Seattle is going to be a whole new adventure in overachieving -- I hope.

posted by alumshubby at 05:01 AM on January 16

Marcus Vick's downward spiral continues...

He's F'd himself. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

posted by alumshubby at 07:03 AM on January 10

Vince Young turning pro

You can not get into UT without brainpower While attending UT, I knew a junior in journalism school who thought El Paso was a state. I tutored a business-school sophomore who honestly didn't know what a noun was. (Your mileage may vary, of course.)

posted by alumshubby at 02:24 PM on January 09

Vince Young turning pro

I understand the temptation to go ahead and turn pro, but the idealist in me wishes just once a solid-lock-on-first-round player would say, "I'd like to graduate first." (The idealist in me is an idiot, of course.)

posted by alumshubby at 02:07 PM on January 09

Steelers Rob Bengals

How hard is it to come back from an ACL injury? How much mobility will Palmer lose, and to what extent did he rely on being able to move around in/outside the pocket to start with?

posted by alumshubby at 07:15 AM on January 09

Carolina Skunks New York

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the big black cats' upcoming trip to Chicago. The Bears don't suck on defense, and they've already beaten the Panthers once during the regular season, so hopefully Fox and Co. will be better prepared the second time around. I'll agree they don't have the flashiest, most exciting offense around, but isn't a boring win better than a showy loss?

posted by alumshubby at 07:11 AM on January 09

More Pro Teams Starting Own TV Networks

"With all due respect to the Indians, I'm not sure there's an insatiable appetite for Indians programming and nothing else," Swangard said. Even with all the games they already had on FSN Ohio, I already couldn't be bothered to watch 'em much. If they actually launch this, I give it two years unless the Tribe get into postseason play.

posted by alumshubby at 07:39 AM on January 07

Washington Nationals Face Washington Locals

There's actually even enough population in some of the larger cities in South Carolina also to support a team Columbia couldn't hang on to their A-level South Atlantic League franchise (stadium issues and weak attendance), but they're about 90 min. from Charlotte. I know there are Columbians who make weekend trips to see Braves games, so it's not unreasonable to assume a few would make a run up I-77 to catch a game or two.

posted by alumshubby at 05:22 AM on January 04

Ex-Ohio State Star Runner Wanted for Armed Robbery

Not to derail from the racism-fest, but...why steal a friggin' cell phone? I mean, what's the point?

posted by alumshubby at 04:03 AM on January 03

Ex-Ohio State Star Runner Wanted for Armed Robbery

Clarett has a real future in the Raider Nation. See, this kind of thing is exactly why nobody takes the Raiders seriously anymore. Well, this kind of thing...and a 4-12 record...

posted by alumshubby at 07:09 PM on January 02

Doug's Drop Kick

I see from zippinglou's link that a dropkick is worth more points in the AFL; has it been attempted much there? (Not an Arena fan....so far)

posted by alumshubby at 08:38 AM on January 02

if they earn it let 'em celebrate

I do sorta miss the Redskins "Fun Bunch." I think the most enjoyable end-zone celebration I've seen was on tape from an NFL game of yore, when a Vikings(?) player grabbed a cheerleader and began to polka in the end zone.

posted by alumshubby at 01:56 PM on December 30

Leading FSU Tackler Suspended for Sexual Assault

Hmmmm. I blame society.

posted by alumshubby at 05:01 AM on December 30

if they earn it let 'em celebrate

I can understand celebrating a touchdown -- those are the point of all the effort that's being expended on the field -- but what bothers me is seeing a defensive back act like he's just saved the entire game when he makes a fairly routine tackle.

posted by alumshubby at 04:52 AM on December 30

Why canít it be Miller time again?

Miller was frequently interesting and funny, but he was a distraction from the games, not an enhancement to them.

posted by alumshubby at 05:24 AM on December 28

Turn Out the Lights, The Party's Over

The oddest aspect of the Dennis Miller experiment was that the alternative (maybe never really a serious one, but I've read conflicting stories about it) was Rush Limbaugh. Whatever you may think of his political bombast -- and I try not to -- he was and is a fairly knowledgeable fan, and it's interesting to speculate what he would've brought to the booth.

posted by alumshubby at 04:51 AM on December 27

God Bless Ye Merry NFL

I am safe in presuming that Randy Horick can shut the hell up and kiss my ass.

posted by alumshubby at 08:59 AM on December 25

How Bout Them Chargers!

Good on 'em...I hope they can avoid days like they had against the Dolphins, though. That was pretty bizarre.

posted by alumshubby at 11:55 AM on December 23

"My record was a product of doping."

