January 18, 2007

One Toke Over The Line, Ron Mexico... : Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick "reluctantly" turned over a water bottle to TSA agents at the Miami-Dade International Airport yesterday. Upon closer inspection, the bottle had a hidden compartment containing "a dark particulate" and emanating "a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana." Considering that Ron Mexico's had at least one TSA problem before, why would you even try to get something through security?

read story | posted by The_Black_Hand to Football at 12:34 PM CDT (149 comments total)

It's got water, it's got a compartment for dope, it's just a couple of pieces away from being an awesome travel bong!

Man, I wish I was rich and famous so I could get my hands on some cool paraphernalia like that! Shit, I'm still using the old stuff!

By the way, my Ron Mexico incognito name is "Fausto Slovakia." How much ass does that kick?

posted by The_Black_Hand at 12:37 PM CDT on January 18

You would hope that Vick would be smarter than that, but apparently that isn't the case. His "initial reluctance" basically gave away that he had something to hide. The other TSA problem was very interesting because I had heard nothing about that before hand. Just another incident in Mr. Mexico's glorious off the field career.

Sincerely,

Jon Cyprus

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 12:44 PM CDT on January 18

He's not making enough money to have his own greenhouse for this very thing? Or at the very least, enough money to hire a mule? What an idjit.

Lurve,

Stanley Uzbekistan

posted by NoMich at 12:55 PM CDT on January 18

He was going from Miami to Atlanta and had to smuggle some "dark particulate matter emanating a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana"? WHAT?! They don't have weed in Atlanta? What a putz!

posted by steelergirl at 1:06 PM CDT on January 18

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm so in awe of Vick's athletic prowess that I always hope the best for him. This does not bode well. And especially after he got Mora fired!

Domo,

Shizeki Bukakimiri

posted by vito90 at 1:11 PM CDT on January 18

Smoking Gun has pictures of a similar product.

Yours,
Holmes New Zealand.

posted by tieguy at 1:12 PM CDT on January 18

Why was he carrying a water bottle to begin with? Didn't he get the memo about water bottles and airport security?

Sincerely,
Robb New Zealand

posted by rocketman at 1:25 PM CDT on January 18

Considering that Ron Mexico's had at least one TSA problem before, why would you even try to get something through security?

Because he was high?

Sincerely,
George Greenland

posted by grum@work at 1:32 PM CDT on January 18

Wow...what an idiot.

Sincerely,
Giorgio Montenegro

posted by hawkguy at 1:35 PM CDT on January 18

Rocketman and tieguy do you two have a secret to share?

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 1:36 PM CDT on January 18

Be it known that I am ... Robb Zambia.

posted by worldcup2002 at 1:36 PM CDT on January 18

If I add my middle name, I go from 'Holmes New Zealand' to 'Rock Canada'. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call an upgrade.

posted by tieguy at 1:36 PM CDT on January 18

You know, if I followed the Falcons any more than I do (which is not much), I suspect I'd probably be sick to death of his hijinks at this point. But from here, it's still not such a big deal. He knew he was going to get dinged for this eventually, right? I mean, it's happened before, and the upside of having the chronic wherever he at clearly outweighed the downside of getting occasionally caught, so he puts in his service, pays his fine, it's all good, right, brah? I mean, the government may be following him wherever he goes, and he might have cameras in his bathroom now and all his purchases are being tracked by this secret government office, even the cash ones, but he knows that, you think?

But yeah, what was I saying? Falcons fan, right.

Right. Okay. Yeah, if I was a Falcons fan, I'd be pissed.

grease for peace,
Phillippe Italy My actual name gives me Jose Maria Guiana. It's a tradeoff.)

posted by chicobangs at 1:41 PM CDT on January 18

Dude, I'm Johnnie Isle of Man. Talk about having a secret to share.

posted by SummersEve at 1:42 PM CDT on January 18

And my SpoFi name gets Erik North Pole.

This can't be good.

posted by SummersEve at 1:44 PM CDT on January 18

It is almost necessary to be high to fly right now. The TSA agent should have let him slide. Plus, his job is in jeopardy right now. Oh, and I am still using the old stuff as well. Viva Mexico!!!

posted by OneLbRibEye at 1:46 PM CDT on January 18

Reading about this has made me hungry.

Poofter Lichtenstein

posted by govtdrone at 1:49 PM CDT on January 18

Neat spy bottle, but any paranoia-inducing substance is best consumed once you are on the plane. Amateur.

