Newsflash | SportsFilter

Please keep all 'back' jokes to a minimum.

posted by garfield at 12:01 PM - reply - flag:

Well, now there's nothing holding her back from a career in the porn industry. Woo hoo!

posted by bcb2k2 at 12:05 PM - reply - flag:

Maybe if she wasn't always on her back, her back wouldn't be injured..... Wait, I can do better. Her back was more integral to her success than originally thought.... getting warmer....nope, i think thats all i got for the day.

posted by garfield at 12:52 PM - reply - flag:

Now that's spin! I'm not "lousy at tennis," I have a "nagging back injury!" This is awesome. I will use this in my next performance review.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:07 PM - reply - flag:

Truth is, she is retiring so that we can spend more quality time together...

posted by StarFucker at 01:42 PM - reply - flag:

Wake up SF! You're still on the job. No time for nappies.

posted by garfield at 01:52 PM - reply - flag:

Watch that left groin there, SF.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:08 PM - reply - flag:

If i was her agent, I'd suggest the nude modeling next step - it's what her fans want and isn't the customer always right? Reminds of a story I heard about the McCarthy trials when a young starlet with ties to suspected communists was being grilled by a senator at the hearing prior to it being televised (they had rehersals). She was asked where she got the money for her house, car and club membership despite not working in the past 2 years - she responded "Becuase I am the world's greatest cocksucker, senator, and if you ask that question tomorrow on TV that's the answer you're going to get."

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:14 PM - reply - flag:

Kevin Brown suffers strained left groin... Jones sprains left groin... Jaguars' Taylor suffers strained left groin...

posted by StarFucker at 02:37 PM - reply - flag:

(sound of typewriter)..... 'In other news, the right groin complained of being overshadowed by its more heralded kin. "It's just not fair. I had a go at Lance Armstrong earlier this year. I've atleast tangoed with a World Champion." Later, the right groin was seen crying in a corner, in what seemed to be the end result of a argument. Leftie was also seen speeding away from the scene in spandex.'

posted by garfield at 02:48 PM - reply - flag:

Roy Oswalt's right groin answers back...

posted by mbd1 at 02:58 PM - reply - flag:

Weedy, I need details! That's a helluva claim, and I'd like to do some research. HUAC, right? Yeah, what up 12th grade history.

posted by garfield at 03:00 PM - reply - flag:

worldcup believes he only has one groin...i just thought i would clear it up for him...

posted by StarFucker at 03:06 PM - reply - flag:

I am chagroined by that information. Hahahahahaha.

posted by worldcup2002 at 03:10 PM - reply - flag:

This is actually legitimate news...or news to me. I wonder if the equation includes a factor for the almight dollar, and not just W's and L's. This is interesting, but behavioral economics is far from flawless, as is any theory in its infancy, and as always exceptions happen. But I like the direction this is going in.

posted by garfield at 04:06 PM - reply - flag:

garfield, did you post to the wrong thread?

posted by StarFucker at 04:28 PM - reply - flag:

I always do that....kinda off in my own little world. Actually, the 'news' theme is where I made the connection. You're right though. This new link is way too serious for a joke post.

posted by garfield at 04:45 PM - reply - flag:

its still a cool story though....behavioral economics....check it out. (and if this is common knowledge to some, please excuse my ignorance.) (sound of a typewriter) 'And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.'

posted by garfield at 04:55 PM - reply - flag:

'We interupt our broadcast to bring you this breaking story.' "ESPN has uncovered some main points in the prosecution's case against Kobe Bryant: The alleged victim sustained injuries that indicate their sexual encounter was not consensual, and Bryant intentionally misled authorities during questioning, sources familiar with the prosecution's case say" The above text was all that was available at first. The crux seems to be defining 'sex'. Again. 'Hon? could you get Bill on the phone? I need to talk to him.' So some consensual activity took place, but the intercourse was non-consensual. Kobe, you dumbass! A hummer ain't enough for ya?! Oh yeah, by the way, how do divorce proceedings take place when you are incarcerated?

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

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