I cheated once -- ONCE -- at thumb wrestling..and I'm really ashamed. Seriously, though...I salute Ms. Schneider for her integrity.

posted by alumshubby at 11:46 AM on December 23

Tony Dungy's Son Found Dead

.

posted by alumshubby at 03:25 PM on December 22

Pro Bowl Selections

I wonder how many votes T.O. got....

posted by alumshubby at 06:42 PM on December 21

No suds in the Meadowlands

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but if I'm reading this right, the Jets are banning alcohol from exactly one game. Is this merely because it's a Monday night game -- presumably with national exposure on television -- as opposed to Sunday afternoon? I'm really failing to understand this as anything other than the crassest kind of window dressing.

posted by alumshubby at 06:58 AM on December 21

No suds in the Meadowlands

lil_brown_bat, I took the liberty of correcting that link "Jets' final game against the Bills" for you...you're welcome.

posted by alumshubby at 06:50 AM on December 21

Will Pete leave USC for the NFL?

Masked -- I forgot about that Super Bowl appearance; I was thinking more of aggregate Ws and Ls. Okay, so Ross isn't a good example. (Unless you're Detroit Lions fan.)

posted by alumshubby at 12:10 PM on December 15

Will Pete leave USC for the NFL?

Considering how it worked out for Steve Spurrier, Lou Holtz, and Bobby Ross -- from middling to downright embarrassing -- I hope he doesn't get a bad case of "victory disease."

posted by alumshubby at 05:02 AM on December 12

will the Seahawks beat the Colts in week 16?

The next-to-last time I thought a really good team might go undefeated, the #2-ranked USC Gamecocks choked against Navy 38-21. The last time I thought it would happen -- a little more than a year later, in fact -- the Bears lost to the Dolphins 38-24. In other words...if the Seahawks score thirty-eight points, look out.

posted by alumshubby at 12:05 PM on December 09

2005 Bears as good as 20 years ago?

Pat Kirwan makes a living writing about football and I don't, so I hesitate to sneer at him for this conjecture. Hell, the man has to write something interesting to satisfy his editor by deadline. But, admittedly casual NFL fan that I am, I'm having a terrible time seeing the validity for comparison based on his writeup. The only concrete comparison I see him making is how many points per game the two defenses allow. Is that really enough to tell whether there's a valid comparison? What about first downs, or yards per game, or interceptions and sacks? Forced fumbles? Points on turnovers? Completion percentage? What about opposing teams' time of possession? Besides, it's "apples and oranges" to some extent if Kirwan's comparing one team that's just past the midway point of it season to another that played all the way to the Super Bowl.

posted by alumshubby at 12:13 PM on December 02

Specter Backs Down

The question now is which one of Specter's staffers sat on the corner of his desk and explained patiently and confidentially that he was making a nationwide laughingstock of himself.

posted by alumshubby at 09:20 AM on November 30

Good team or good enough team?

On the other hand, could this mean that the Panthers aren't all that wonderful this year?

posted by alumshubby at 01:38 PM on November 22

The Hit That Changed a Career

Monday nights, I worked until about 9, and I'd just gotten home and reheated a big chicken dinner. Sit down, turn on the TV, start eating, and they're showing the replay. Woof!

posted by alumshubby at 09:53 AM on November 19

Spike more bark than bite

I was kidding, KIDDING about Howie, a.k.a Spike; I actually respect him, compared to the kind of useless Sunday-afternoon-spoiling asshat "fan" that stofer71 is describing. Howie may put up a rather, ah, involved front, but basically his heart is in the right place; I especially appreciated that "I don't like posing with people when they're holding a beer," he explains, "[to say nothing of posing when] "holding my own beer. That doesn't look right." This weekend I had the opportunity to run up to Cleveland for the Browns-Dolphins game, and besides the prospect of blowing $50 to see breathtaking spectacle of two 3-6 teams competing for higher slots in next year's draft, knowing that I might have to sit within earshot of obnoxious drunkards helped me decide to keep my money and watch the game on TV.

posted by alumshubby at 04:24 PM on November 18

Spike more bark than bite

Aaaaaawwwwww. Isn't just precious that Howie likes to play dress-up for his very favoritiest team?!? Too bad they're 3-6.

posted by alumshubby at 05:35 AM on November 18

McNabb might be going ... groin ... gone

Where's Phil Hartman when we need him? Mistuh Hartman, he dead.

posted by alumshubby at 06:29 PM on November 17

Jesse Jackson meets with T.O.

All this is, is a shameless attempt by both people to remain in the spotlight. I'm hoping it'll turn out like Shakespeare described: "As two spent swimmers, that do cling together/And choke their art."

posted by alumshubby at 07:20 AM on November 15