Dante Iran.

posted by garfield at 1:52 PM CDT on January 18

He had better hope that black substance wasn't hash. In my state(CA) it is treated much differently than weed. If TSA want to be jerks about it they could probably try to throw down some b.s. like he was attempting to transport both paraphanalia and a controlled substance across state lines. I'm sure Vick will be forced to 'lawyer-up' and claim that the water bottle retrieved from the recycling bin was not the one he was carrying. I toke daily and would never ever consider taking a small amount of weed through an airport ,especially in a water bottle are you f'n kiddin me? The risk isn't worth the reward especially for someone in his position. I'm not sure if this was an act of ignorance, arrogance or both but either way Vick deserves whatever sh*t he catches for this debacle.

posted by biglu44 at 1:53 PM CDT on January 18

Brilliant a water bottle with a stash for his stash.

Sincerely, Bacon Greece

posted by sterlingsilver at 2:01 PM CDT on January 18

Seriously? Bacon Greece? Seriously?

posted by chicobangs at 2:03 PM CDT on January 18

Bacon Greece. Best ever.

posted by hawkguy at 2:04 PM CDT on January 18

I used to appreciate Michael Vick for his on-field scrambles and highlight reel plays, not to mention the ridiculous skills of his Madden character. Now, though, I appreciate Michael Vick for the sheer creativity he brings to his off-field shenanigans. Spreading herpes while masquerading as the shadowy Ron Mexico! Flipping the bird to his own fans! Sneaking through the airport with mysterious marijuana byproducts stashed not-so-discreetly in a faux-Dasani! If the "black particulate" turns out to be resin that he scraped out of his pipe while he was chillin' on South Beach, I might die laughing.

Yours truly,
David Lee Polynesia

posted by Venicemenace at 2:12 PM CDT on January 18

Isn't this what posses are for?

Guy Egypt

posted by mbd1 at 2:12 PM CDT on January 18

Holy crap, my SpoFi name gives me Bruno Somalia.

That's way better than David Lee Polynesia!

posted by Venicemenace at 2:14 PM CDT on January 18

Duel Threat QB = $130M
Bottle of water = $1
Ron Mexico name generator= priceless

sincerely,
Peter Venezuela

posted by Hornsfan817 at 2:19 PM CDT on January 18

You know, I have really tried liking this guy but he continues to do such stupid shit. Hey, I have absolutely nothing against him wanting to burn some now and again. But seriously...an airplane?

Alfred Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

posted by willthrill72 at 2:24 PM CDT on January 18

Considering that Ron Mexico's had at least one TSA problem before, why would you even try to get something through security?

I think we can safely surmise Mr. VIck's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Yours in love and VD,

Jean-Pierre Bosnia

On preview: Will, you have to form a band with that name.

posted by wfrazerjr at 2:30 PM CDT on January 18

The real scandal from this story -- Dude flies Air Tran???

Best regards,
Tony Vanuatu

posted by holden at 2:34 PM CDT on January 18

He's trying really hard to make Marcus look good, isn't he?

Cheers,
Jose Maria Malawi

posted by Ufez Jones at 2:47 PM CDT on January 18

What do you suppose they mean by, "Upon closer inspection"?

Thanks,
Fausto Cuba

posted by 86 at 2:47 PM CDT on January 18

I can't believe that this has taken so long:

"You put your weed in it."

posted by NoMich at 2:57 PM CDT on January 18

``When held upright the bottle appeared to be half full of water,'' the report said.

That wasn't Ron's bottle! His was half empty!

Signed,

Big Boy Ecuador, that's right Big Boy.

posted by tselson at 2:58 PM CDT on January 18

Oh yeah, my real Ron Mexico Name Generator name is Pavel Tunisia. Oh man, that rules!

Shukran,

Pavel Tunisia

posted by NoMich at 2:59 PM CDT on January 18

Vick's foibles are so comedic I think society needs to give the quarterback a pass.

Sincerely,
Nikko Spain

posted by rcade at 3:03 PM CDT on January 18

what an idiot. Just get back to Atlanta and have Marcus hook you up

Duff Belarus

posted by erkno11 at 3:18 PM CDT on January 18

I can hear his excuses now..."Hey it came that way out of the vending machine"...or "Its not my fault, the cahier at Starbucks gave it to me"...
Oh, and by the way, they must have ran out of country last names and started using U.S states...
Respectfully;
Bruno California

posted by oh2rooper at 3:22 PM CDT on January 18

Thank you NoMich -- I was thinking about that sketch earlier but wasn't sure if the reference was too obscure.

They were talking about this incident on one of the local talk radio stations. The host was screaming, "That's why you have a posse, Mike!!"

posted by Venicemenace at 3:29 PM CDT on January 18

Sorry, I mistyped my name in Ron Mexico Name Generator.

I'm actually Kip Kenya, which is MUCH cooler.

posted by grum@work at 3:30 PM CDT on January 18

I wonder if he had an Original Whizzinator (tm) as well? He should talk to Adonis Sweden -- er, Onterrio Smith.

Dante Cape Verde (real name: Rock Uzbekistan)

posted by TheQatarian at 3:31 PM CDT on January 18

"The bottle's label concealed a seam that separated it into halves. The top and bottom portions held clear liquid, while the suspicious substance was found in a middle compartment, according to a police description."

And from which half did this middle compartment come? Thirds, people. Thirds!

- Rocco Qatar

Who'd a thunk a guy like Rocco Qatar would be so anal retentive?

posted by cl at 3:39 PM CDT on January 18

It's one thing to be going where you don't know anyone and can't get any, but DUDE WAS HEADED HOME! The only reason not to just dump it is he's too cheap to buy some more. Mike, you,ve got $130,000,000. Oh, and the generator gave me Jean Pierre Montserrat, but please sign me Hugo Hungary.

posted by gradioc at 3:46 PM CDT on January 18

I couldn't think of a clever comment to write so I could sign my alias.....so I'm just going to sign it anyways.

Alfred Alaska (aka Jorge India)

posted by smithers at 3:47 PM CDT on January 18

Well ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Yours,

Hunk Madagascar

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 3:57 PM CDT on January 18

Maximillian armenia

posted by louisville_slugger at 4:00 PM CDT on January 18

what smithers said.

with love,
Eva Bangladesh (spofi name, Leelee Herzegovina)

posted by goddam at 4:03 PM CDT on January 18

I'm sure he could have puffed pre-airport, had someone pick him up with a big old sack of green--why did he need it on the plane? Either a: it was some wicked chronic that he just couldn't bear to part with, b: he's a cheap-mf, or c: and the most likely reason--he's a retard.

What happened to the old fashioned way of smuggling something on a plane--you know, where you're pretty safe unless they require a cavity search:)

Adriana Cote d'Ivoire

posted by jenny at 4:24 PM CDT on January 18

Blah blah blah. Blah!

Cheers,
Kip Mongolia (spofi: Boy Palestine)

posted by LionIndex at 4:38 PM CDT on January 18

I can't understand why he'd try to make a secret compartment in something that wouldn't be allowed on the plane anyway. Last time I flew, they confiscated my water bottle. Isn't that a rule?

-Jeremy Guinea-Bissau

posted by Samsonov14 at 4:38 PM CDT on January 18

Hey now. Ron was just looking out for the security guards. He knew it'd get confiscated, but he wasn't supposed to be caught. After he had a chance to get away, the guards were supposed to take it back to their breakroom and get their party on. Ron is a good patriot looking out for the security of our borders.

Little John Luxembourg

posted by apoch at 4:49 PM CDT on January 18

A few names I looked up...

Marcus Vick- Hank Bosnia
Jim Mora Jr.- Pedro Portugal
Barry Bonds- Rod Paraguay
Michelle Wie- Leelee Sweden
Quentin Tarrentino- El Niño Syria

That last one is pretty sweet.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 4:52 PM CDT on January 18

pass the hash Ron

sincerly, Björn Kiribati.
??? thats what was generated

posted by trrron at 5:08 PM CDT on January 18

AKA (alt last name)Gary Saint Kitts

posted by trrron at 5:09 PM CDT on January 18

Wonder if this will rate an NFL suspension for the beginning of next season...

Hans Trantor

posted by billsaysthis at 5:25 PM CDT on January 18

I once saw a 3 foot tall bong that was shaped like a dragon. It had a fish bowl sized water container in the stomach and two pipes coming out of the nostrils. Considering how loco the TSA has been about taking any liquids on planes, I think he would have had more luck with the 'dragon pipe' ballanced on his head while singing Kumbaya.

Cheers,

Rocco Eritrea
aka Miguel Vanuatu

posted by FonGu at 5:31 PM CDT on January 18

Now we know what he was thinking about when he was flipping off his fans.

*Man, I need a water bottle soooo bad!*

Yours,
Hercules Kenya

posted by wingnut4life at 5:32 PM CDT on January 18

Maybe Michael should move to NH. There is a bill in the NH Legislature to decriminalize marijuana. One of the sponsors is a state rep by the name of Chuck Weed. Honest! I didn't make that up.

Hotsi Waturd (Well, at least it's an anagram)

posted by Howard_T at 5:36 PM CDT on January 18

What an idiot, ruining the water bottle trick for the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Victor Nova Scotia

posted by jphclub at 6:17 PM CDT on January 18

1. Mike? You can afford to buy new weed, man.
2. TSA may not be able to stop terrorists, but they are good at catching NFL players sneaking drug paraphernalia onto planes. Mike, who did you get your travel tips from? Onterrio Smith?

Love,

Adonis Bermuda/Bruno Falkland (I can't decide which one I love more).

posted by Bonkers at 6:21 PM CDT on January 18

Dante Iran wrote: Neat spy bottle, but any paranoia-inducing substance is best consumed once you are on the plane., Amateur.

Thanks for the tip. I may need it.

Signed With Many Flourishes,
David Lee Burkina Faso

posted by Amateur at 6:35 PM CDT on January 18

I have to agree with Holden. The dude signs a contract for a buck thirty and he's flying Air Tran?!? I'm not a bit shocked about the weed. The choice of airline, though, that's scandalous!

Bjorn Sweden

posted by carolinared at 6:40 PM CDT on January 18

Mike--I know flying can be stressful, but you need to find other ways to relax in public.

I am a military wife who frequently flies alone with three small children. Ironically, we too fly AirTran (my 7 year old will be looking for NFL players on all future flights). I've been reading your postings for awhile now but this thread made me laugh so hard that I just had to join.

Hugs and Kisses,
Sophie St. Lucie

posted by Sophie St. Lucie at 6:42 PM CDT on January 18

What a dumbass.

Regretfully,
Adonis Isle of Man

posted by t money at 6:54 PM CDT on January 18

Welcome, sophie. Good to see you here. At the risk of sounding like a marketing major, how did you find us?

posted by hawkguy at 7:19 PM CDT on January 18

I'd like to join hawkguy in welcoming not only sophie, but also the other newer users who have commented in this thread. Welcome to SportsFilter.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 7:39 PM CDT on January 18

what's the problem here?

posted by nafsfeihc at 7:45 PM CDT on January 18

Thanks hawk. There's a link to SportsFilter on my Yahoo homepage--you're coming up in the world:-)

BTW--I just read that Michael Vick is an AirTran spokesman. I guess that I would take the comp flights too, even if I was a millionaire.

posted by Sophie St. Lucie at 7:46 PM CDT on January 18

Ron Mexico could be his own reality TV network. This guy is awesome.

-Hank Kazakhstan

posted by fabulon7 at 8:01 PM CDT on January 18

Maybe Vick can be the cover boy for Up in Smoke.

- Erik Saudi Arabia

posted by igottheblues at 8:40 PM CDT on January 18

An occasional thread like this, to bring out the (non-trollish) lurkers, isn't really a bad thing, is it?

posted by chicobangs at 9:03 PM CDT on January 18

Best thread ever.

'Tie Guy''s Ron Mexico name: Jean Pierre Equatorial Guinea.

I'm so using that next time I get a hotel reservation.

posted by tieguy at 9:08 PM CDT on January 18

wow, that name generator's pretty cool...and Vick's level of stupidity continues to increase. Just to stay a little on topic.

-Björn Egypt

posted by boredom_08 at 11:00 PM CDT on January 18

Picture Michael Vick with a water bottle and the slogan "Fly high all the way with TSA!"

Thank you, I'm here all week!
Raquel Ecuador

posted by steelergirl at 11:25 PM CDT on January 18

hmmm.

-Don Mexico

How did this thing know we were brotha's?

posted by Bishop at 11:38 PM CDT on January 18

Dammit!I gave him a copy of my book!!!

Sincerely,
Dr. Timothy Leary!

posted by mdavidsf at 12:52 AM CDT on January 19

Michael Vick and reality mentioned and connected to one another in the same sentence..........sounds like somebody's been sharin' the dark substance emenating the odor of marijuana!

Bodo Norge

posted by brbcca at 2:10 AM CDT on January 19

I wonder who's locker he is going to say he got it from.

posted by Mr C at 4:22 AM CDT on January 19

I must say, Sophie is my favorite newbie ever, since she signed up using her Ron Mexico name as her SpoFi handle. You rule, Doll!

Best thread ever.

Man, I've been waiting for a while for a good Mike Vick story to bust out the Ron Mexico Name Generator. We should require it for all new members.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 5:18 AM CDT on January 19

Man, I've been waiting for a while for ~~a good~~ any Mike Vick story to bust out the Ron Mexico Name Generator.

Fixed?

posted by Bishop at 6:29 AM CDT on January 19

This is the best thread ever. I'm tempted to pull an njsk8r20 and change my handle to Erik_North_Pole.

I also want to apologize for being the lame-o who didn't follow the rules in this thread. Johnnie Isle of Man just throw me for a loop. If anyone's thinking of opening a male prostitution ring, that should be the name of your new company.

posted by SummersEve at 6:30 AM CDT on January 19

I couldn't let Sophie St. Lucie be the only newbie. I just couldn't resist the opportunity any longer. Dude just weave it into your dreds and the tsa guys wouldn't know any difference..dark particulate, and emanating a pungent odor.. btw: hawkguy and yym, i've read spofi for awhile and finally took the opportunity to register. (so you won't sound marketive)...I HAVE A CONFESSION...i'm a former LEO, and Vick, aren't there more sophisticated compartments in a lamborghini to carry this stuff, oh, that's right...I mean, chevy yugo....silly me..

Wishing my best on your next flight,
Contreras Borneo

posted by bavarianmotorworker at 8:03 AM CDT on January 19

I must be living a pretty sheltered life not to have previously discovered the Ron Mexico name generator...What an awesome development! Think of the good it will do for all of mankind! Sweet! Seriously, when I read of the exploits of Ron Mexico, I though to myself "I could use an alias too!" Now, with absolutely no effort on my part at all (save for a few simple keystrokes) I have one! I will henceforth and forever be known as Big Boy Tonga! Improving the qualitiy of people's lives! Thanks Ron Mexico--er, I mean Michael Vick!

posted by timbo31771 at 8:17 AM CDT on January 19

If I add my middle name, I go from 'Holmes New Zealand' to 'Rock Canada'. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call an upgrade.

Thanks for the tip.

Formerly,
Rocco United Arab Emirates

Currently,
Ricardo San Marino

posted by bdaddy at 9:05 AM CDT on January 19

Just for posterity:

Pavel Malta

posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:01 AM CDT on January 19

Thanks for the tip. I went from Big Boy Norway (ugh) to Johnny Belarus.

posted by bobrolloff at 10:06 AM CDT on January 19

So all SpoFi needs to do is run the Ron Mexico name genorator in a thread a couple times a year to pull the lurkers into our little web of sports paradise. Too cool!

I agree Vick is some what of an idiot for this stunt. If you want to take your own stash with you town to town it can be done, I know, i've done it (years ago). Its like "comming into Los Angeles, bringing in a couple of keys, don't touch my bags if you please Mr. customs man....."Arlo Guthrie.

So being the band wagon jumper, box car ridin' fool I am I'd like to welcome those who just joioned.

Dont ask, dont tell, Robb Djibouti.

posted by Folkways at 10:10 AM CDT on January 19

this is sweet...I hope it doesn't end...y'all are just too funny

Contreras Borneo

posted by bavarianmotorworker at 10:13 AM CDT on January 19

If I add my middle name, I go from 'Holmes New Zealand' to 'Rock Canada'. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call an upgrade.

Formerly Ginger Seychelles

now... Laetitia Azerbaijan

posted by jerseygirl at 10:13 AM CDT on January 19

Big Boy Norway. That is AWESOME.

posted by SummersEve at 10:18 AM CDT on January 19

I like Ginger Seychelles better.

Doing the same thing:

Hunk Madagascar begate Gary Malta begate Stark Sahara. Fuck me - I'm all kinds of unstoppable coolness.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 10:24 AM CDT on January 19

Laetitia Azerbaijan

That is a mouthful.

- Jon Cyprus who can also be known as Fausto Liechtenstein.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:27 AM CDT on January 19

Fausot Liechtenstein! You'll have to grow a pencil moustache and maybe wear suits made out of fine imported silk and perhaps a fedora.

posted by jerseygirl at 10:30 AM CDT on January 19

Johnnie Isle of Man is also known as Bubba Trinidad.

posted by SummersEve at 10:36 AM CDT on January 19

Derek Jeter is Buster Iraq.

posted by SummersEve at 10:37 AM CDT on January 19

Oh Crap--when I added my middle name I became "Crissy Nova Scotia". I guess that can be my alias the next time I get busted at the airport.

As ever,
your Sophie

posted by Sophie St. Lucie at 10:37 AM CDT on January 19

I used to have a utensil that looked like a mini-maglight. The county sheriff didn't notice it when he pulled me over for having a tail light out. I never would have tried to take it on an airplane though.

Peter Bahamas

posted by MrFrisby at 10:37 AM CDT on January 19

And my name is PSYCHO

posted by Psycho at 10:56 AM CDT on January 19

This story has a sweet cupholder.

Yours truly,
Mild-mannered-office-worker-Peter Bermuda/undercover-drag-operative-Missy Venezuela.

posted by BullpenPro at 10:59 AM CDT on January 19

Mr Vick, you can hire my 737 charter for a lot less than what your TSA encounter will cost you in legal fees and suspended games. And, you can have all of the dark particulate matter emanating a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana that you can carry on board- if you share....

Derek United States

posted by irunfromclones at 11:01 AM CDT on January 19

Added my middle name and went from Giorgio Montenegro to Dante Costa Rica.

With a name like that, I could have been Vick's supplier...

posted by hawkguy at 11:07 AM CDT on January 19

Kip Kenway becomes Ricardo Vietnam by adding my middle name.

posted by grum@work at 11:12 AM CDT on January 19

irun: I so, so, so want to be Derek America. I will definitely trade you.

posted by BullpenPro at 11:13 AM CDT on January 19

Fausot Liechtenstein! You'll have to grow a pencil moustache and maybe wear suits made out of fine imported silk and perhaps a fedora.

Fausto seems like what you said, pencil moustache detective sort while Jon Cyprus seems more like the guy from the Transporter 2.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 11:14 AM CDT on January 19

I so, so, so want to be Derek America. I will definitely trade you.

For some intangible reason.

posted by yerfatma at 11:15 AM CDT on January 19

Johan Santana is Giorgio Côte d'Ivoire, which is better than Joe Mauer being Danny Turkey.

I guess if I am ever in need of a red door clinic alias, then Kip Switzerland (spofi name)is as good as any...and I like it better than David Lee Alaska.

posted by chris2sy at 11:20 AM CDT on January 19

My International Family of Mystery

Jorge Switzerland-my alter-ego to Duff Belarus
Anita Belize- my mysterious and skillful latin wife
Natalie Arizona- my cunning and deceitful 4 year-old

posted by erkno11 at 11:30 AM CDT on January 19

The best part is if this had happened to any of us we would be locked up with other suspected terrorists and left to rot in jail a few weeks.

He was allowed to go get on the plane after.

Debo Italiano

posted by Debo270 at 11:47 AM CDT on January 19

Danny Turkey is awesome.

posted by 86 at 12:25 PM CDT on January 19

Let's get back on topic please?

Sincerely,

Pompous Paulie Poland

posted by texasred at 12:37 PM CDT on January 19

O.k. I wanna play.

Real name = Hank Guyana
With middle name = Stark Anguilla

Sincerely
Jorge Macedonia
(justgary)

posted by justgary at 12:38 PM CDT on January 19

Hello ron mexico! Your Ron Mexico name, the ultimate disguise, is Michael Vick.

Nice, so at least one name on there is not a place-based alias...not much fun if your real name is Ron Mexico though (I think Rcade linked to this guy in the original Ron Mexico thread):

UC player caught in name game
Craig Muder
Staff

By CRAIG MUDER

Observer-Dispatch

UTICA - Ron Mexico has been dragged into the national spotlight.

Fortunately for the former Utica College hockey player, none of this is his fault. Unfortunately - because the case involves National Football League star Michael Vick - Mexico himself has become national news.

Vick, the Atlanta Falcons' quarterback, is being sued by an alleged former girlfriend who claims he knowingly gave her genital herpes in 2003. The lawsuit, filed in the state court of Gwinnett County, Georgia, and posted on thesmokinggun.com, alleges that Vick has used the name "Ron Mexico" as an alias "for the purposes of herpes testing and/or treatment."

Soon after the lawsuit was published, radio stations from across the country began calling the real Ron Mexico in Utica.

"They did a `Google' search and Ron Mexico came up playing hockey for Utica College," said Mexico, a senior from Big Rapids, Mich. "Me and my dad are the only Ron Mexicos in the country, I think.

"I found out two or three days ago when my buddy from Michigan told me he heard it on the radio. I thought he was just pulling my leg, but I got a call from a Los Angeles radio station yesterday."

Mexico has not been served with any legal documents, and has never met Vick. But on the heels of UC's run in the ECAC Playoffs in March, Mexico's brush with Vick has brought even more publicity to the Pioneers' hockey program.

"What's been great is on the air they've been introducing him as Utica College hockey player Ron Mexico," said UC coach Gary Heenan. "I had radio stations from Atlanta, L.A. and Detroit calling me to get Ron's number."

Mexico, who appeared in 14 games for the Pioneers' this year, is one of 13 seniors who helped turn UC from a brand new program in 2001 to a national power in 2005. And when Mexico graduates this spring, his hockey legacy will long be remembered in Utica.

His name, however, is now linked to Michael Vick.

"I have no idea how he got it, but I hope this doesn't hurt me," joked Mexico. "You know what my major is? I'm going into hospital administration."

posted by chris2sy at 12:50 PM CDT on January 19

Not sure why I linked and cut-and-pasted the same article, but there you go. I blame Kip Switzerland.

posted by chris2sy at 12:52 PM CDT on January 19

Just for fun I ran through some famous names that have been in the news lately:

George W Bush = Adonis Norway
Kim Jong Il = Giorgio Falkland
Fidel Castro = Robb Equatorial Guinea
Raul Castro = Jon New Zealand
Donald Trump = Jean Pierre Iraq
Rosie O'Donnell = Yvonne New Zealand
Britney Spears = Eva Portugal
Paris Hilton = Sarah Venezuela
Paula Abdul = Sophie Myanmar
Angelina Jolie = (and this is my personal favorite) Alotta South Korea

posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:55 PM CDT on January 19

So all SpoFi needs to do is run the Ron Mexico name genorator in a thread a couple times a year to pull the lurkers into our little web of sports paradise. Too cool!

I'm sure that Mr. Mexico himself will be happy to oblige us with the opportunities...

btw, first name only gives me Karl Hong Kong.

posted by smithers at 1:06 PM CDT on January 19

where is this name generator page. i want to play

posted by Debo270 at 1:30 PM CDT on January 19

Thom Argentina or Jorge Slovakia... such a tough decision.

posted by tron7 at 1:37 PM CDT on January 19

Can anybody please explain why Mr. Black substance, with pungent emanations, is still considered great? Maybe it's because NEXT year will be his break out year. Maybe he should try the Boise State "statue of liberty" more often than trying to use that rocket arm of his. He appears capable of concealing objects well. Or just maybe he should try tailback. Seems to me he's doin' plenty of runnnin' for the offseason. (an aside) If I were of a particular color, I would probably use an alias of someone of same color, that at least 1/2 looked like me. Didn't he know they can NCIC check him? Okay, maybe not.

Forever the same
Contreras Borneo

posted by bavarianmotorworker at 1:40 PM CDT on January 19

If I were of a particular color
You, being transparent.

posted by BullpenPro at 1:46 PM CDT on January 19

sincerely,
e.
e.

ecuador

posted by yerfatma at 1:55 PM CDT on January 19

where is this name generator page. i want to play

posted by Debo270 at 1:30 PM CST on January 19

In the thread title, link= Ron Mexico's

posted by Folkways at 1:59 PM CDT on January 19

Weed is not a performance enhancer- right (unless you are playing XBOX or in an eating competition)? This might help to explain Senor Mexico's recent play...

Jeremy Kenya

posted by pbrandguru at 2:02 PM CDT on January 19

stupid ass firewall wont let me play

SO SAD!!!

posted by Debo270 at 2:02 PM CDT on January 19

Debo - My email is on my profile page...if you're interested, send me your real name and I'll run it for you.

posted by hawkguy at 2:05 PM CDT on January 19

Or we can assign a name to Debo.

Spofi Debo is Rocco Arizona.

Enjoy.

posted by jerseygirl at 2:07 PM CDT on January 19

Perhaps this story about Kwame Brown's (Ricky Guatemala) incident incident with a late night chocolate cake is better understood in lieu of Ron Mexico's recent trails...

posted by pbrandguru at 2:12 PM CDT on January 19

I didn't realize I had so many relatives here at spofi but there seems to be a few of us with the same last name.

Sincerely,
Alicia Alaska

posted by skydivemom at 2:24 PM CDT on January 19

I am married to Lex Malaysia. Hmmmmm....Lex, I kinda like that! Yeah, now I am married to Sexy Lexy!

posted by skydivemom at 2:28 PM CDT on January 19

Bullpen- Derek America is up for trade, or I added my middle name for.....

"Johnnie South Pole", of the Pole Brothers

Vick, if you had just put Pepsi (Jan Guiana) in that bottle rather than water (Jojo Guiana) then the TSA (Devon Bermuda) would never have seen the Marcus Guadeloupe!

posted by irunfromclones at 2:28 PM CDT on January 19

Good Lord, I've created a monster.

Fixed?

Not even close. I wrote what I meant, and I meant what I wrote. Thanks for trying, though.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 2:38 PM CDT on January 19

Dont ask, dont tell, Robb Djibouti.

That's a cool name. Since Djibouti is in the Middle East, you could be Sheik Djibouti. Yeah, now *that* is a cool name.

Buster Iraq

Buster? I didn't even bring 'er!

posted by NoMich at 2:39 PM CDT on January 19

Okay, with just my first & last names, I come out as Coach Russia. I thought this was way cool until I added my middle name. That turned into Duff Ontario. The hockey connections here are unmistakeable (except that Dickie Duff played for Canadiens). Consider me the King of the Puckheads (I've got to get rid of that lisp).

posted by Howard_T at 2:47 PM CDT on January 19

great! I didn't even get a country last name... Bruno Brunei???..oops, my bad, Brunei IS a country...maybe it was the second hand smoke in geography class?!

Bruno Banderas Brunei (that's with my middle name addition)

posted by bavarianmotorworker at 2:55 PM CDT on January 19

great! I didn't even get a country last name... Bruno Brunei???..oops, my bad, Brunei IS a country...maybe it was the second hand smoke in geography class?! I'm a 3rd, so with my first name addition I get to be Chad Puerto Rico...ha! double country.. full name's the kicker...

Hakan Antartica

hey, didn't hakan play center for the houston rockets awhile back?
P.s. does this thing work in reverse?

posted by bavarianmotorworker at 3:01 PM CDT on January 19

If nothing else, I think we must thank young Mr. Vick for uniting Yankee and Red Sox fans, for uniting Ohio St. and Michigan fans on this site ... he should be our ambassador.

Forever and always,
Jose Maria Monaco AKA Xavier Maldives

posted by littleLebowski at 3:27 PM CDT on January 19

Heroin goes in the condom, the condom goes in my bum, I walk a little funny through the terminal.

Peace
Xavier Ukraine

posted by HATER 187 at 3:27 PM CDT on January 19

BTW, if I use my middle name it becomes John Mullet Namibia. I had no idea Barry Melrose and I were related.

posted by willthrill72 at 3:55 PM CDT on January 19

Hello boys and girls, I'm Coach Malaysia.
I told him to higher TO's former Publicist.
Word on the street is she planted the hash in hopes of his ODing on it.
Alas, he flicked off Mr. TSA before I could teach him how to use it.

posted by jmd82 at 4:11 PM CDT on January 19

hola ladies, just call me, Xavier Guyana.

posted by texasred at 4:19 PM CDT on January 19

Vick's image takes one more big hit.

The take from Atlanta on Ron Mexico's latest Adventure

Bodo Norge

posted by brbcca at 4:24 PM CDT on January 19

Sorry folks.....I'm a little new at this link thing. What I was tryin' to post is an article from the Atlanta Constitution Journal. Talks about why folks might be a little distraught over the latest faux pas, by the (as annointed by Steve Young) greatest player in the NFL.

Once again my apologies.....I'll try to do better next time.

posted by brbcca at 4:29 PM CDT on January 19

Lex Malaysia

Isn't that a reading disorder?

posted by yerfatma at 4:31 PM CDT on January 19

Did someone paige Nikko China?

posted by danjel at 5:05 PM CDT on January 19

maybe he got it out of Mark Sweeny's locker

posted by water1 at 6:03 PM CDT on January 19

As I understand it Vick had the chance to toss the bottle away. Actually he did toss it . He just missed the wastebasket. This is typical of Mr. Vick, another incomplete pass. Maybe he should have tried to outrun the TSA's rather than going for the long pass down the middle.

posted by BlindAlvin at 7:02 PM CDT on January 19

Started out as Tommie Hungary, then I added in my full name and became John Mullet Equatorial Guinea.

. . . .

I'm not sure Mama ever wanted me to grow up to be a Mullet.

And I know this is a bit off-topic, but even though Tennessee already has Vince Young starting at QB, I'd love to see Vick released from Atlanta and sign w/the Titans just as a test of Norm Chow's resolve, spirit and teaching skills.

posted by chilledbro30 at 4:33 AM CDT on January 20

Since Djibouti is in the Middle East...

NoMich, Djibouti is actually on the African Continent. Right above the Horn of Africa, Somalia. I did a layover there when my Army unit was coming back from a tour in Somalia in '93. I've always loved the name of that country.

Yours truly,
Nikko Ontario. (SpoFi name used)

posted by wingnut4life at 7:07 PM CDT on January 20

Michael Vick won't face criminal charges over a suspicious bottle he tried to bring through security at Miami International Airport. Lab tests on the bottle, which contained a hidden compartment that police suspected may have contained marijuana, found no evidence of drugs, according to a memo Monday by Deisy Rodriguez, an assistant state attorney.

posted by irunfromclones at 12:57 PM CDT on January 22

Lab tests on the bottle, which contained a hidden compartment that police suspected may have contained marijuana, found no evidence of drugs, according to a memo Monday by Deisy Rodriguez, an assistant state attorney.

Woah, I just heard this and I'm not sure what to think. What do you hide in a secret compartment that looks like marijuana, smells like marijuana, but isn't marijuana? Also, why didn't the Falcons deny the charge? I mean, I assume they spoke to Vick before issuing their statement.

posted by tron7 at 5:27 PM CDT on January 22

Why was Vick the one carrying the bottle in the first place? He has an entourage/posse. That's one of the main reasons you keep those guys around. LOL.

posted by oberyn at 7:42 PM CDT on January 23

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